To have found what this mum said to my DH out of line

Rude. Many dc have 2 working parents who need to work and it’s none of her damned business. I certainly couldn’t make an event during the day. Great for her if she has the capacity to attend.

Was your DS S behavior disruptive and your DH unable (or unwilling?) to manage him? You say other parents were trying to help. I wouldn’t be happy to parent other peoples DC at any event just because they seem incapable of doing it themselves. It was a snarky comment and I don’t think she should’ve said it but I can’t imagine it came from nowhere.

This post was back in May and the OP never returned. I wouldn’t bother posting people

Honestly there are so many crap dads and husbands out there, there might be fewer if there was some actual peer pressure to be present and turn up. You've not clarified whether he's normally very involved so appreciate this may not be relevant. But there's a dad in DH's friendship group that still acts like a single man and I think it's good when the other dads tell him it's not cool to leave his partner to do bedtime every night. More social pressure would make it harder for some dads to get away with being rubbish.

She was rude and interfering.

But hopefully this is an opportunity for you to unpick why your son was so upset dad was there instead of mum. Perhaps he does need to work on his relationship with his son? Most people need to work, but there are other times and ways to be an active and involved parent.

Well someone needs to go to work to provide a roof over your son’s head and food for his belly.

This woman was totally out of order. My youngest is now in her final year of high school and I can not wait to put the school years behind me.....mainly because of other comments like this from Mums who stick there nose in and cause trouble when it's not needed. She sounds horrible and no wonder you dont like her OP. My advice going forward would be to completely ignore this woman and keep yourself to yourself where school is concerned. Concentrate on your own family. At least your child had a parent there.....alot have nobody there if parents both work!!!

She’s very rude, yes. It’s literally none of her business. How to make enemies(!)

Of course it’s rude.

I assume your DS’s behaviour was less about DH being there and more about you not being there and so her comment was unnecessary.

DS needs to understand that you can’t always be there.

And I assume DH needs to learn how to manage DS’s behaviour properly.

Would she have said this to a Mum if it was the other way round?

We need more context surely? Were they having a big conversation and he said his wife attends these things etc etc? Because to be fair more men do need to attend school events, there’s a handful tops at any pt meetings

She was rude, but weird that you talking about how you "sent" your DH. Is he a child too?

I hope he told her that she needs to mind her own business

Agree, it’s none of her business and she should have kept her meddling mouth shut, some people think they know everything about other peoples business when in reality they know very little

Did he look totally out of his depth, having no idea how to handle his son or something? I can't think of a reason for a 6 year old to be visibly unhappy with his dad being there. Rude of her but maybe his behaviour was so out there it shocked her?

Everything about your post and the way you've worded some things ('I sent my dh' 😬) suggests to me that she's right.

Odd of her to say it outloud though.

How rude to stick her oar in. She doesn't know you or your circumstances. Judgemental cow.

At least the laws of karma mean her own little darling is going to have a total shitfit for her some time very soon haha

Even if she was right, it was not her place to come out with a comment like that.

Does she have a partner? Was he there?

Either way, she needs to pipe down. She has no idea of the family circumstances.

She must be cold up in that ivory tower.

I'd be livid if some judgey fucker said something like that to my husband. Although he doesn't need me to defend him to be fair.

What did your husband say?

Even if she was right, she was out of order. It’s not her place.

What was the behaviour your child displayed? We have kids whose parents attend every single thing that still get upset, especially when they leave. It’s not necessarily an indication of their relationships or how much time they spend together.

TBH it’s all completely irrelevant. Even if she did have a point, it was extremely rude and quite nasty to get a dig in while he was struggling anyway. Even worse if it was in front of your son too.

Was she rude? Yes.

Does that matter more than if she was right to your actual family? No.

so, if there is truth in what she says, I would focus more on addressing that than whether she was rude or not.

Her nose is very much where it shouldn't be. It's not up to her how your family arranges itself.

Right or wrong do you think its appropriate for random outsiders to poke their nose into your marriage?