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Original poster

I’m a jealous person

56 replies

jealy · 07/05/2025 14:07

I know Im being ridiculous please knock sense into me. Im jealous that my sister might get pregnant. Her baby will be newer and more exciting than my baby. She’s just finished her PhD. I also have a PhD but now she’s also gone and got one. I have thoughts like ‘how dare she’. I wish I could just be lighter and less like this.

Im so jealous and insecure. What can I do about it? What are your experiences of this?

OP posts:
Hoolahoophop · 07/05/2025 14:14

I understand what you are saying. I recognize some jealous, or envious tendencies in myself, stemming from insecurity I think. It is not a characteristic I admire or am proud of, but have trouble controlling it.

Counting ones blessings is supposed to help.
Recognizing the feeling, re-evaluating and turning it on its head I think is part of CBT techniques for turning negative thoughts into constructive ones.

mildlydispeptic · 07/05/2025 14:12

I think a lot of us struggle with envy. Funny, I was just recently having a discussion about it with a therapist friend and she said Melanie Klein did quite a bit of work on it. I got the book but haven’t read it yet (sorry, not super useful, I know!)

EggnogNoggin · 07/05/2025 14:12

You do 2 things.

  1. A bit of naval gazing about why it bothers you. Do you want a baby? Attention?
  2. You decide not to pay attention to the feeling. You literally correct your thought process "I don't think like that any more, I'm happy she's happy. A happy person would buy an outfit, I'm going to buy am outfit". Thoughts are habits are behaviours are attitudes and the affect your whole personality and mindset.
Foundationhelp · 07/05/2025 14:10

How old is your baby?

It definitely sounds like a ‘you’ problem but equally it will have stemmed from your childhood. Have you always been compared to each other and done similar things? I find people have these feelings when they are similar.

Are you happy in you life and with what you’re doing and where you’re at? Any reason to be jealous of your sister? I think if you can be confident with who you are your life will be a lot easier.

RocketPanda · 07/05/2025 14:10

I think you need more professional help than MN posters.

JacquesHarlow · 07/05/2025 14:08

What can I do about it?

In what sense?

You can't control others achieving things..... but you can control your reaction to their achievements .

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