Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU being against my neighbor having a party on the same day as my DC’s?

162 replies

Mocha0202 · 07/05/2025 13:39

its my DC’s first birthday and I sent out invitations a month ago. I also invited my neighbor.
i will have a few babies over and about 12 adults.

A couple of days ago my neighbor told me she’s planning on having a party in her garden (that’s over the hedge from mine), with a big bbq and about 20-25 adults. They will be outside from the morning until the night, alcohol obviously involved.

I am concerned about the noise and the smoke overstimulating the children and basically ruining my party.
AIBU for thinking that it’s a very inconsiderate thing to do and asking her to change the date of her party?

OP posts:
Womanofcustard · 07/05/2025 14:27

OP I’m with you on this.
You invited the neighbour and her response was to have a party of her own!

OneAgileTraybake · 07/05/2025 14:25

😂😂😂😂😂 such PFB behaviour

Shoxfordian · 07/05/2025 14:25

No you can't ask her to change the date
The world doesn't revolve around your kid

namechangeGOT · 07/05/2025 14:24

but, what are you trying to protect your child from exactly?

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 07/05/2025 14:22

4pmwinetimebebeh · 07/05/2025 14:02

OP you’re having a really hard time here but I get it. We’ve lived in a terrace with tiny gardens and a party next door makes a big impact! It’s fine and obviously they can do what they want but music, chatting etc form a lot of people is noisy and if you’re trying to play games or speak to people it will impact. It’s not you being selfish but if you’re worried ask her which day and maybe move your party if possible.

This is a mother with a less than 1 year old baby be kind everyone jesus

‘This is a mother with a less than 1 year old baby be kind everyone jesus’

Does she have protected status as the mother of a ‘less than one year old baby’ or something?!

blackgreenandgrey · 07/05/2025 14:20

it's her garden and she should be able to have people over when she wants. The whole idea of approaching her to move the date is bonkers and make you look batshit. Definitely don't.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 07/05/2025 14:19

Mocha0202 · 07/05/2025 13:59

No, of course I don’t own her garden.
both gardens are really tiny, I can’t even change the time of my party to earlier because she said she’ll be there from early morning until the night.

I get everyone’s point of view, it’s just my babies 1st birthday and maybe I’m being overprotective and worry too much. I know I can’t dictate what she does but if I could avoid them being on at the same time it would be great.

I said earlier that I asked her to change the date of her party. Actually she said she will have hers on Saturday or Sunday, so I asked her to tell me which day exactly so that I can change my party.

Who starts a party in the early morning?!

brettsalanger · 07/05/2025 14:18

Overstimulated? 😂 what are you talking about !

CremeEggThief · 07/05/2025 14:17

The only one being unreasonable here is YOU, OP! How dare YOU be so entitled?

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 07/05/2025 14:17

@MmeChoufleur that’s hilarious 🤣

Ariela · 07/05/2025 14:17

Are your babies going to be partying past 7pm? I imagine they'll just sleep through next door's party having got tired out earlier.

Shadowsunray · 07/05/2025 14:17

Wow, the amount of people I see on MN who think the world revolves around them is insane. No, of course you can't ask her to change the date of her party. You change your date if it's such an issue. Other people also have days they want to celebrate. Self obsessed much?

Hobnobswantshernameback · 07/05/2025 14:16

Reverse?

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 07/05/2025 14:16

Mocha0202 · 07/05/2025 13:39

its my DC’s first birthday and I sent out invitations a month ago. I also invited my neighbor.
i will have a few babies over and about 12 adults.

A couple of days ago my neighbor told me she’s planning on having a party in her garden (that’s over the hedge from mine), with a big bbq and about 20-25 adults. They will be outside from the morning until the night, alcohol obviously involved.

I am concerned about the noise and the smoke overstimulating the children and basically ruining my party.
AIBU for thinking that it’s a very inconsiderate thing to do and asking her to change the date of her party?

How long is your child’s birthday party going to last? From my recollection, at that age they get tired very quickly so it’s hardly going to go on all day is it? Couple of hours tops.

Obviously you can ASK your neighbour to move their party, but prepare for them to take exception to that and you could well start a problem with them that could escalate. Believe me, you do not want problems with your neighbours. You just need to leave it.

MmeChoufleur · 07/05/2025 14:16

Maybe if you contact your local council they may enact a local lockdown, given that it’s such a special occasion, and make all non-party guests sit inside their homes in total silence.

Agapornis · 07/05/2025 14:16

Who joins a barbecue in the morning?! Surely no guests will show up until 1-3pm ish.

StClabberts · 07/05/2025 14:15

1/10

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/05/2025 14:15

So is the neighbour coming to your 1yr party

what age kids does she have ?

frozendaisy · 07/05/2025 14:13

You are being precious OP

Babies are low down smoke rises unless it's billowing wind then you won't want to be outside much

Once your party is in swing, music on, adults talking, babies being cute you won't notice next door.

Although next time I would be hesitant to tell you neighbour, as it is a bit odd you invited her round then she decided to have a full day party on the same day. It's odd. Nothing you can do about it, just odd.

Morning to night? That's odd in itself. I can see why you feel it's a bit sabotage-y.

But you just need to chin up, carry on and have a great 1st birthday for your baby and guests.

theemmadilemma · 07/05/2025 14:12

.

AIBU being against my neighbor having a party on the same day as my DC’s?
wandawaves · 07/05/2025 14:11

PFB?

GivingUpFinally · 07/05/2025 14:10

First birthday parties are completely 100% all about the parents. The baby won't remember, care or have a preference. Stating you're worried about the babies being over stimulated etc is again more bullshit. They're babies they will be over stimulated with or without neighbours holding a bbq.

Just be honest and say it like it is...you're having a tantrum because the neighbours party may ultimately take the shine off you as the dazzling birthday mum to the worlds most special, most precious baby.

Your neighbours have a right to enjoy their garden as they see fit as do you. Lighten up a little and enjoy your babies birthday party without fretting about the neighbours.

I know, I've been harsh but it needed to be said. Your baby will be ecstatic to see her/his parents laughing, being happy relaxed. The world doesn't revolve around your baby. Sorry

BaronessBomburst · 07/05/2025 14:09

I'm bemused that her party starts in the morning. What kind of weirdo does that? Will the guests actually turn up that early?

KrisAkabusi · 07/05/2025 14:08

Mocha0202 · 07/05/2025 13:59

No, of course I don’t own her garden.
both gardens are really tiny, I can’t even change the time of my party to earlier because she said she’ll be there from early morning until the night.

I get everyone’s point of view, it’s just my babies 1st birthday and maybe I’m being overprotective and worry too much. I know I can’t dictate what she does but if I could avoid them being on at the same time it would be great.

I said earlier that I asked her to change the date of her party. Actually she said she will have hers on Saturday or Sunday, so I asked her to tell me which day exactly so that I can change my party.

I don't understand why you're worried. What do you think will happen? Why do you think your baby needs protecting? They are in different houses and gardens. I can't really see how it will affect you at all.

beesandstrawberries · 07/05/2025 14:08

Oh no my neighbour is cooking dinner at the same time as me, the smells wafting out the window will be too much to handle!!