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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU being against my neighbor having a party on the same day as my DC’s?

162 replies

Mocha0202 · 07/05/2025 13:39

its my DC’s first birthday and I sent out invitations a month ago. I also invited my neighbor.
i will have a few babies over and about 12 adults.

A couple of days ago my neighbor told me she’s planning on having a party in her garden (that’s over the hedge from mine), with a big bbq and about 20-25 adults. They will be outside from the morning until the night, alcohol obviously involved.

I am concerned about the noise and the smoke overstimulating the children and basically ruining my party.
AIBU for thinking that it’s a very inconsiderate thing to do and asking her to change the date of her party?

OP posts:
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Miaminmoo · 09/05/2025 09:12

I don’t know what you are on about? Of course you are being unreasonable, it’s not even as if your DC will even remember this party. Your neighbour will be having ‘Alcohol’ imagine that - a party with Alcohol - shocking behaviour in her own garden 🥴 you need to lighten up.

ballettap · 08/05/2025 11:45

I came on to say YABU but I see you've realised yourself. It's lovely to see someone who is able to take on board criticism with grace.

You and your little one will have a lovely party, an additional party close by will probably add to the atmosphere and I seriously doubt they will be too drunk and loud during the day (unless they have form!) so it'll be be absolutely fine x

TorturedParentsDepartment · 08/05/2025 08:46

One of our neighbours likes to do the bouncy castle and DJ party in the garden combo for their kids birthdays - it's annoying as fuck for the rest of us - but it's their garden, they're not doing anything illegal (although how shit the music is is bordering on criminal) so it's grit teeth and get on with life territory.

Emmz1510 · 07/05/2025 22:34

In this country we have to take our good weather and outdoor parties when we can get them so yes yabu.

Welshmonster · 07/05/2025 22:27

so she’s holding it Saturday or Sunday? Sounds like she wants to hold it same day as your thing so she doesn’t have to invite you!

I bet whatever day she says and then you say I’ll do it opposite, she will change.

Arlanymor · 07/05/2025 21:23

Separate gardens, separate parties. YABVU and self-centred.

Kittyloulou · 07/05/2025 21:22

Entitled much????

Gyozas · 07/05/2025 20:58

Oh OP. “Overstimulated by smoke”. You are going to look back on this in a few years and die at how PFB you’re being. 🤣

Tortielady · 07/05/2025 20:50

dogcatkitten · 07/05/2025 13:44

A good time I would say, you won't be annoying them and their party won't be annoying you as much if you are also partying. Are you not offering alcohol to the adults?

I thought you were going to say their party had pinched half your guests.

I'm imagining the babies on the neighbour's side of the hedge, having loads of riotous fun.😁

mathanxiety · 07/05/2025 20:43

Crikey...

wobblyweasel · 07/05/2025 20:31

I think if there was a party next door involving lots of babies/children, I’d have a barbecue too! Just to drown out the noise.

Penguin92 · 07/05/2025 20:10

Maybe move to the middle of a field?

misseckleburg · 07/05/2025 20:01

Gently - you are. Your child is never going to remember its first birthday. Enjoy your gathering on the same day as your neighbour (likely to be at a different time?!) and move on with your day/life.

BitOutOfPractice · 07/05/2025 19:10

You’re worried about smoke overstimulating the babies?

I take it this is your PFB OP.

Bluebluesky1234 · 07/05/2025 19:08

Annoying isn't it 😒. But you can't ask your neighbours to change the date of their party. If you don't like them having a party at the same time then try and book a venue and let the invitees know of the change if venue, or you can change the date of your party instead.

AthWat · 07/05/2025 19:05

Missey85 · 07/05/2025 18:14

😂😂😂 a one year old doesn't even know it's Their birthday let alone remember it

Show quote history

You don't say!

Well, that's another day of learning for me.

MeetMyCat · 07/05/2025 19:01

This has got to be a wind-up!!

Mickeychampionwhatgoodami · 07/05/2025 18:59

lifemakeover · 07/05/2025 13:47

Didn't we have this a few weeks ago?

Very similar,it was asking the op not to use her garden incase it offended the posh guests her neighbour would be hosting.

Oioisavaloy27 · 07/05/2025 18:56

Sick of seeing and hearing if entitled assholes that think they own the world, they don't like you doing stuff then don't mind when they are doing the same stuff. Grow up and start thinking about the other people too.

Zezet · 07/05/2025 18:33

If I were told the neighbours were having a party, I would spontaneously be inclined to use the same date so we don't annoy each other because we are both entertaining! Goes to show what I know.

DisabledDemon · 07/05/2025 18:23

MattCauthon · 07/05/2025 13:51

I imagine she figured it was a great day - you'd be having a party yourselves so noise and general busyiness wouldn't be a problem.

YABU to even think, for a second, tht your neighbour has to take youru plans into account when making her own.

This is what I figured. You'd be out making whatever noise you were making and so she wouldn't be a disturbance to you. If she meant to disrupt your party, that would be very unreasonable indeed and rather incomprehensible.

WhiteRosesAndThistles · 07/05/2025 18:15

You're going to struggle when LO starts school....how will you cope when little Bertie has a party on the same day as your PFB 😱

FarmGirl78 · 07/05/2025 18:14

"I'm looking for advice. I've got a birthday coming up and had pencilled in a BBQ with friends at mine. I've got a lovely garden and want to enjoy it. It would be about 20-25 adults, obviously alcohol, but nothing raucous, and a good spread of food. My Neighbour had mentioned something weeks ago about her kids having a birthday, but it was so long ago I'd forgotten, just assumed it had been and gone. Now I've read the invite properly I've realised the parties clash! Obviously I can't go to next doors child's birthday but that's no big deal. But now the Mum is expecting me to cancel!! Because apparently the smoke from the BBQ might overexcite the kids! What is she expecting? Clouds of smoke billowing through the hedge meaning the kids can't find each other during hide and seek? 🤣 She's being ridiculous. What about the screaming hyperactive sugar filled demons who'll be shrieking constantly and kicking the ball over at my guests? It'll ruin my party but I would never expect her to cancel. I am being unreasonable in still going ahead with my own party? What on earth will my guests think? Screams and footballs in the potato salad will ruin a party much more than the smell of hotdogs!"

OP get over yourself.

Missey85 · 07/05/2025 18:14

AthWat · 07/05/2025 15:21

Have a heart, people! Imagine how sad her one year old will be when she remembers this occasion in 30 years time. Everyone's first birthday is a huge milestone, never to be forgotten.

😂😂😂 a one year old doesn't even know it's Their birthday let alone remember it

Thegirlinthegreenscarf · 07/05/2025 18:13

In the future op. You will look back on this thread, situation and cringe so badly. It's a complete none issue have your party and your neighbour has hers.... that's it the beginning and end of it.

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