Friend forgot my child's birthday

Jeez I don’t celebrate my friends birthdays let alone their kids! Unless seeing them on the day it doesn’t get a mention.

I would say it is unusual that in response to your text saying it was your child's birthday you didn't get a "happy birthday to them" text back. But "angry" is over the top. Spending more than 5 seconds wondering about it is over the top.

It's also unnecessary to send her children gifts and cards. Stop if you're not happy to do it. She might actually prefer that you don't.

is it just me who does a tiny eyeroll over "maybe I care too much"?

It is a shame but to others it isn’t a big deal.

I have absolutely no idea when any of my friends’ children’s birthdays are. Dh only realised last week when people wished him a happy birthday on the wrong day that he didn’t even get his own birthday right. 😂

Thing is, she's not you. You can't expect her to be you. You ARE expecting her to be you

I find that some people can be endlessly disappointing if I expect them to be like I am.

So I don't expect that any more

Perhaps you could choose to be more her and less you, around her?

The only peoples birthdays I remember are my own children. However, if someone said its my childs birthday on text, I would reply with happy birthday to x. She could have done this I suppose but not something ainwould get angry about.

You may think your child is the centre of the universe but that’s because they’re yours. The same doesn’t stand for everybody else.

People have enough birthdays in their own families to remember. Let it go.

She’s probably not answering now because she knows you’re going to blow your lid on her.

Makes me so angry as I always remember her children's birthdays, send text, get gifts etc

Just stop.

Not sure why you’re so angry! She forgot and you’re turning it into an issue! My sister always forgets family birthdays but remembers friends. My feelings I really have more important things to worry about! Just don’t send anything for her children!

Surely you’d just be relieved not to have to bother with the ghastly present/card-buying cycle that nobody actually wants or needs?

Also, I’m always amazed at the number of people who expect anyone other than immediate family to remember their kids’ birthdays! I find it deeply weird.

You’re not her friend. You only want her in your life in relation to adulation for your life.

Sorry. Step away. You’ll both be better off.

When I read the thread title I thought you’d forgotten your own DC’s birthday! Forgetting a friend’s child’s birthday is not a big deal.

Maybe she wants to end this whole gift giving cycle.

No one needs to be buying tat for others’ kids. Talk about an unnecessary mental load. Do men worry about this sort of thing?

You are being over sensitive! I have my own kids birthdays to remember, i am busy, forgetful and overwhelmed, I would be heartbroken if a friend was “angry and dissapointed” that I had forgoten a birthday! That sounds really really childish and you sound high-maintenance. My SiL did this once, i was in the middle of a nervous breakdown, postpartum depression and a toddler. I forgot that it was her birthday and did not give her a card / present. She started this hate vendetta towards me and pulled her mother (my mil) in with her that I should “do better/make an effort blah blah blah) it was horrible and please dont do that to your friend.

Handle it? Get over it. No fuss just forget it. Drama queen comes to mind.

Oh god stop being so bloody passive aggressive. You aren’t a better person because you send a card.

As an ADHDer with the forgetfulness of a dementia patient at times, I suspect she feels like shit and is avoiding replying because then she has to acknowledge that she forgot and upset you.

It’s embarrassing and it’s easier to bury your head in the sand.

I could be way off but it’s something to consider?

Yep, here we go again. Op is it the birthday or is it that all you do isn’t reciprocated. Suspect mainly the latter , if it is that’s your choice. The way women are taught to martyr ourselves doing everything for everyone and then getting hacked off when people don’t reciprocate.

my husband has had his birthday this week, very few cards he does not care he hasnt noticed , he’s not in this tit for tat situation.

maybe she’s absolutely mortified and trying to compose a message. You shouldn’t be friends though, this resentment can’t be good.

Only godparents remember my children’s, and I’m the same. There are too many!

My own family don’t send a happy birthday text or a card for their only nephew - my DS.

realised this year I always send them a birthday card and I didn’t even get a message from FB which prompts you to send happy birthday on their wall!!!

not gonna bother going forward.

I can remember the birthday of one friends child - he shares a birthday with me.
The rest of them - including his siblings - I don't have a clue.

But the birthday was last month? Not at the weekend?

It’s annoying as you usually both give gifts to each other’s children. I take this as my cue to stop.

Honestly none of my friends remember my kids birthdays. Usually comment happy birthday if I post anything on facebook, and my oldest friend happens to share a birthday with my 1 year old. It doesn’t phase me.

My childrens two aunts have never wished them or me happy birthday either but that’s a whole other story, one lives throwing distance and has never met them 😂

With respect, nobody cares about you're child's birthday as much as you do. Grandparents and family yes, but I've never known my adult friends to wish my child a happy birthday, unless their children have also been invited to the party of something. Likewise I don't really bother about my friends children's birthdays, if they post of Facebook I might add a HBDY comment.

It sounds like your child is pretty young? This really isn't worth losing a friend over or creating a fuss.