Friend forgot my child's birthday

I don't know any of my friends' kids' birthdays, I don't think most people expect friends to remember. It's lovely to be the friend that does remember and makes the effort but it's not something most people do - TBH give yourself less mental load, you don't have to do this yourself either. But if you do, don't expect reciprocation because for something like this it's creating unnecessary load on others.

so you know how to handle things going forward: friendship on back burner, ignore her kids' birthdays.

Easy.

I can’t understand how you would think your child’s birthday is important to anyone outside your family?

is there some back story that she demands gifts etc for her child on their birthdays?

🙄😂🙄😂

I genuinely couldn't care less about my friend's children's birthdays. She was rude not to send back a quick "Happy Birthday" but YABU to expect her to care.

I wouldn't be making an effort for her kids birthdays though, just match her energy!

It's frustrating to me because I make friends with adults and they almost expect that I am by extension friends with their children. I don't expect them to make a fuss of my cats lol

I still have to think hard when asked about when my own 3 year old birthday is lol. More than once I have been like 'the 5th of June, or is it July? no its June, wait its definitely the 5th not the 4th right?' in a panic.

Took a good couple of years to bed in and become second nature to answer without having to overthink it with all my kids, I honestly couldn't tell you when a single one of my friends kids birthdays are.

why are you friends with such a selfish person then- isnt that rather on you for allowing this kind of petulant tantrum from a grown adult to continue and saying absolutely nothing about it?

All hell would not break lose as surely you have boundaries and would walk away/put the phone down/ not reply to messages.

Stop buying for her kids. I can see both sides. Youre going to feel put out that your efforts for her kids go unreturned but people have busy lives and friend's kids are not usually the priority. Maybe just see it as a sign to stop with it all.

I did a big FFS !

I had an hour long conversation with one of my closest friends this week and about 4 hours later it dawned it on me it was his birthday. We both had a good laugh about it.

Some weeks I’m lucky if I’d remember my own child’s birthday 😂

(not literally, of course….)

Having certain expectations of other people is likely to lead to disappointment and upset.

You can't make people care about things you think they should but you can try and manage your own reaction. Just for your own wellbeing. With the best will in world we all forget things.

Because nobody actually gives a shit about your child birthday- other than direct family.

I don’t even remember my own family’s birthdays or send them presents. If there isn’t a party, I don’t buy a card or present.

I get it OP. A friend of mine makes a massive thing about her DD birthday, we all get pics, friend gets cross if her friends drop DD gift off a day later or if they get a sh*t gift etc. Yet she forgot my DD birthday this year when she messaged me with 'hello' type of thing at 6pm and making idle chat about if I was going to the gym that eve .. err no, we are on our way out with DD to celebrate her birthday.

All hell would break out if we forgot her DD birthday or didn't make a fuss about it etc

My close friend forgot my childs birthday last month and I feel so disappointed and not sure how to handle?!

She's not your friend. Unfriend her on all SM and block her immediately.
In future be more choosy when making friends.

As long as you manage to unclutch your pearls by the end of 2025, you should be OK.

In future, send several reminders of your family birthdays to all your close friends and relatives .

Yeah, this. One of my friends has 6 kids, another has 3, another has 2 and I have 2 of my own. Thats not even including the children in my own extended family.

There is absolutely no way I could keep up with all those kid's birthdays- and thankfully none of my friends would expect me to and vice versa. The birthdays I celebrate are those in my immediate family - I dont have the physical or emotional time/bandwidth to keep track of a list of 20 or so children's birthdays. YABU.

That's OK just remember the effort and match the energy it's no big deal

@Mrsbattenburg to continue giving gifts when it is not reciprocated is poor etiquette and very rude. You make the other person feel uncomfortable.

Unless your aim is to bully your friend into gift giving (I don't think that's your aim) you are unintentionally being incredibly impolite.

And stop getting other people’s kids gifts, @Mrsbattenburg they get enough and it’s OTT.

No need to buy her kids presents or cards. You think a lot about her. She puts less thought into you so stop putting in so much unnecessary effort in. Continue friendship if she offers assistance in other ways.

Realy life is way too short to be stressing about nothing at all . Peaple have real problems goin on in the world ,

Very few people will care for your kids the same way you do.

it means NOTHING if someone doesn’t text YOU (assuming your child is small) to say happy birthday to your child.

I don’t know or care when my friends’ children’s birthdays are. I also don’t care if they know or acknowledge my DD’s birthday. I suspect many, many, other parents feel the same as me. Who has the time or headspace for something so irrelevant?