Friend forgot my child's birthday

Your kid is your priority

That is where it stops

Your friend has no obligation to remember the day you had a kid
It doesn't make them a bad person or selfish they just don't prioritise your offspring and that's cool

We have friends who every Christmas and birthday my husband gives money to their 2 children and for the past 3 Christmases and birthdays (and on amd off over the past 11years) our child has got nothing. The mum has even said 'I have X's present but just not sure where I put it'
I suggested hubby stop buying for them but he won't as it's good friend. I find it very infuriating

You are a considerate and kind friend and be proud that you are like that personality, but unfortunately her personality is not the same and she is not as considerate - it is just a difference of personalities.
you expect the same kindness as you are giving but unfortunately there is no match in reality.
she is probably a good friend as you would not be friends if she was not- but her way of expressing her friendship may be different to your way.

my suggestion is that you lower your expectations of her, next time when her kid’s birthday arrives, don’t go to too much lengths to buy gifts - a nice text should be just enough and still considerate enough so you are still being polite and yourself albeit a bit less.

good luck and happy birthday to you kid :)

YABU. There’s only one of my friends who ever remembers my daughter’s birthday and that’s because their birthday is on the same day 😂 Other than that, no-one else does because it’s just not a big deal to them. I only remember my nephew’s because he was born on our wedding anniversary 🤷‍♀️ Her birthday is still special to you, no need for validation from others.

That reply was to you.

I don't think see the point in these type of replies. I'm very sorry for the things you've been through but people don't need to validate their " lesser " problems to you.

Exactly this. Don’t bother again.

So much horridness in this thread.

Happy Birthday to Battenberg Junior.

Just wow! If that’s all that is going on in your world that boils your piss, lucky you! My son was attacked and stabbed randomly recently, my husband passed away but god forbid, a friend (who has her own life and issues!) forgets my child’s birthday!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

I agree with you. I took have done the birthday thing for other people's children only to have mine forgotten. Now I stop as soon as they stop. Recently a branch of the family forgot my son's birthday - he's 22 but I still think a message wouldn't have killed them......x

You are being precious. Just take it as a sign of how she wants things and don’t get her kids anything either. Not in a bitter way.

I am so this friend.
I mean well, I have people in my thoughts but just do not have the capacity to remember and wish everyone a happy birthday. People are busy/have their own children/schedules/issues/problems to deal with.

Exactly this.

Having to reciprocate spending money on presents and cards for friends children is something I would happily be done with too.

Honestly, if your friend is anything like many women she is busy remembering the birthdays for everyone including her inlaws and dh's family as well as juggling all the other mental load for her family. If this isn't symptomatic of a wider disregard for you then cut her some slack. I have been the friend who forgot multiple times. Her lack of response might be because she's embarrassed....or your unreasonable anger came across in the tone of your message and she's now thinking 'Bloody he'll, Mrs B is being a bit precious"

Maybe she has a lot going on in her life!

I have been in your position.

You’re that friend that remembers every anniversary, every birthday. You’re the best friend that takes a huge interest into your friends life and wonders how they are celebrating occasions. You take an interest in their hobbies and their children and…

You don’t get the same back.

It’s upsetting and disappointing.

The thing is, and what I’ve learnt is that not everyone is the same as you. You’re not better than anyone else, you just have a different personality and a bigger memory. You’re a giver, you want to show you care constantly.

Your options are to continue being you and sending them cards, remembering them birthdays. Or you step back, give people the same that they give you so you feel less disappointed.

It isn’t personal, they don’t dislike your kids, they don’t not care, they just aren’t as invested or have the brain space with busy life going on x

Save your money and stop buying cards and gifts for random people in life. Focus on your family, they’re the important people around you.

Is this particularly important to you as may be your child doesn't have much extended family to make a fuss of them, @Mrsbattenburg?

My goodness your children aren't the second bloody coming, why should people remember their birthdays? If you remembered the birthdays of everyone in your family, extended family, friends and their families, you'd never have time to blink! Grow up and deflate your ego, and life will be much, much better.

It makes you so angry? Get a grip for goodness sakes or get a hobby.

I think it's sweet when friends remember my kids' birthdays, but I absolutely don't expect them to. And I always feel a pang of guilt when someone fairly random does, because I only remember other kids' birthdays when they're having a party!!

“Maybe I care to much”

Translation: I am a lovely caring woman. So much more caring than you.

It was very passive aggressive to bring up your son’s birthday a month after it happened to prompt her to say something. I wouldn’t reply mentioning a birthday from last month, it’s long gone.

I was working FT and would frequently forget my nieces birthdays (they lived nearly 200mile away and we weren't close to ILs anyway. We never got phone calls with updates.) It would often get mentioned later.

Lord Above....

Good grief OP - SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!