How to handle sports day this year?

That’s true but they can be very aware/self conscious about it every other day of the school year when they’re not as fast at arithmetic or their work looks different to their neighbours/friends or their reading book is clearly less ‘advance’. I’m not saying it’s not tough on sports day for some children, esp in front of a crowd of people, but it’s just one day. Some kids feel this type of anxiety about school every day. So it’s not always as simple as take them out for the day and the problem goes away. I’d rather find a solution that helped them take part in as many events as possible and support them through any disappointment.

My daughter is ND, hypermobile and dyspraxic. I forced her to sports day every year , big mistake!!! She has struggled massively and seriously with her mental health,her psych traced some of the origins back to her uncatered for struggles in PE and sports day as triggers. The lack of help with her ND was a big trigger too.

I think we need to stop with the building resilience thing. Kids that struggle are way more resilient than most. They do it every day. There is zero value in making life even harder.

I hated sports day as a child.
And more so when i had a child.
School plays etc i just found it boring so did my child..
Thank god them days are over.
Tbh my son was unwell on a few days of the year😉.

Same, on both points. Never heard of a multiple day sports day before. Sometimes different ones for different year groups, but then it would only be one day that needed to be avoided.

If this is something that's actually common though, it's an even better idea to keep DC off because the schools concerned really need to be made to change it.

I thinks it's very different for a kid to struggle in front of a huge group of parents/kids to a kid who's not good at maths. They don't have a crowd watching!
Try speaking to the teacher, they likely can help.

The kids who aren’t good at Maths don’t generally have to do it in front of the entire school, staff and hundreds of parents 🙄

One of my children just refuse to do it. They still want to go to school and will sit with the class but when it comes to the time of them standing up to run, she will just sit there. Wild horses wouldn't be able to move her. I'll make sure she's okay, give her a hug etc but I will not force her to take part

I've never heard of sports days instead of just a standard sports day. Thankfully, some secondary schools just have the children who want to do it, actually do it which works out better than attempting forced fun (which isn't fun at all).

Even if it was over 3 days, I'd allow mine to stay home if they wanted.

I would also keep mine off if they asked.
I hated sports day, one race still sticks in my mind (we had to wear our parents work uniform to run) I was 6, wearing size 10 boots. I cried. I felt mortified because I could barely walk let alone run.
I wish my mum let me have it off.
In my day they'd give out stickers up to 4th place (my kids school just get a standard sticker)
I didn't even get one, not even a certificate of taking part. It truly was excruciating.

Sports day at our secondary is huge and held at the local university but it’s for teens to volunteer. So the sporty ones race and the others watch and cheer them on. No one is forced to race.

Cats I like the sound of your mum!

Loved that I listened to Dd. She’s self
conscious and hated failing so visibly. We did lots of reading in the garden that day instead. She got a 9 for eng lit gcse and an a star eng lit a level so it all ended up ok! Plus is quite sporty but still hates athletics and always will.

Taking a child out of school is fine, when they're young, and it's only 1 day. What happens when the child starts secondary school, and the sports day is spread over several days?! You take him (and his brother out this year), then what about next year, the year after etc? My son is in Year 9, and his sports events are held over 3 days - usually Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, in June, not even towards the end of term in July!! You'd be better talking to the school, and asking them for help to manage sports day. He perhaps can pick a sport to take part in or help out on the day? You won't always be able to step-in, it's part and parcel of life having to do or participate in something you don't like/enjoy/find difficult. For the record, I'm a child who detested PE!!

I agree with exercise versus sports day.

Not winning in the sprint race on sports day in primary- ever- shouldn't put a kid off doing exercise and being active.

I never won an event at a sports day ever- but go to the gym and enjoy it.

It's horrendous for some children.
I would speak to the teacher, my DS is 99 centile, his balance and coordination is shocking, in previous sack races, he has fell at the start, not able to get back in the sack, he was 5ft 2 aged 9, cue, giggling
I opt out of certain sports.
Is there one or two that he enjoys
Dreading it this year.

I'd reframe it.

Ask them how they felt the race went. Focus on them and their race- without mentioning where they came in the race. I'd do this if they came first or last.

I do this with my kids. Especially when little. So they focused not on 'taking part' but 'doing their best'- just for them.

Eg 'in the middle of your event you really picked up the pace. How did you manage that energy burst?'

@Gloriia I got out of the parents race because I am pregnant but to be honest even if I wasn’t I’d have faked a limp.

They should give half days for sports days. Let those who want to compete do it. It doesn't build resilience at all for those who are crap at it, it's just a waste of everyone's time.

Could you speak to school and ask if they can be involved some other way? At DS school I notice some kids don't do any races at all and instead they cheer on their classmates. Some kids also help out with the refreshments, setting up the races, etc. I don't think any child is forced to do the sports if they don't want to, but they all take part in some way.

I'm in two minds about this tbh. I've had both a sporty go-getter, bags of confidence, good at most sports (ds, eldest, now 14) and a ND dd (8) who is prone to panic attacks - and last year had one before sports day. So I'm both sympathetic and acutely aware of the emotional impact things like this can have on a child's wellbeing.

With your youngest, op, can parents watch? Are there fun elements and team events or is it competitive every child for themselves? Ime infant school sports days usually consist of some round Robin team events, bouncy hoppers, beanbag throwing, welly wanging or whatever, followed by some 100m races.

When dd had her panic attack at the classroom door, I simply took her away from the classroom and explained to the teacher that she was present, but would likely sit it out until she was ready to participate. If that didn't happen, then she was there to cheer on her team mates, and if she did decide to participate then loads of praise for whatever limited involvement she had.

He panic attack and accompanying tummy ache subsided and she sat quietly with me watching. I made chatty conversation about it being her last sports day at infant school, so it was good she was taking part by cheering others on. Eventually, she saw a fun event she wanted to take part in (teddy on a parachute) and off she went. She returned to me again for a while, and then felt that she wanted to participate in the final 100m dash. She was proud of herself for overcoming her anxiety (providing her with a safety net and plan b was the game changer) and mentioned that as it was her final sports day at that school, she was pleased she wouldn't regret not taking part.

A lot of focus is put on building resilience, rightly or wrongly. The point though is that they do need to be supported to develop resilience where possible, with the right support in place. Because in life, we have to do things we don't want to, because opting out altogether isn't always either desirable or feasible. We begin learning this when we're very young. We don't need to throw our young children in at the deep end in order to improve their resilience (in fact doing so usually only achieves the opposite result). But i don't think it always has to be all or nothing - there's often a third way, which supports their development.

I'm already talking to dd's teachers about how we can approach sports day this year, so that dd can be supported to take part in some way.

My son has dyspraxia and is very uncoordinated. I would never keep him off for sports day. I know that might sound harsh but children these days have few real opportunities to build resilience.

When he was in year 1 and 2 he would get really upset. We praised his effort and practised running etc on the weekends leading up to it to build his confidence. Has it made him love athletics? No. But he gets on with it and accepts that everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

They don't have to stand up in front of a class full of kids and be humiliated though do they? Sitting at a desk getting all the answers wrong isn't the same as coming last in every race in sports day.

And right on cue, a terrible analogy about maths!

They also don't have to do them in front of multiple year groups plus parents, in a manner that makes their ranking immediately obvious, and sometimes subjected to sympathy cheers from people who've recognised that they're not very good and imagine themselves to be helping.

Also, people absolutely get to forego art exams. Why on earth would you choose that as an example? At least go with a subject that's compulsory when trying to make an argument that's been refuted half a dozen times already!

Totally agree. Sports days are an absolute waste of time and many kids hate it. Just skive and do something enjoyable, life is too short to put them through this crap.

A lot of kids feel the same way about maths, or writing essays, or art, but they don’t get to sit those lessons out, or forgo the exams.