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Original poster

My husband doesn’t want sex ever

35 replies

Whattodonowthenfucker · 06/05/2025 21:48

Not sure where we go from here. Husband has no libido. He’s 52 and I’m 55 (with a healthy sex drive). He’s been like this for a few years. He’s trying with testosterone pills. It’s making no difference. What annoys me is that I’ve told him I would be ok with 10 mins of vibrator action once a week but he never does it. We’ve had 2 fumbles this year that lasted 10 mins, and no piv involved. If you saw him in a pub you’d never believe it: he is tall dark and handsome, you’d never guess he’s shit in the sheets. Wtf do I do?

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 11/05/2025 14:10

If he’s not feeling it, he’s not feeling it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Use the vibrator yourself? No one has a right to sex.

NHSLabRat · 11/05/2025 14:07

Being thrown on the bed and shagged sounds perfectly reasonable to me!
Would you prefer some tongue action just to break the ice? 👍

LucyLou0527 · 06/05/2025 22:04

If you are in a good position financially I would recommend private testosterone therapy, I work for a clinic and the medication truly changes men’s lives.

my husband used to take steroids and I couldn’t get him off me😂

doodahdayy · 06/05/2025 22:04

It sounds awful but it seems you either have to put up with or leave. He’s clearly not interested in having sex.

Plmnki · 06/05/2025 22:01

that sounds awful and it doesn’t seem like the comms between you are great.

it’s not just sex, it’s the lack of intimacy and contact. Not good.

is there a chance he is either gay or hiding a hefty porn addiction?

there’s a few choices here: you can drive a whole reset of the relationship comms (which may reveal unpleasant info, leading to divorce, or it may resolve things in an ideal world).

or you could choose to divorce without pushing for a resolution first

or you could choose to stay married, leave things as they are, and have other relationships for fulfillmemt

or do nothing and leave things as is (and you take the hit on how this makes you feel)

so, ok, not grest, but you do have choices.

best of luck and sympathy. It would be lousy for self esteem to be in this situation.

Original poster
Whattodonowthenfucker · 06/05/2025 21:58

I just want to be thrown onto the bed and shagged. I’m so sad

OP posts:
SoMauveMonty · 06/05/2025 21:58

How does he feel about it? You said he's been like this for a few years, how did it come about? A gradual tapering off, or a more sudden stop? Does he want to have sex, or is ok with not having it? Is he embarrassed and not comfortable about seeking help?
Bit of a personal q - does he masturbate? Just wondering if it's intimacy he's struggling with rather than actual sex.

Bgbf · 06/05/2025 21:52

I'd divorce.

Thelnebriati · 06/05/2025 21:51

Ask him to go to the GP, have a full work up to see if there's an underlying health issue, and book you both in for couples counselling.
Also have therapy for yourself to decide what you want to do if he refuses, or the problem can't be fixed.

Picklechicken · 06/05/2025 21:50

Well you can’t and shouldn’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do - and he clearly doesn’t want to do anything at all sexually- so you either put up with it or leave. That’s it really.