It’s a LOTR one. I feel so upset over my DHs comment about elves.

@UnhappyHobbit All kidding aside, I can see why you were hurt. I don't think your DH meant anything by it, but it was a twatish thing to say when he calls you "his hobbit". It might be time to push aside the LOTR nicknames/fantasies and move on to new pastures. Captain America perhaps? Batman? D&D?

Mine was Tom Selleck/Magnum P.I. I told my DH I would write and call often if Tom ever rocked up to my door, especially in that red Maserati. Then DH could be "my side piece". LOL!

My DH, on the other hand, said he couldn't want anyone but the perfect person he already has. {cough-cough-bullshite-cough-cough) Yeah, he's a bit of a liar, but I love him💖 anyway. He just provides me with a few 🐮💩🏴to toss occasionally.

I am going to need to request that you put a warning on your posts; that they may contain a choking hazard from laughing. I quite near thought I was going to die eating my rice cake while reading your post.

I am telling Sean Astin (Samwise)!

As someone whose "official" height is 5'2", I'm with you! 😁

🙀 Begone, foul demon!

🤣 This amused me far too much.

"Why would you want to pull an elf? Ethereal bloodless beauty, lots of singing, floaty clothes, Arts and Crafts styling."

My thought too. Don't they just waft about looking in mirrors and talking about international politics but not actually doing anything? Whereas hobbits have cracking parties with delicious food and gallons of homebrew, then go off and save the world when it needs doing (comprising 4 out of 9 of the dream team cf 1/9 for the elves) then come home and celebrate with more socialising, food, booze and a roll in the hay? Hobbits all the way. (although my favourite character from the book was Faramir and I definitely would..Éowyn took ages to cop herself on.).

But the DP wasn't talking about his mate's girlfriend. It was the mate who compared his girlfriend to an elf, then the others started chatting about banging elves.

Given this daft conversation was in earshot of OP, which they all would have known, I imagine the DP was blindsided by being confronted about it hours later.

My friends and I have conversations like this—not so much LOTR, but it could be Gladiators, Rivals, Marvel films, anything. If my husband later demanded to know why I'm not with Danny Dyer if I like thick moustaches and full heads of hair so much, I'd be baffled.

This pet name came about because OP is short. Her DP is not turned on by hobbits—I don't think this is controversial.

OP is basically asking "AIBU to think my DP should have pretended he wants to bang hobbits, to soothe my ego?". Maybe he's right, and she has turned this nickname into a bit of an identity.

I can imagine the AIBU if he had said he's sexually attracted to hobbits—"I thought it was his pet name for me because I'm short, but it turns out he actually thinks I look like a hobbit and wishes I had big, hairy feet!"

I like tall handsome men, my dh is neither but I fell in love with him nonetheless. It wouldn't be nice if he overheard me say so but I think you are over reacting and the whole dwarf, elf hobbit stuff sounds like nonsense to me. BTW I am 5 3 and have always considered myself small, everyone I know irl is taller than me.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Walk through any secondary school (I'm including all girls' ones in this) and you'll find that you're about the height of the average year 8 girl and are towered over by the vast majority of Y9-13s.

We will become the little old ladies.

Why would you want to pull an elf? Ethereal bloodless beauty, lots of singing, floaty clothes, Arts and Crafts styling.

Rosie Cotton the buxom barmaid though - you knew Sam would end up having more fun in the sack than Aragon, and with minimal poetry

Also, he isn't offended about me being attracted to other people and I'm not offended about him being attracted to others either

I don't know, I'm incredibly attracted to my partner but I'm also attracted to people who look nothing like him (both men and women). I'm attracted to his looks of course but also attracted to his personality and how he treats me. Therefore making him the most attractive person I can think of!

The username finished me off😂

I think there's a bit of a difference for sveral reasons

firstly because presumably when you are chatting about good looking celebritiesyou aren't linking them to real people, whereas here the "celebrities" (elves) were only brought into the conversation in the first place because they were comparing (objectifying) a real woman as one

secondly you probably wouldn't say anything as blatant as
"It's every women's dream to shag Tom hardy" when your partner was in earshot

Finally you wouldn't double down if someone then said something about "ah but don't you like bald rugby players too" and reply "ew no, nobody likes an egg head!"

Tbh I would understand if as some posters have suggested, the DH explained "oh I was just talking about actual hobbits, I didn't even make the link to you!" Or "but youre not a real hobbit!" and apologised. It's still a bit grim to categorise women like that but everyone says stupid things sometimes. It's the fact he didnt give that excuse, suggesting he did mean it, and, worse then turned it back on her saying it's all her fault for playing along with a nickname he gave her, essentially saying she's responsible for him insulting her!

Which if you take away all the LOTR stuff that so many posters can't seem to see past, is just not a very nice way of talking about your wife. (And textbook gaslighting).

If they had just been playing random hypothetical like "would you rather....drive a Delorean or the tardis/be a chaser or a seeker/date an elf or a hobbit" and OP got upset I would probably agree she was being a bit too sensitive (although unlike some people on here I understand that feelings about our looks and bodies aren't always strictly rational so still wouldn't have mocked her for it).

But with his reaction the DH made it needlessly personal and just mean.

You sound like a strange bunch. Who talks about pulling elves? I'm an avid LOTR fan but this is too much.

Thank you! I'm 5"3 and was wondering if I too am a hobbit.

This is how I feel too - so odd. OP does sound like being a ‘hobbit’ is part of your personality, which is weird to be honest

I’d be making a point of boxing it all up right in front of him, and when he asks if you’re chucking out all of your LOTR stuff, say, “Yeah, including you if you don’t a) grow up and b) stop objectifying and categorising women like some kind of tragic Tolkien-themed sorting hat.”

Can’t stand men like this. To be honest, if he’s a bloody LOTR geek, you’d think he’d be on his knees in gratitude to even have a girlfriend - they usually don’t.

Not to try and excuse what he said @UnhappyHobbit , as it was a spectacularly stupid and clumsy thing to say, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't find you attractive, or doesn't love you for who you are.

My "type" is tall leggy pale redheads. All my celebrity crushes growing up were tall leggy redheads. DP on the other hand is short, blonde, and in her own words, "mostly torso". In fact, I have never been out with a redhead in my life

Does that mean I don't find DP attractive? Does it mean that I wish DP was taller, or had different colour hair? No, because my actual type (and most mens types) is "person I'm attracted to". If DP was taller, then she wouldn't be DP, wouldn't be the woman I fell for. Tall, leggy, redhead, are all physical attributes. You don't fall for an attribute, you fall for the complete package, and often that package doesn't contain the physical attribute you think you want most.

To use a food metaphor - I love pork. If you asked me what my favourite meat is, I'd go with pork. The smell of bacon cooking is almost a religious experience for me. And yet, most of my favourite meals have nothing to do with bacon. I would never put bacon in a thai curry, or a chilli con carne, or a shephards pie. Because bacon does not work with that meal. That ingredient does not work with that recipe. And if I'm only going to eat one meal for the rest of my life, I'm going to choose something with a rich flavour palate, that I can enjoy over and over again.

Do I like red hair? Would I prefer to spend the rest of my life with someone with red hair who I share nothing in common with, or DP? I'd choose DP over the bacon sarnie every single time.

Men discussing the relative attractiveness or otherwise of their girlfriends is disrespectful and unappealing and will always lead to problems when overheard. It also applies the other way round.

That said, adults framing these things in the terms of a fantasy universe adds a layer of ridiculousness.

its like the debate on the big bang theory with teaching string theory vs the other theory

This is a really good post, sifts out the lotr stuff which will act as a red flag to a bull with some of the nastier replies. I’d probably be a bit stung by that too op, there wasn’t any need!!

Setting aside the inappropriateness of referring to short people as elves/dwarves etc….

All the snarky comments about it being childish and ridiculous shows how MN just can’t deal with people who are different and enjoy different things. Being obsessed with LOTR as an adult is not childish, no different to a guy who is obsessed about following a bunch of guys who wear the same colours and kick a ball about to the point they will cry if their guys score fewer points than the other guys, and start fights because the other guys’ supporters are in the pub with them. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it is childish.

As many here seem incapable of looking past it, think about it this way. You’re blonde and you overhear your husband saying “oh I hate blondes, they’re so dumb” Or, you’ve overweight and you hear him saying “I hate fat people, they’re so lazy” etc. You all happy with that? You wouldn’t take it personally?

@UnhappyHobbitYou are right to be annoyed, he needs to explain himself.