DH is a loving man and husband who in his way does a lot for us. I’m not looking for either LTBs or accusations of being a martyr here, I’m genuinely just interested in how many other women are in the same position.
We have two children who are four and twenty months. As our second approaches two I’m getting a bit restless and wanting a bit of me time. I know it’s not going to be a lot but as much as I love them I’m literally either at work (three days a week) or have a child with me.
One of the problems is I really don’t like leaving them with DH. He has a tendency to focus on something to the point of obsessiveness, and when he does so everything else sort of ceases to exist so he doesn’t notice them needing something. An example, I had a hairdresser appointment Saturday morning, it was the first one since January, he forgot to give them drinks. Apparently he couldn’t find their water bottles. But both can drink from a cup or he could have bought water bottles with sports caps. He just doesn’t think.
Screen time - I have definitely had days when we’ve gone over the recommended daily amount but back to back peppa pig or complete garbage on YouTube (once found DS watching some absolute gibberish where I’m not even sure it was any language!) with trucks and diggers! He gives them his phone as well which I hate and it has started with me - asking for my phone if we have to wait a few minutes (I say no) but that’s where it’s come from.
The house - I do obviously get young children make a mess but honestly come back to the house looking like every charity shop in town has been ransacked with toys and puzzle pieces hopelessly mixed up and random stuff like Cushions strewn around the house and just crap everywhere.
And he placates them with snacks (another thing I hate) I wouldn’t mind if vaguely healthy but it’s quavers, biscuits, anything that shuts them up.
He is lazy but he parents fine when I’m kind of there to steer the ship. Without me it drifts into an ocean of snacks, screen time, mess and disarray.