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AIBU?

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Original poster

Screaming autistic toddler

32 replies

Mamabear0202 · 06/05/2025 12:12

My 2 YO screams, all the time. It’s like an “AAAHHHH”. He screams when he’s happy, sad, indifferent, excited, tired, going to bed, eating food, walking, sitting, literally any thing he does he will scream.

He is, quite obviously to me, on the spectrum. He walks on his tip toes, speech delay (can’t communicate what’s wrong, doesn’t speak), just makes noises. He has sensory issues. Doesn’t respond to his name. Doesn’t gesture, point etc. repetitively flaps his hands. The list is endless but he’s been refused to be diagnosed (twice) due to age.

Anyway, my point being, what can I do? Why is he screaming? What can I do to HELP him? All I want is to help understand why he’s over stimulated and how I can help the situation.

Do I tell him to stop screaming? Allow the screaming? AIBU? I try and distract him when he does it but it doesn’t work.

Looking for some advice, please. I just want to help support my little boy as much as I can. I’m sure his brain must be a little over whelmed.

OP posts:
Peanutlicious · 06/05/2025 12:24

I would set up your routine and environment as if he had autism: calm, uncluttered home, unhurried days, avoid crowded places, choose soft clothes. My autistic son has always hated the traditional kids' activities, such as soft play, farms, busy parks, singing groups etc. He likes to be in nature, away from people, but not for too long so he can frequently come home and regulate in a cool, calm room.

My son would meltdown when it was all too much but he couldn't communicate that to me.

You sort of learn to pre-empt their needs. My son was soooo much happier when we sent more time at home and saw fewer people. He needed very low expectations of what he could cope with, so we adjusted life accordingly (as best as we could with other children etc)

Enamelerosion · 06/05/2025 12:20

I know this isn't what you asked but is DC in childcare? A referral from his childcare setting should help push for an assessment.

SalmonWellington · 06/05/2025 12:19

The SN boards will have more expertise.

Worth looking at this too: www.locala.org.uk/services/sensory-occupational-therapy-service/information-for-schools/kirklees-sensory-toolkit

sunshineandrain82 · 06/05/2025 12:19

The screaming is communication.

my youngest is nonverbal and was a screamer. She was only screaming because she wanted to communicate something to us and that’s how she could at the time.
Till we gave her a means to communicate. PECS, Makaton. We even downloaded Twinkl symbols and created our own little device so she could click on pictures that said the words of what she wanted.

IncompleteSenten · 06/05/2025 12:18

Also, trying to distract him is simply adding to his sensory overwhelm. You need to reduce it.

IncompleteSenten · 06/05/2025 12:17

Don't tell him to stop screaming. It won't help.

Try reducing his sensory input. A dark, quiet room for example. Or a weighted blanket. Check his clothes to get rid of things like labels. See if the textures are too much for him, turn socks inside out or get seemless ones, etc.

Check whether you can access the early years team and ask for advice.

My oldest had his diagnosis at 2 and a half so your son should at least be being assessed or on a waiting list.

Contact the nas for their advice.

1SillySossij · 06/05/2025 12:15

I don't know what the questions is to answer yabu or yanbu!

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