To wish someone had acknowledged our anniversary?

For a first anniversary, I would anticipate close family to acknowledge the date. I sent flowers to my sister for her first anniversary (and also said that I wasn’t going to do anything again until her tenth!) and I try to remember to acknowledge close friends first anniversaries with a text message, but wouldn’t do anything after a year unless they have a party and then of course I’d bring a card and gift.

Happy Anniversary!

I remember all my family’s anniversaries. I find it odd that so many others don’t. I think your feelings are valid OP.

I empathise, OP. I would feel sad too, especially as you do it for others. The thing is, though, people are busy and not everyone is as kind or thoughtful, unfortunately. I struggle with this sometimes - the fact that I will do kind things but often don’t receive the same effort or thought back. I’m trying to learn not to expect things from others just because I would do it. It’s a journey for sure! Still, happy first anniversary!! Hope you both had a lovely time. ☺️

In your position I would expect texts or cards off both sets of parents and all bridesmaids and your closest friends.

I would know the wedding dates of all my close friends and family.

I don't remember anyone else's anniversaries, only my own.

I can just about keep up with birthdays, I think anniversaries would tip me over the edge!

I wouldn't take it personally 😊

The only wedding anniversary that I make the effort to remember is my parents, so I would never expect people to remember mine, including my silver anniversary that just passed. Keeping track of birthdays is enough for me, I am not willing to keep track of anniversaries too.

Id say that despite you saying it’s not this is very much about the effort you put in that doesn’t get reciprocated.and that’s fine of course but don’t be a martyr . People don’t like you more because of that stuff they like you for you.

having said that , it irks me that my parents never acknowledged ours and that’s despite me as a child getting absolutely bollocked one year by my dad for not “getting your mother an anniversary card”. They had a horrible marriage as well hated each other.

There's so many people in our lives it's difficult to remember everyone's anniversaries. One of my sil is date mad and if you don't acknowledge all their special occasions they actually give you the cold shoulder. It gets very tiring trying to remember the shit ton of things in my own home never mind other people's lives.

You need to change your mindset on this now to avoid further disappointment going forward. People have enough crap going on in their own lives to remember other peoples milestones. If you have children, don't expect lots of interest in your pregnancy/baby either. These things are rightfully front and centre of your world but they aren't for everyone else and that is absolutely fine.

1st? Get back to me when it's your 25th and I might summon up a congratulations 😂

Yeah I agree with the others.
With respect OP, no one cares about your anniversary except you and your DH. There are enough birthdays to remember without trying to remember when everyone got married as well.

our 41 year old son would not have a clue when we got married and only ever knows it if my husband puts it on social media.

Love Mumsnet for a reminder of how different people are.

Genuinely surprised how many people don’t make an effort to remember their own anniversary and wouldn’t dream of sending a message/text to their child on a first anniversary.

I am not an overly emotional person but these are such special days to remember.

It's rare it's a 100% of people saying AIBU!

I agree, anniversaries are for the couple, nobody else. My mum sent DW and I are card on our first anniversary which was very kind. But she hasn't since and I wouldn't expect her to.

I've never texted or sent gifts for anyone's anniversary, don't understand why I would.
At most I'd click 'love' on a post on social media if someone had a milestone anniversary.

Like a PP said, being in a relationship is not an achievement.

Nobody validated me today
Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

I wouldn't expect others to remember or acknowledge a wedding anniversary that isn't their own unless it's a close family member (parent/in laws etc) milestone anniversary of 25/50 years for example. Doesn't mean people don't care but honestly it's not a thing on other people's radar. Don't think myself or DP have ever had someone acknowledge our anniversary and we'll be celebrating 4 years married shortly.

The only people who remember ours is 1) DM who has a diary with everyone's birthday and anniversary 2) our DC who love any reason to celebrate. We're having a silver wedding anniversary this year though so people will be forced to remember when they get their invite.

I always remember family and best friends anniversaries. A quick text or a card.

I wouldn't take it personally. I adore my in-laws and they are the only people I know that get family members gifts on anniversaries. I used to get hacked off there was the expectation we had to get them money on their anniversary when it's their anniversary to celebrate not ours but that has died down now (big ones aside).

It wouldn't occur to me that other people should remember or celebrate our anniversary. I struggle to remember ours half the time, don't even think we did cards this year!

I think you're being a little butt hurt over this.

If you want people to remember and send messages, just put up a happy anniversary to us on Facebook or social media of choice and you'll find people in droves will comment.

But really in the end, none of this matters at all. Your anniversary is for you two alone.

I wouldn't expect people to remember when I got with my partner and we've been together 19 years this year.

We nearly always forget even our own anniversary (33 years in August) and certainly wouldn't have the faintest idea when those of other people are, including family ones.

My parents were the same. My in-laws did bother with theirs sometimes but not massively either of

So, I think you need to lower your expectations. Why are you marking other people's anniversaries? Stop that. It probably won't even be noticed.

Stop marking other peoples anniversaries.

I have a couple of friends who do that and it just makes me feel guilty for not having a clue when theirs is. It's hard enough to remember birthdays.

20 odd years on there's one friend (no family) who sends a card every year, and it's not even someone we are particularly close to. I just find it a bit strange, if I'm honest.