To wish someone had acknowledged our anniversary?

Unless it’s something like a 50th anniversary and the couple is throwing a party, I would not expect anyone else to acknowledge an anniversary.

I would not dream of wishing someone happy anniversary - its nothing to do with me.

To be honest, I wouldn’t expect someone else to remember or care when my anniversary was. DH and I exchange cards, and sometimes have a meal out. I can’t remember the anniversaries of any of my friends or relatives.

I am a similar type of person as you, I remember dates really well and always acknowledge anniversaries, birthday’s, children’s birthdays etc… and do not always get it back in return and have definitely been disappointed in the past.

I think realising that not everyone is the same as you in acknowledging events rather than taking it personal is the route to go. I doubt that people don’t care about you or your husband, it’s more people forget and have busy lives.

I have also stepped back myself of always being the person interested in others lives when I do not always get the same back. It helps myself feel more free and less disappointed in others.

I would have zero idea of when any of my family or friends anniversaries are. Had no idea it was ‘a thing’. If someone sent me a photo thinking they were passively aggressively letting me know, I’d honestly think they had accidentally pressed send to me instead of each other and would reply accordingly thinking I should let them know so the photo gets to the other spouse🤣.

It’s your anniversary
it’s a non event / normal day to others

In my family, we always acknowledge wedding anniversaries. I buy a card and present for my auntie and uncle every year and my mother would kill me if I didn't do her and my dad's! I'm not married, but if I was, I would definitely expect my family to treat me the same I do them. I wouldn't expect anything from friends though, as I don't do any of their anniversaries.

I don’t remember any anniversaries except one friend.

And that’s because she married on my birthday.

I can only just about remember important birthdays, never mind their anniversaries.

I understand you might feel a bit put out if you always remember other peoples but I don’t think that’s the norm. I couldn’t even tell you when my own mum and dads anniversary is.

then don't allow the double standard! Stop acknowledging them.

I'd send a card for a close relative's first anniversary & given the way your family behave YANBU.
I'd stop sending them cards tbh & what a cheek to tell you it's your job to remind others!
I had my 25th anniversary a few years ago & it was lovely to have a few cards.
I wouldn't send or expect anything between 1st & 25th though!

There would be plenty of comments made if myself or DH didn’t acknowledge an event within our families - anniversaries included.

Stop all of that! No more cards and presents.

Message in the family chats that you were disappointed at lack of message.

That way they can’t moan when you stop acknowledging theirs.

Reading your others posts then it seems that it is a wider issue of you feeling undervalued in the family and you are doing too much heavy emotional lifting.

I agree with @riverislandjeans about forgetting and saying 'Oh i assumed we aren't doing that now'. But family dynamics are hard. Reflect on those dynamics and what is not working out for you. I have recently had to do something similar with a friend of DHs. But it took about 20 years of me being irritated and annoyed before i put my foot down. I hope it does not take you that long!

You should not be disappointed by this, no one has the responsibility to remember your wedding anniversary other than the two people who got married. Time to lower your expectations.

well 'forget' the next one for any family members and when they ask why say you didn't wish us happy anniversary or send a card so I presumed we weren't doing them anymore 💁

Agree with most. Once the wedding is over life goes on and hopefully many years of happy marriage. It is something for the two of you to celebrate, not for others to write in their diaries and note annually.

My own parents don't remember our wedding date. And tbf the only real reason I remember theirs is because i was born on their third wedding anniversary so it's my birthday too!

I don’t think it is a thing. For my children i would write it down and send them and their wives a text but even a card would seem over the top. A lot of couples don’t even get each other a card so it would just highlight that if they started getting cards from other people.
I think a couples anniversary is by the nature of it for them and only them. I think it would be very strange is a friend expected me to remember their anniversary.
I do have a date in my diary to remember the anniversary of the day my friends partner died because I will reach out and offer support on that day. But for a wedding anniversary I don’t think it’s for other people to be involved in remembering it.

Anniversaries, even when they aren’t your own, obviously mean a lot more to you than they do to most other people. Beware of becoming an anniversaryzilla.

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Nobody is going to remember your anniverssary, whether it's your 1st anniverssary or 10th, because it's not an event that's relevant or interesting for anybody but yourself and your husband.

YABU. Your spouse should remember tho. It’s between you two, nobody else.

DHs family get uppity when we don’t send a card for their anniversary but it’s none of our business.

When will people realise that marriages are about the TWO of you, not everyone else. Weddings are just big show off occasions, and then we all have to remember to congratulate you on having a wedding every year for the rest of our lives? Nah. Mark your anniversary between you.

How are you expected too? You choose to don't you, if you are expected to then stop

It's hard enough to remember all the significant dates in my own household. No chance of me remembering anyone else's anniversary.
Whilst it's nice enough that you remember others anniversaries, it isn't really fair to expect reciprocity. It wouldn't even occur to me that I should acknowledge another couple's anniversary and I'd think it a bit odd if someone did mine.

I don't want people to remember ours it is for dh and I no one else

Other people’s anniversaries are not something you’re ‘supposed’ to remember or celebrate. It’s not like a birthday. Just because you pass on your congratulations to others on their anniversaries doesn’t mean that you can expect them to do the same.