To wish someone had acknowledged our anniversary?

I should add that I don’t include the absolute stonkers - 50, 60, even 70 years, god willing. They are really cause for celebration with the family at least.

I completely forgot my own anniversary one year never mind anyone else’s.

If I attended the full day wedding, I always send anniversary cards.

For a first anniversary I don't think it's unreasonable to expect at least one of your parents/siblings/best friend /bridesmaids /best man to remember and text happy anniversary or send a card.
Although after the first anniversary that you would be unreasonable to expect it.
I guess it shows that weddings are really only important to bride and groom regardless of size or cost.
Happy Anniversary!

Just read your update OP..
Its clear its not just the anniversary that's bothering you, but the inequality of treatment. You are expected to make the running for them, take responsibility (and the reprimands) for other siblings remembering people's birthdays.

I know how you feel. I once had a relative calling to chew me out at length that their DC's birthday card was a two days late ( due to post not to me!) My apology wasn't accepted.. I was amazed they could find enough verbal fuel to go on about it. The irony was that they had been 5 MONTHs late with my DC's card, but this didn't bother them in the slightest. We used to send cards and then give a present on meeting up... they didn't bother with a present either saying "I never know what to get boys". After that I decided to bother a lot less. It's easier with bank transfers and texts.. so that's what they all do now. Although one recently said... I can't see the point in just exchanging cash, it cancels out.. so that's the end of that. Another family member wanted to keep up the tradition of exchanging gifts so we do.

I think you need to step back a bit from doing all the running, acknowledge those who bother and do less for those who don't since they are signalling they don't care about such things anyway and focus on your new DH and people who are really present in your life. Accept that not everyone is card orientated but there are people who will turn up for you.

Also, plan something lovely for you and your DH to celebrate. It sounded like a lovely wedding. Congrats.

I don’t know anyone’s wedding anniversary bar my own. I don’t know my parents anniversary or even my best mates and I went to her wedding.

Sorry you’re feeling sad about this op. It means a lot to you. Unless I get a reminder on Social Media I don’t tend to remember other people’s anniversaries. Actually thinking about it, a few years ago my husband and I forgot our own! I think it was 7pm before we remembered! Not a reflection on our marriage, just an oversight. Happy anniversary to you anyway.

Other people's anniversaries aren't on my radar at all. I'd probably send a card to a friend or relative for a diamond wedding or something huge like that, but one year is really only important to the couple. Why would you want validation from others? Seems strange to me

Same - one year it was fruit and we gave my daughter and sil a giant inflatable banana and a basket of fruit, leather one a leather book cover, cotton, a Christmas table cloth etc. We did this for 20 years! The main anniversary, Silver, Gold etc certainly get recognised and celebrated, afternoon tea, day out, weekend away, family dinner, special holiday, flowers, cake. Really surprised at the number of posters who don’t bother.

Need reminding of my own anniversary half the time so be blown if I remember anyone elses

Outside of a 50th anniversary where a party might take place, I can't imagine wishing anyone a happy anniversary. It's really just for the couple.

Op you already have children and married now, I think you’re being a bit childish. The day is over for everyone and it only means something to you. Also no one is forcing you to send wishes if that is how you feel.

no, her husband did

i dont think i would remember someone else anniversary. Growing up we (Siblings) always celebrated my parents anniversary (Held parties for them, flowers, hoildays etc) and they did nothing to celebrate. Now I find that odd. Its for the couple to remember and celebrate only.

I don’t think anyone has to acknowledge anyone else’s wedding anniversary unless they’re invited to a party for it.

Its our 20th anniversary today and for once DH and I did mention it this morning “has it really been 20 years?, where has the time gone?” That kind of thing, it just doesn’t seem that important. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to care, even if it was our first and they’d been at the wedding.

I won’t say you are being unreasonable as we’re all entitled to feel differently but I do think it might be best to realise that other people don’t usually care about anyone else’s milestone events and just celebrate together, or throw a party if you want recognition.

I dont think you are being unreasonable - I would be upset if my parent or sibling didnt acknowledge my first wedding anniversary, even just a text. Likewise maybe maid of honour - "wow a year!" or something. First year only really then life moves on.

I dont think its "weird" or "self involved" - wrong place to ask OP x

Really? You actually did that? "Slightly" passive aggressive? . If you always acknowledge their anniversaries, then how do you know that they would "let you know" if you forgot? I would honestly just get on with your life and wait until something worth worrying about happens.

Well from now I would stop acknowledging theirs. You now have the perfect comeback if they moan.

God I barely remember my own, it’s definitely not something anyone else cares about.

You sound like a thoughtful person op. With such a small wedding you would think some of those involved may have remembered. My older family members would definitely send cards. I however do not, life is so busy and equally do not expect cards either.

This is a good reminder for anyone stressing about who to invite to your wedding and paying silly amounts per head. Don't bother they wont even remember to wish you happy anniversary.

Nope. It's not a thing..I love sending cards but not anniversaries it's too difficult to maintain all those dates. We got married on a really memorable date and no one has ever remembered. Don't worry about it.

I think it depends on whatever the norm is in your respective families.

In my family, anniversaries are just for the married couple unless it's their gold/silver/diamond wedding in which case there might be a bigger celebration. DP's family always send cards to each other for anniversaries.

I couldn’t tell you anyone’s anniversary except my own. Tie only way most people do is probably things like Facebook memories, I hate to break it to you but once the wedding is done it’s not really relevant for anyone else.

I don’t remember anybody’s anniversary. It’s a total non event. I’m rubbish at birthdays too.