to be really mad at my BF ?

It’s not even a relationship Casual text/ phone friend
Don’t waste any more time on this
Look for someone available who you can actually get to know in person
Did you meet online? If so, you don’t even know if he’s who he says he is.

Ohh I see 🤣🤣. I never would have got there

He's shagging someone else

What on earth does this mean?

OP, relationships that are healthy are just not this hard.

A good relationship, whether long distance or a neighbour, doesn't leave you feeling neglected, ignored or dismissed.

This relationship has you feeling all of those negative emotions. It's eating away at you that he's either lost interest or he's using you while cheating with another woman.

This relationship is simply not healthy. It's not equal. It's not going anywhere good.

You need to judge him on his actions, not his words.

His actions are shit.

Cut him loose and start raising your relationship acceptable standards, because to say that he doesn't meet the lowest bar imaginable is being kind...

I didn't read every reply to your post because, well, it's a lot. But let me tell you exactly what happened.

He was alone for so long that he decided to see what else was out there. That probably began a little time before he stopped texting every day.

The girl you heard, was most likely someone he was chatting up. Now he's not texting you much at all? He's moving on but not brave enough to tell you.

Men have a very efficient but cowardly way of ending a relationship sometimes, they just walk away. Women, almost always, require closure, an explanation. Men don't really need explanation or closure. We just go.

I'm sorry if you've become hurt and confused by this, but lean into this and become smarter. These situations make you stronger and more capable.

I've had more interaction with my grandad than you've had with you ldr, @Alyssa80 .
And he died in 1979

At very least, he's cooled. Not worth the worry, time and effort. Throw him down the memory hole.

"He's supposed to visit me in June (already went through the visa process, booked his flights etc"

I would be telling him to cancel that. Where does he live? It sounds like he is after a British passport or entry to the UK.

A few have asked where you are based and where he is. Can you fill us in, so the situation is a bit more clear? Anyway, I think you know you should not be naive... He's using you for a visa, and a free place to stay/

WHY do people settle for this shite?!
The "we" part sets me off!! I would guarantee it's him.. he has placed this on you.. I bet he goes to you.. he decides what's what and when is when!! The gaslighting you into thinking it's an equal decision is off the scale!

Open your eyes and rise your standards! This is NOT a relationship.. it's a you are a bit on the side!!

Oh dear he's using you for a passport..
Someone else may have come along.
Don't bother about him any more.
As much as your hurting you'll find someone who genuinely cares for you.

With 8 billion people on the planet, you're wasting your time with this one? You deserve better.

Have you ever met in person ?

Long distance never works unless you've been together a while and it's not apart for too long. He is cheating on you.

Yeah, sorry I meant "I'm interested to know if he WANTS a visa to live here"

If he needs a visa to visit then he would need a visa to live here.

You are wasting your time.
Do not allow him come and use you for a months holidays.

Please stop wasting your life over a man that's clearly using you. You can do so much better (it would be difficult to do worse, let's face it!!)

He's not truthful.

Tell him that you've cancelled his visa. See what he says and does then.

You're wasting your life on this.

Definitely married. Textbook “I can only contact you on certain days or at a certain frequency” and if you even attempt to query it, no matter how politely, you get it spun round onto you immediately and gaslit into believing you are the problem and are being possessive/nagging so that you end up not daring to pester him. Heard it alllllll before.

Has he asked you for money at all?

i could’ve written this post a few years back. I was in a similar position in a LDR. I would text and get a reply 3 days later. When I raised it, he would throw it back on me saying I was trying to change him. It hurt me every time. Why the hell I put up with it for so long I don’t know. Your bf is clearly showing you what little respect he has for you. He won’t change. If he can’t be bothered to make the effort now, he never will and what will he be like to live with. I’m sorry OP but this isn’t worth it, don’t put up with it any longer

I was in a LDR which I found hard. I hated speaking via phone but we text alot and he moved to my country within a few months and we're still happily together 15 years and married 9.

But you have to be able to trust (part of my struggle for reasons that had nothing to do with my DH) him and have the communication otherwise is it even a relationship? You say he stopped calling but he's continuing with texts etc and you need more. You're worried about the woman you heard and the fact he's being defensive would set me on high alert.

If you don't want to let go and can maybe look past these things, try see what happens in June, talk more of the future and what's going to happen and then make a plan for yourself from there. The only person you owe anything to is yourself and if he isn't making you happy then you don't have to stay with him.