New guy I’m seeing had a fling with someone much younger

I had a fling with a 21 year-old last summer at the age of 34, was absolutely fantastic. ☺️ I certainly didn’t feel motherly towards him!

To me, that last bit is key. There's a bit of a creepy dynamic with her being the intern at his company - not unreasonable to see it as an abuse of power. However - nothing illegal & if otherwise everything is good then I guess 🤷🏼

Worth noting that MN is generally quite pro huge age gaps & very much sits on the 'well she was legal' wall. Some of the shit I've seen justified here is mindblowing & usually it's ppl justifying their own experiences, so worth bearing that in mind.

Ultimately you're entitled to feel however you do about it!

Yep would make me feel weird too

Bad enough that she was 20, worse that she was an intern in his company. That's quite exploititive.

You’ve got a thread at the moment @Viv1977 in which you announced that you’re fucking another woman’s husband because your own doesn’t want sex with you. Despite the fact that in your culture it’s apparently taboo even to write the word ‘sex’.

I don’t think you’re best placed to be lecturing anyone on relationships, really.

You look at your 20 year old self as a foetus? That's a really strange thing to say. I'm offended if I'm totally honest.

I had a joint mortgage with my partner at 19 who I married at 20. We've been together 40 years. I certainly didn't feel like a foetus when I got married.

Our youngest daughter met her partner at work when she was 20 and he was 34. He couldn't believe it when her office was decorated with 21st birthday balloons for her - he thought she looked late 20s. She thought he looked late 20s. They've been together 9 years, lived together 7 years, married one year, and have three children. Both have professional careers.

I think if your boyfriend elicits such strong adverse feelings in you then you're obviously not meant to be together - especially since he seems to like younger women than you.

The only part about this that would bother me is that she was an intern at his company.

I had a holiday romance with a 21 year old when I was 32 it was great fun.

I wouldn't worry unless it's a Leo DiCaprio style pattern

It wasn't a great idea of his to have a fling with an internship at his company. It's like all young females are 'fodder'.

It seems like it was just a hookup, you hadn't met at that stage @Sroia?

Same. I’m 46 and I don’t feel motherly towards random younger people.

OP if it makes you uncomfortable then bin him, but don’t assume your feelings about it are right or universal.

Completely agree. Maybe it’s because I work with 18-22 year olds and they are very much children still! Very bizarre that by your 30s you wouldn’t feel a bit too old considering the additional amount of life experience (being in the ‘real world’). The 20 year old women who date men in their 30s which I have known thought they were very clever and mature but really the older men were just pervy.

Maybe you should use you ‘clinical experience’ to examine your own life, as you have just started a thread telling everyone you’re shagging someone else’s husband, lying to your own husband, yet are in a culture which it’s taboo to say write the word sex. The search function is great at times. You’re full of it and we can recognise a bloke pretending to be a woman fairly easily. Get back to Reddit.

Nah. That would only be the mouthbreathers who get all excited at headlines like "Barely legal!" and "Porntastic!" Not the ones you'd, you know, actually want or anything.

The gf of bf’s friend is a shit stirrer

You may as well give the relationship a go for the next few months and see how it goes, it still seems to be relatively new, maybe the fling offered herself to him on a plate and he never took it seriously

It doesn’t matter if it makes us uncomfortable or not

its how you feel and for you it just doesn’t sit right and thats absolutely fine. Maybe this is from your experiences or friends of yours it again it doesn’t matter for yourself it’s not comfortable

That would give me the ick so I don’t blame you feeling weird about it OP. I don’t think I could continue seeing him.

Well, you can blow him out for something which you disapprove of, of course, that’s your privilege . So did he tell about himself, or did someone else? If the latter, was it with disapproval?

He sounds quite tasty to me, but if you have moral standards which preclude possible partners having an age disproportionate relationship, that’s up to you. Up to you though, not to some randoms on the internet.

If you dobreak it off, tell him truthfully why, though.

I’m really surprised by the responses on this thread. A 12 year age gap and the younger person being just 20 is really quite disgusting and predatory, especially as she a an intern at his workplace. Gross. I am not sure how anybody could respect a man who thinks it is acceptable to behave like that.

I agree. Misogynistic, ignorant post. Ignore!

That’s even worse. An intern at his workplace! Totally inappropriate.