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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to 'celebrate' VE

236 replies

Ramblethroughthebrambles · 05/05/2025 17:33

I've been asked to take part in VE celebrations this week. I've politely declined. It feels OK to me to join in a solemn commemoration, with a focus on how to make sure this never happens again, but not a celebration of victory which all the UK events seem to be. I'm grateful for the sacrifices so many soldiers and others made and that we didn't become part of the Nazi empire. I completely get why people originally celebrated the end of such an awful war and its hardships. But celebrating military victory 80 years on doesn't sit right with me, especially given the conflicts in the world today. It seems to normalise military intervention and sends the message that military victory is a 'good thing' when often it's a result of failures in international diplomacy/ strategy / long term thinking. I'm not a complete pacifist and recognise there are times when military intervention is a necessary evil. But that doesn't make me want to celebrate it.

I never hear anyone else expressing this view in public. There seems to be an expectation that we'll all want to get the bunting out and have a tea party. So AIBU?

OP posts:
Ramblethroughthebrambles · 05/05/2025 23:12

LookingForRecommendation · 05/05/2025 22:55

This is all so navel-gazey

I don't understand. How is asking AIBU not navel gazing? It's a thread where people ask others for reactions to what they've thought / done...

OP posts:
LookingForRecommendation · 05/05/2025 22:55

This is all so navel-gazey

Ramblethroughthebrambles · 05/05/2025 22:53

@Suffolker

I completely agree but it feels like something that can’t be easily expressed without being criticised as being ‘anti-British’ or unpatriotic.

That's exactly why I posted here. I find it difficult to articulate my view IRL without being misinterpreted as being dismissive of the sacrifices people made or critical of others wanting to recognize this. I wondered if there was a silent but substantial minority who felt similar to me and it seems there is. It's been helpful to have so many responses.

OP posts:
Ramblethroughthebrambles · 05/05/2025 22:38

Figgygal · 05/05/2025 17:51

Commemorate absolutely on board with - the inconceivable sacrifice and Loss, the bravery, the overcoming of evil.
Remembrance and respect yes.
Celebrate no.

Absolutely where I'm at with this - thanks for phrasing so succinctly @Figgygal

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 05/05/2025 21:45

Lilyhatesjaz · 05/05/2025 17:43

I am totally with you op.
When remembrance Sunday started to be called poppy day I felt we had lost the true meaning and purpose.

THANK YOU!!

HeyThereDelila · 05/05/2025 21:35

YABU. Have some national pride for goodness sake.

It’s not a celebration, it’s a commemoration. War is always bad, but the liberation of Europe - delivering it from Nazi occupation - and ridding us all of the Nazi tyranny is a cause which we should be proud of and never forget. Nor must we ever forget the millions who died, particularly servicemen and women.

Not least that they secured a freedom which means 80 years later we enjoy a peace and quality of life that generation could only have dreamed of. It’s important our children understand this.

Sherararara · 05/05/2025 21:28

I think you’ll find for the vast majority in the country it was just another day with no celebrating/commemorating or other acknowledgment of VE Day.

tobee · 05/05/2025 21:11

The BBC is not a state broadcaster. We don't have one.

This is pretty an important thing to note in light of the question of whether we should celebrate VE Day.

Despite being a leftie, I think it's right we should celebrate VE Day and also to celebrate that others are free to disagree and write openly on a public forum today.

i also think it’s right to realise their are many complex issues and emotions arising from the history of the War.

Bridestone · 05/05/2025 21:05

I think VE Day has become a kind of intergenerational touchstone memory of a time contemporary Britain feels was its best historical moment, on the winning side of a ‘good’ war. And precedes things that have confused Britain’s sense of itself, like immigration.

LookingForRecommendation · 05/05/2025 21:02

JesusOnAYamaha · 05/05/2025 20:54

If the Allies had lost it would have been them in the dock for war crimes and the narrative would have been about how good triumphed over the evils of firebombing civilians and using atomic weapons on them.

Yes because of propaganda. The Allies were the right side.

LookingForRecommendation · 05/05/2025 21:01

hairbearbunches · 05/05/2025 20:58

The far right is already risen, for fuck's sake. What is anyone doing about it?

The virtue signalling is coming from our politicians and state broadcaster, while we make plans for an actual fascist to come over for a state visit and play some golf. It's hypocrisy. Of the highest order. And when it suits, we'll be sending young men off to fight again somewhere else 'for freedom, to make the world a better place'.

I'd bet a £ to a penny that the majority of servicemen who fought would be appalled at where the world is currently and would be wondering what the fuck they fought for. Those still alive who were at the Cenotaph today are remembering their fallen friends, not celebrating anything.

You honestly think a country with a generous welfare state, no capital or corporal punishment, the most generous abortion time limit in the world, LGBTQ rights and equal marriage, and great maternity rights is ‘far right’?

hairbearbunches · 05/05/2025 20:58

LookingForRecommendation · 05/05/2025 20:44

Agree. I don’t even see these posts as their truth - if Nazism rose again tomorrow they would be bloody celebrating its end when the time came. This is virtue signalling and nothing more.

The far right is already risen, for fuck's sake. What is anyone doing about it?

The virtue signalling is coming from our politicians and state broadcaster, while we make plans for an actual fascist to come over for a state visit and play some golf. It's hypocrisy. Of the highest order. And when it suits, we'll be sending young men off to fight again somewhere else 'for freedom, to make the world a better place'.

I'd bet a £ to a penny that the majority of servicemen who fought would be appalled at where the world is currently and would be wondering what the fuck they fought for. Those still alive who were at the Cenotaph today are remembering their fallen friends, not celebrating anything.

user1492809438 · 05/05/2025 20:56

It was right to celebrate the end of WW2 in 1945, now we should just remember. My father was a prisoner of war in Germany and never spoke about it..I find all the dressing up, dancing to swing bands and music difficult to reconcile with the vile reality.

JesusOnAYamaha · 05/05/2025 20:54

If the Allies had lost it would have been them in the dock for war crimes and the narrative would have been about how good triumphed over the evils of firebombing civilians and using atomic weapons on them.

ellyeth · 05/05/2025 20:53

I'm with you OP. There are wars going on all round the world - the most appalling situations with many civilian deaths. In such circumstances, it seems improper to be engaging in what seems very much like a celebration. Of course, the people who were alive then very much wanted to celebrate - but that was then and this is now.

LookingForRecommendation · 05/05/2025 20:44

Feelingmuchbetter · 05/05/2025 19:55

I think those dignified soldiers would be truly horrified by the me and ‘my truth’ brigade. Let’s hope we never see a rerun, if these posts are anything to go by…they would be first to throw the country under the nearest bus driven by a dictator.

Agree. I don’t even see these posts as their truth - if Nazism rose again tomorrow they would be bloody celebrating its end when the time came. This is virtue signalling and nothing more.

Parky04 · 05/05/2025 20:42

Do what you want to do. No one really gives a fuck!

LyndaSnellsSniff · 05/05/2025 20:35

I felt today's TV coverage became a bit too focused on the Royal family. I appreciate that they are figureheads for the country but I don't think today should have about them. My eyes were drawn to the veterans sitting around them and wondered what their thoughts and emotions were today.

I have an unpopular opinion on our commemorations of anything related to the World Wars; they seem to have a tendency to become a bit too Keep Calm and Carry On/Victory Rolls/scones and jam/Glenn Miller/Union Jack/Blitz spirit themed. During the D Day commemorations last year, there was a touring exhibition of knitted scenes from a day where over 4000 service people were slaughtered. Knitting??!

I always feel deeply moved by these commemorations but sometimes I just feel uncomfortable. I can't adequately explain why though!

Cvi · 05/05/2025 20:35

Presumably your relatives think the Allied victory was a good thing, because it ended Nazism. It involved horrific destruction and loss of life. That’s what happens in a war.

Again the celebration is not ‘hurrah we flattened Dresden’, it’s ‘we did what we had to and came through it’. I don’t know anyone who thinks the war was all buns and bunting.

Jewishbookworm · 05/05/2025 20:30

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/05/2025 18:33

Hopefully not to be insensitive, but is that not also tinged with a great sadness, thinking of all the Jewish people who suffered and died, and have done in many places since?

Of course, I’m saying it would also be tinged with great sadness for us also, as humans.

There are specific days (not just one, multiple) where we commemorate the Shoah. One was just last week.

Of course, its tinged with sadness either way - but say what you want about the allies not bombing the train tracks, at least they did fight against Hitler.

I think WW2 was very different to other wars in that sense, in that truly the world was fighting against pure evil. Also civilians were really part of the war, the bombings, evacuation, being involved in war work, being called up, rationing...there was huge civilan loss of life.

Feelingmuchbetter · 05/05/2025 20:29

JesusOnAYamaha · 05/05/2025 20:26

It is all a bit bizarre. Nobody really did much about it in the decades immediately after WWII but for the past 30 years, with progressively fewer people around who were actually alive at the time, we seem to have had the growth of this mad cos-playing movement with bunting and trifle and the like.

Umm the country was on rations and whole towns blown to smithereens. The entire nation collectively suffering from PTSD and trauma. Why would you think this was appropriate? We were rebuilding the country and people’s lives.

JesusOnAYamaha · 05/05/2025 20:26

It is all a bit bizarre. Nobody really did much about it in the decades immediately after WWII but for the past 30 years, with progressively fewer people around who were actually alive at the time, we seem to have had the growth of this mad cos-playing movement with bunting and trifle and the like.

SpottedDonkey · 05/05/2025 20:26

I’m not participating in the commemorations. Obviously, I’m very well aware of the sacrifices made by so many people in WW2 and of the scale of the horrors committed by the Nazis, which meant that the war had to be fought & won.

But, because my heritage is 100% Irish, I have no family connections with the British military, so these anniversaries always seem to be for those who lost relatives or who do have military links. I would feel like an imposter if I did participate.

BadSkiingMum · 05/05/2025 20:22

I think ‘What Britain would have been like’ is fairly easy to imagine from the experiences of occupied France.

A skeleton government, perhaps in collaboration.
The systematic rounding up of Jews and other minorities.
A rapid and fearful assimilation of the new situation by the population.
People turning against people in their eagerness to either fit in with or oppose the new world order. Remember how quickly that happened in Covid?

We all like to imagine that we would have been a Resistance fighter, but history shows probably not.

The wounds still lie deep in many French communities.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/apr/25/comment.bookscomment

Max Hastings: We would have done the same under Nazi occupation

Max Hastings: Irène Némirovsky's feted portrait of wartime France is an antidote to British complacency about collaboration.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/apr/25/comment.bookscomment

Arlanymor · 05/05/2025 20:18

DrCoconut · 05/05/2025 20:11

My grandad used to get fed up with people portraying WW2 as jolly sing songs and cups of tea in air raid shelters. And the myth that everyone was nice and pulled together. He was in a reserved occupation so didn't have to go away but joined the special constabulary. He witnessed all manner of crime and selfishness as well as the trauma of those who'd been bombed out. Black market, profiteering, trying to get one over on the system, looting etc were rife. He said the war was terrifying and hard for most people and everyone was just glad it was over by 1945. I don't know what he'd have made of the current culture of celebratory style events surrounding the world wars. I never knew him go to the war memorial. Most of his generation that I knew just said a silent prayer/thought for those who never came home and then got on with their day.

Bloody well said, my grandfather was in tanks and was of the exact same opinion. He was a desert rat in WW1 and was in France for WW2… he did his duty but he said he saw the absolute worst of humanity and didn’t understand people ‘acting dizzy’ - quiet relief and gratitude rather than bunting and cucumber sandwiches.

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