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Original poster

Shared garden etiquette

39 replies

daylightdreamer · 05/05/2025 13:37

Advice needed!! I live in the ground floor and only have 1 upstairs neighbour.

Now I fully respect he has equal right to the garden as I do but I’m struggling with knowing if I’m just being unreasonable or if he’s a bit entitled. I bought the garden furniture (a sofa and sun lounger) yet every single day he uses it, but not just him his mates as well. I live alone and it is a bit intimidating when I want to use the garden but having to ask if I can use my own furniture. He’s never asked if it’s mine or communal (although it wouldn’t be as it’s an HA property and they don’t even give flooring let alone furniture)! They’ve also been leaving cigarette butts everywhere despite me filling an old plant pot with sand and putting them in there to try to avoid it.

I really hate confrontation and if it was just him I may have said something but I don’t know if I’m the unreasonable one by expecting him not to use my seating? There’s always at least 3 men in the garden and I was sunbathing the other day when they came out and I felt so awkward I ended up going inside.

Is there anything I can actually do?

OP posts:
Dogpatter · 05/05/2025 14:01

i would assume anything left in a shared garden is fine for other residents to use. So either put your things away, or accept that he will sit at your table when it is not being used.

It is a good thing to establish as you don’t want him just leaving things out in the garden.

pelargoniums · 05/05/2025 14:00

I think you have to accept it’s a shared garden: you’ve cheekily put furniture out without discussion, he’s cheekily using the furniture without discussion. Maybe move it from under your bedroom window so it feels less like he’s in “your” territory, as he isn’t.

And have a chat with him instead of hoping he’ll magically use the cig butt sandpit without communication. You could partition or you could just ask him to keep cig butts cleared up and say that, since you paid for the furniture, it should be non-smoking. Bring it inside if he won’t stop smoking on it. But really you need a conversation about where people can smoke, hang laundry, put furniture, grow tomatoes, whatever.

Wonderberry · 05/05/2025 14:00

If you put furniture into a communal garden then it's only fair that it's for communal use.

Cigarette butts on the floor is slovenly behaviour and not acceptable.

A folding chair is a good idea. You can't stop him from using the garden though.

Original poster
daylightdreamer · 05/05/2025 13:59

While I’m having a moan I’ll add that I’ve had to tell him about bin collection as he wasn’t putting his out and then using mine, he still doesn’t do it so I’ve had to start doing it for him, but I’ve come to terms with that and I’m just whinging 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
daylightdreamer · 05/05/2025 13:57

Thank you, I think you’re right. I’ll have a word with him and look into getting some storage. Frustratingly we both have a cupboard outside that’s big enough but mine has both metre cupboards in so I can’t lock it

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 05/05/2025 13:54

If he doesn’t know it’s yours, tell him? Then ask him to buy his own as he can’t use yours. Just keep it indoors until you want it. Definitely look at partitions.

Original poster
daylightdreamer · 05/05/2025 13:51

TimeForATerf · 05/05/2025 13:48

Can you suggest partitioning it in half, he can use his half and sit on the floor with his mates and fag butts and you put the furniture in your half.

I thought that, but I’m not sure how it would work. It’s an L shaped garden. I could suggest he have the bigger part perhaps? I’m happy to ask him not to use it, but I wasn’t sure if that was a bit rude of me or not

OP posts:
StrongTea · 05/05/2025 13:51

Buy a storage cupboard or shed?

BeenToButtonMoon · 05/05/2025 13:49

YANBU. Can you store the lounger in your flat and only bring it out when you want to use it? If not, definitely have a word. He is being a CF

Original poster
daylightdreamer · 05/05/2025 13:49

I get that, but no one else lived here when I moved in. It’s not necessarily huge, the gardens pretty big and is only in one corner, which is also directly under my bedroom window.

OP posts:
TimeForATerf · 05/05/2025 13:48

Can you suggest partitioning it in half, he can use his half and sit on the floor with his mates and fag butts and you put the furniture in your half.

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/05/2025 13:47

He either doesn’t know it’s yours or has assumed that furniture in a shared garden is for shared use: it’s a bit cheeky in itself to take over a shared garden with your own large items of furniture without asking other neighbours.

TotemPolly · 05/05/2025 13:46

The sunbathing ? I don't think you could do anything about that , if you were in a bathing suit or bikini I can understand the feeling of being uneasy but he does have the right to it same as you .
I would have no problem informing the chairs / sunlounger was mine and could he not use it / get his own .
I don't think there is anything you could do if it's for both of you .

Alltheoldpaintings · 05/05/2025 13:46

Well if you don’t want to ask to use your own furniture, and you find it intimidating being out there with them could you sell that furniture and instead buy a folding beach chair?

We have some really comfy lounger chairs that fold up so just stay indoors and you can take it in and out when you’re using it.

If they ask you to leave it out for them just say you can’t as you use it indoors as well?

That’s what I did many years ago as a student in a shared house (cos I didn’t want my beach chair stinking of weed)

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