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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want Brexit be reversed

812 replies

BeKookySheep · 05/05/2025 10:59

I don’t normally post about politics, but this has been playing on my mind for a while. I wasn’t super political before the referendum — just a mum trying to do her best for her family. But now, years later, I really feel like Brexit hasn’t delivered what we were promised. And I think we should seriously start talking about reversing it.

My eldest is 16, really bright, and had dreams of studying languages and maybe doing a year abroad. We looked into Erasmus a while ago, but that’s gone now. And the cost and hassle of studying or working in Europe is so much higher now. She asked me, “Why is it so much harder for us than it was for you, Mum?” And honestly, I didn’t know what to say. It hit me hard.

Everything’s more expensive — our food shop has gone up loads, and don’t even get me started on getting certain things for school packed lunches! Little things, but they add up. My brother runs a small business and he's drowning in paperwork just to send stuff to Ireland. And a friend of mine left the NHS because she felt so overstretched — they can’t recruit enough staff anymore, especially from Europe.

Brexit hasn’t made anything better. It’s just made life harder in so many small but important ways. And if something clearly isn’t working — and is limiting our children’s futures — why shouldn’t we talk about changing it?

We tell our kids it’s okay to admit when something’s not right and make it better. Maybe it’s time we took our own advice.

Would love to hear if others are feeling the same. Has Brexit made life harder for your family too?

OP posts:
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Odras · 05/05/2025 12:04

LobeliaBaggins · 05/05/2025 11:59

Why do you think the EU wants us back? They don't.

Ireland would always have cheered - it just works better for us overall. Even if the whole debacle over the border laid bare that anti Irish sentiment in the UK is still prevalent.

But I think because it looks like the US will no longer be an ally, that changes everything. Ultimately more united Europe is, the better we will survive it.

stayathomer · 05/05/2025 12:04

In Ireland and all of the things you listed aren’t just due to brexit, cost of living here is off the chart!! Saying that I am sorry that you all have to go through all the shit you’re going through as a result of a vote

blindblinds · 05/05/2025 12:04

@Azdcgbjml I suppose as it doesn't impact the current & upcoming retirees (who were more likely to vote Brexit) they don't care?

BisiBodi · 05/05/2025 12:03

Keirawr · 05/05/2025 12:01

Brexit had made travelling harder.

But your food shop has gone up because everyone was squealing for furlough during covid so they could sit in their garden and watch Netflix. The £1 trillion borrowed and printed and during covid so healthy people could sit at home is why we have had inflation.

Your energy bills have gone up because we don’t produce energy at home like those countries who are largely immune from it due to producing their own energy. The net 0 scam means that we are shutting down oil fields, not allowed to produce our own gas and get taxed billions so government cronies can get their ‘green subsidies’.

We have high housing costs, because we don’t build enough homes and import nearly one million immigrants a year and then wonder why more people and same housing means more expense.

You are paying more than ever in tax because less than half the population is net contributors and nearly 10 million people of working age are claiming benefits rather then working full time or at all.

So reversing Brexit wouldn’t be a magic bullet. This country is cooked. Advise your daughter to find another way out. It’s only going to get worse.

Edited

"So reversing Brexit wouldn’t be a magic bullet. This country is cooked. Advise your daughter to find another way out. It’s only going to get worse."

This is very true. I've lived my entire life in this country, but never before have I been in a situation where I no longer recognise it.

Reversing Brexit, by which we really mean greater partnership with our friends and allies in mainland Europe, would help, but it won't solve the rot at the heart of this country.

blindblinds · 05/05/2025 12:03

You've hit the nail on the head, middle class belittling the working class as usual. Sorry Matilda can't study abroad but the majority of us have real world problems. It's a nice idea to welcome mass migration but it puts a strain on schools, NHS and housing but these issues they don't have to worry about they can probably pay private and send thier kids to nice schools. They think it's lovely migrants come over and work in care because it's beneath them to do such jobs (patronising or what). Mass migration keeps wages down, construction pay has increased a lot since brexit, money in the pockets of hard working people. I don't know anyone that regrets voting to leave.

You can't know many middle class people if you think the majority of them use private school, haven't been impacted by economic policy, etc. I don't even know what class I am but I don't want to work a care job, why does that make me a bad person?

Azdcgbjml · 05/05/2025 12:02

blindblinds · 05/05/2025 11:40

And what’s going to happen as the last of the boomers, born in 1964, are approaching retirement and the population figures fall off a cliff?

I'm not sure why so many don't want to acknowledge the changing demographics & the economic implications of that. Is it because they would rather pretend low taxes & better services are possible?

The retirement age will just have to keep going up until the concept of retirement becomes a distant memory?

mummyto9angels · 05/05/2025 12:02

Swiftie1878 · 05/05/2025 11:12

YABU.
The benefits of Brexit are still to unfold. The whole world has been a shit show since then, due to COVID, Syria, Ukraine and now Trump. None of that is down to Brexit, in fact being outside the EU has helped more than hindered.

What benefits do you think will arise?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/05/2025 12:01

ClareBlue · 05/05/2025 11:53

As a person of above average intelligence you will of course realise that 50 perc of people have to be below average intelligence or we wouldn't have an average.
And the long term average inflation in UK is 3.2 perc a year. It's 2.6 in April. That's not rampant. EU average 2.7 with 15 Countries higher than UK.
So, as you can see, it's always better to check the actual facts in debates like these.

Of course I realise that.

Many people don't realise that and get terribly offended when you say it. No prizes for guessing which half they are in.

The point is that voting for Farage was never an indication of intelligence, but voting for more Farage at this point just looks like pure idiocy. The man has never delivered a single thing he has promised.

BisiBodi · 05/05/2025 12:01

StillProcrastinating · 05/05/2025 11:02

People are voting Reform, so looks like lots think Nigel Farage knows what he’s doing. Presumably they’re quite happy with the outcome of brexit and think it’s been good for the country because otherwise why vote for him ….

Because they're desperate.

When people feel left behind, abandoned, and disenfranchised - as many do - they are willing to follow anyone who promises to make things better.
That's one of the ways that tyrants and dictators get into positions of power, whether it's Germany in the 1930s or the USA in the 2020s.

It is clear now, to all but the most die-hard xenophobe, that Brexit was the total disaster it was always going to be. No country ever, to my knowledge, has done what the British did to themselves in Brexit; effectively voting to impose economic sanctions on ourselves.

Many people now realise that enormous error, and that they were led along, and lied to, by a tiny section of people who are now very, very wealthy as a result of the colossal act of self-harm that referendum did, but the country as a whole is very much poorer and worse off.
Add to that the shockingly bad behaviour of Labour after the egregious Tories were ousted and you end up with exactly the situation we're seeing; people voting Reform because they are desperate for change.

But it's illusory, as these situations always are.

Keirawr · 05/05/2025 12:01

Brexit had made travelling harder.

But your food shop has gone up because everyone was squealing for furlough during covid so they could sit in their garden and watch Netflix. The £1 trillion borrowed and printed and during covid so healthy people could sit at home is why we have had inflation.

Your energy bills have gone up because we don’t produce energy at home like those countries who are largely immune from it due to producing their own energy. The net 0 scam means that we are shutting down oil fields, not allowed to produce our own gas and get taxed billions so government cronies can get their ‘green subsidies’.

We have high housing costs, because we don’t build enough homes and import nearly one million immigrants a year and then wonder why more people and same housing means more expense.

You are paying more than ever in tax because less than half the population is net contributors and nearly 10 million people of working age are claiming benefits rather then working full time or at all.

So reversing Brexit wouldn’t be a magic bullet. This country is cooked. Advise your daughter to find another way out. It’s only going to get worse.

MrsMappFlint · 05/05/2025 12:01

Well, I think you can be optimistic, OP.

The PM is going to "Re-Set" relations with the EU

He can't say "Re-Join" but at the very least, it will be a massive step forward to re-joining without actually saying he has Re-Joined.

I think even a child of ten would understand this is the path we are on.

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/05/2025 12:01

blindblinds · 05/05/2025 11:51

Whatever our housing, public services, labour market, benefits system etc. are designed to absorb.

I don't know how you would quantify the above but we don't have enough young people to support the ageing population. So if it's no immigration, then we need to raise taxes & means test/move out the state pension. What other options are there?

It's not that hard. How many additional houses do you think we need for one million additional people per year? Clue, its the population of Sheffield plus Nottingham. Every year.

Multiply that by 5 for the life of the parliament. Compare that to Labour's house building target (which they are missing by hundreds of thousands). Based on those numbers, do you think the existing population's housing situation will improve or get worse?

Similar calculations position for public services etc.

Lnew · 05/05/2025 12:01

StillProcrastinating · 05/05/2025 11:02

People are voting Reform, so looks like lots think Nigel Farage knows what he’s doing. Presumably they’re quite happy with the outcome of brexit and think it’s been good for the country because otherwise why vote for him ….

I don’t agree with this - my DH voted remain and has always voted Lib Dem - has never voted for any other party in 30 years of voting. He was very unhappy when the Brexit referendum happened and still very unhappy with the results of it.

He hates Lab and Con. However, in all the years he’s voted Lib Dem, his vote has never been in a place where they’ve got a seat - so votes all feel wasted. What does that leave? Farage. DH is in no way far right or racist, politics are central. But he is considering Farage.

Odras · 05/05/2025 12:00

From an Irish perspective, Brexit has had an impact but it is absolutely nothing like the worst case senario the news was telling us would definitely happen. The economy is booming and most of our problems are home grown!

But ultimately it would be better for Ireland if Brexit was reversed. Especially with the US basically turning against all of us. I’m kind of fascinated that some people in the UK can’t seem to see that Brexit caused most of their current problems and are still putting their faith in Nigel Farage.

And now we have eejits over here jumping on the anti EU bandwagon. So you don’t have monopoly on eejits that’s for sure.

LobeliaBaggins · 05/05/2025 11:59

Why do you think the EU wants us back? They don't.

TopPocketFind · 05/05/2025 11:59

caringcarer · 05/05/2025 11:50

Well said. Changes are not always apparent overnight. We will only get our fishing rights back overtime unless KS is stupid enough to sign them away again.

How did Farage support the UK's fishing rights when he was an MEP?

When he had a role on the European Parliament Fishing Committee

Topseyt123 · 05/05/2025 11:58

caringcarer · 05/05/2025 11:46

OP you need to look at The Turing scheme. It replaced Erasmus but Tiring scheme is worldwid not just Europe. This is broadening opportunities for young people in education to travel not limiting it. The referendum was a democratic process where everyone entitled to vote could do so. More people voted to leave than to remain. You need to accept your view was not the most popular view and move on. Only another referendum would move us back in and we'd have to accept the Euro instead of the pound.

We looked at the Türing Scheme. It didn't benefit my DD and we couldn't make it work at all. Useless.

With Erasmus we could at least have used it for her 6 months in Italy but it was gone for UK students by then.

Notonthestairs · 05/05/2025 11:58

Lookjaz · 05/05/2025 11:56

Brexit was not done as it should have been due to the remainders blocking everything and not helping together it done in a timely manner. Their refusal to accept the result gave the EU added power to give the UK a bad outcome

Begs the question - how was it supposed to have been done?

Lookjaz · 05/05/2025 11:56

Brexit was not done as it should have been due to the remainders blocking everything and not helping together it done in a timely manner. Their refusal to accept the result gave the EU added power to give the UK a bad outcome

Whippetlovely · 05/05/2025 11:56

FiveBarGate · 05/05/2025 11:37

She needs to look at the Turning scheme.

To be honest it is posts like this that are part of the reason we got the Brexit conversation so wrong.

Lots of 'what about my year abroad ' and no willingness to talk about the impact on agricultural jobs, how the ready supply of workers enabled employers to demand things like '20 hours a week any time between 7am and 9pm', school classes which now include 13 different languages. These are the issues which affected those who can't just move or get a different job.

I don't think Brexit was the answer but we seem too willing to just dismiss issues people are facing as not relevant and focus only on those affecting the middle classes.

And as Reform shows, we are not learning.

You've hit the nail on the head, middle class belittling the working class as usual. Sorry Matilda can't study abroad but the majority of us have real world problems. It's a nice idea to welcome mass migration but it puts a strain on schools, NHS and housing but these issues they don't have to worry about they can probably pay private and send thier kids to nice schools. They think it's lovely migrants come over and work in care because it's beneath them to do such jobs (patronising or what). Mass migration keeps wages down, construction pay has increased a lot since brexit, money in the pockets of hard working people. I don't know anyone that regrets voting to leave.

TheGreatBugsy · 05/05/2025 11:55

Did you vote to leave OP? Brexit was never going to deliver what was promised. It was obvious we would be worse off in so many ways by leaving the EU but unfortunately millions of people didn’t bother to do any research and voted to leave. I’m still furious about it now.

ClareBlue · 05/05/2025 11:53

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 05/05/2025 11:37

The thing is, 50% of "the people" have below average intelligence.

Ten years ago Nigel Farage was telling everyone that Brexit would mean no more immigration, £350m a week for the NHS and sunlit uplands.

None of the benefits he promised have materialised and instead we have rampant inflation whilst wages have more or less continued to stagnate.

If you look back over the last decade and you think that continuing to put your faith in Nigel Farage is the sensible thing to do, there really is no hope for you.

As a person of above average intelligence you will of course realise that 50 perc of people have to be below average intelligence or we wouldn't have an average.
And the long term average inflation in UK is 3.2 perc a year. It's 2.6 in April. That's not rampant. EU average 2.7 with 15 Countries higher than UK.
So, as you can see, it's always better to check the actual facts in debates like these.

Topseyt123 · 05/05/2025 11:52

Brexshit (especially the hard Brexshit that we ended up with) was the biggest and stupidest act of self harm that the UK has ever committed.

I'd love to see Brexshit reversed, but realistically, it either isn't going to happen and/or will be a long and drawn out process when it does. Nor would we be likely to be allowed to rejoin on anything like the favourable terms we actually had before we left. We would almost certainly have to accept the Euro as our currency too.

I do hope that Starmer's attempts at a reset of the relationship is successful and has legs. It would be nice if some of the issues holding young (and some older 😉) people back could be addressed.

My DD3 had to spend a year abroad as part of her university course (languages). Half in a Spanish speaking country (she chose South America) and half in Italy. The visas needed to allow her to study for 6 months in Italy were much harder to procure because of Brexshit and the removal of Freedom of Movement, and costly too. It was actually much easier for her to get into the South American country and stay there, believe it or not!; 🙄🤔

Sunbeam01 · 05/05/2025 11:52

I also will add the EU is also in a world of shit. Much like the UK.

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