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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do my daughters GCSE course work?

387 replies

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 07:28

My daughter is adhd diagnosed, probable autism which she is still on a waiting list for years after the referral was submitted, she gets frustrated and gives up quickly, she tries, she really does, but sometimes gets overwhelmed and cant continue a task.

Her art GCSE course work is due in this week, she was very behind. I have spent all last weekend and this weekend helping her get it done. Up until now its been sitting and encouraging her, ive done some of the research whilst shes been doing the sketches needed, and then shes re-written it out, suggestions of sketches she could do, and cutting it all out so she can place everything into her book, helping her with layouts and ordering, but mostly just keeping her on track and focussed in 2 hour windows. There was one piece of art required for it to be done, she tried, for hours, yesterday to do it, but she got so frustrated and couldnt do it, its a portrait of a person. She ended up getting quite upset with the drawing and the looming deadline. This isnt the first time she has attempted it, shes been trying to draw it for weeks, but i put it to one side as she was hyperfixated on it, and in order to get everything else done, i took it off the table and said we would do that last. The sketch is needed as her final piece was based around this portrait, though her final piece was just shapes no details. The teacher has told her she absolutly must include this portrait in her project. Her final exam has already been sat so she cant just change the direction of the project now.

So ive drawn it, its not great, i can draw a bit but not even close to being skilled, but its better than what she was able to produce. She doesnt know ive drawn it last night. Ive started the shading to block out the main shadows, but it needs finishing, which she can do in the same way she has shaded all her other work, it looks vaguely like the person its supposed to be if you squint a little bit. We are going to try again today, ive even suggested to her tracing the facial structure today if we can figure a way to do it as we have no thin paper left to trace with, just really thick watercolour paper and card left. But it needs finishing today to hand in tomorrow. Then we can focus on her other much needed revision.

Her college plans do not include something even close to art related, its one drawing in amongst probably 100 others over the 2 years of project work, in the grand scheme of things i dont think it will make a difference to her grade, but her teacher has said it has to be included, so she is building it up to be the most important thing ever. I just want to help her, and ease some of her stress. Would you give her the drawing and help her finish it? Or is it too much help? Ive convinced myself if she does the shading then its no different to having traced the initial drawing, which is perfectly acceptable in her work, we just dont have the access to do that easily today. Do we try the tracing first and it that goes wrong then i just give her this one to shade over? theres a chance she has tried tracing in school on the lightboxes and they have been discarded already, as i know she traced other images.

How much help is too much, considering her SEN, but also that this is GCSE work?

OP posts:
Kreepture · 05/05/2025 10:26

You can't submit your drawing.

What you CAN do is give her your drawing for her to attempt to copy and complete.

And the people saying about the exam/coursework, my DD is doing Art as well, and did their exam pieces 2 weeks ago, but they're still tidying up/completing their coursework books in lesson.. they're just not allowed to bring the actual books home.

Lowkey28 · 05/05/2025 10:24

GCSEs aren’t an even playing field so sometimes I think you have to be “creative “ to make it so

WildUmberCrow · 05/05/2025 10:23

The whole system is rigged against children with additional needs. In fact the whole education system is not fit for purpose for all but the most traditionally academic IMO.
These exams won't seem so important a few years down the road. Especially if this subject is not part of her ongoing plans.
I understand the pressure and stress you must feel after years of dealing with our inflexible education system. So no judgement from me. But I do hope she might feel able to submit her own work.

The grade you get in a GCSE art exam has little bearing on your creative talent. I got the lowest grade possible. Yet I design and make things that sell.

noworklifebalance · 05/05/2025 10:18

Instead of helping her with her art in this way, given that it has no bearing on her A-level choices, you should try and help her have some perspective on the situation. She needs to see it through, do her best and realise that her best is fine in this situation.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 05/05/2025 10:18

LoveWine123 · 05/05/2025 07:38

Why don’t you include the drawing she did even if it’s worse than yours. If her grade in art won’t matter. Don’t teach her someone will always save her.

I think this is the only approach you can take, if art is not going to be a subject she pursues in later life. Maybe ask her to try one last time today (maybe using the upside-down technique suggested above, see if that works for her?) and hand in the best of the bunch.
Good luck to you both.

Original poster
LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 10:17

JifNtGif · 05/05/2025 10:14

However you Liz Truss it up OP, you're going to cheat to help your DD. It's against the spirit of helping her be independent, it's against the exam rules and this will probably be revealed when the teacher asks DD about the different style of picture and DD tells them. This would actually disqualify her from her GCSE which apparently she has already done the work for. Just don't do it.

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Its different anyway as no other part of the project is in this style! Now it is going to be all her work, not a pencil line on it shall be done by me.

OP posts:
JifNtGif · 05/05/2025 10:14

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 10:10

I quite clearly have said its one drawing in amongst a prject, the other help i have given has been support and writing a couple of bits out for her on post its so she can add them where they need to go. Its entirely her work, its this one drawing she is adament she has to include. So so far, no i havent done any of it, i was considering giving her a basic sketched line drawing i have done, for her to shade, to get her past this last bit. Ive also quite clearly said that i wont do it, given the responses, but i think the advice of a grid may be easier for her to do from mine, rather than a screen.

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However you Liz Truss it up OP, you're going to cheat to help your DD. It's against the spirit of helping her be independent, it's against the exam rules and this will probably be revealed when the teacher asks DD about the different style of picture and DD tells them. This would actually disqualify her from her GCSE which apparently she has already done the work for. Just don't do it.

viques · 05/05/2025 10:13

Didn’t someone at Eton “help” Harry with his artwork for an exam. And look how he’s ended up!

Syuni · 05/05/2025 10:11

Do not do it for her! That is all kinds of wrong and sends a terrible message.
Get her to download the De Vinci Art app, watch a video on YouTube about how to use it, then she can sketch it herself using that.

MightAsWellBeGretel · 05/05/2025 10:11

And this is why I always hated coursework.

rosemarble · 05/05/2025 10:10

Too late now, but she was ill advised to take this GCSE. It’s well known that the course work is a lot. A student that isn’t up to that (for whatever reason) isn’t suited for that GCSE. Either her SEN allows for adjustments, but if it doesn’t then a parent helping isn’t the solution. Will she feel proud of her “accomplishment” if she passes? What message are you giving your DD?

Original poster
LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 10:10

gattocattivo · 05/05/2025 10:02

This thread is ridiculous. Your title is ‘AIBU to do my daughter’s GCSE course work?’ Since then, you’ve tried to minimise the ‘doing the coursework’ to writing out a few dates on post it notes and sitting with her. So which is it? Are you doing her coursework or not?

as many of us have pointed out, it’s not helpful to any child to be pushed into a position of lying, signing to confirm their work is all their own when they know it isn’t. Don’t patronise your daughter.. she knows what’s hers and what isn’t.

neither is it good for a child to not be able to cope with not being amazing at every subject or task. So what if she struggles with art? It’s a life lesson to learn we can’t all succeed at everything and to accept that with good grace.

I would feel I was letting myself down as a parent if I submitted something of mine rather than their own work. Just let her put in hers. Encourage, praise the best effort and reassure that this is the right thing to do. Then be proud of her on results day for all her subjects, as long as she’s tried her best.

I’ve got a feeling though that you’ve already made your mind up what you’re going to do so I don’t really understand the point of posting.

and yes, I’ve also had a neurodivergent child go through GCSEs and A levels, it’s not easy knowing how to support but doing it for them isn’t the answer

I quite clearly have said its one drawing in amongst a prject, the other help i have given has been support and writing a couple of bits out for her on post its so she can add them where they need to go. Its entirely her work, its this one drawing she is adament she has to include. So so far, no i havent done any of it, i was considering giving her a basic sketched line drawing i have done, for her to shade, to get her past this last bit. Ive also quite clearly said that i wont do it, given the responses, but i think the advice of a grid may be easier for her to do from mine, rather than a screen.

OP posts:
Hdjdb42 · 05/05/2025 10:10

Personally, I would help her. Do a sketch and ask her to finish it off. Don't tell anyone!

CodandChipz · 05/05/2025 10:08

DD is working on her previous years book at the moment. It’s a struggle. She is ASD and if everything isn’t perfect she gets upset, she also has improved since last year and she finds that upsetting now.

What I say is, nothing has to be perfect. This is what the annotation is for, she can’t write that she didn’t like it, didn’t work out, why it didn’t work. It’s not about perfection but understanding what works didn’t work. Why it links to the work you are doing etc.

i feel your pain though - DD has had many ruined pieces of work.

JifNtGif · 05/05/2025 10:08

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 07:40

because they are all now screwed up and binned after she got very upset trying to do it yesterday.

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Perfect. Take a photo of the bin (ideally wicker) with the failed attempts in. Pin one attempt out on board and include photos.
"Tribulations by Daughter of OP"
Mixed media
c2025

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 05/05/2025 10:08

What meds is your dd on. Maybe ask.about having it increased. My 15 year dd is audhd and I've always let her fall short if she hasn't done it she bears the consequences. She's doing amazing now. Much better since being on concerta 54mg maybe give her an instant while she is doing it? My 10 Yr old dd has never done any homework again I'll let her experience the consequences when at comp. Otherwise how will college go and work etc if she isnt accountable for her actions now

FinallyOnTheUp · 05/05/2025 10:07

I've only read OP's posts so someone may have already suggested this, but have you tried 'body doubling'? Basically you would sit down with her and both do the task at the same time, either quietly or with you describing each part while you are doing it, so your daughter can follow. It can be helpful for some people with ADHD but not all

ADHD and ASD are a difficult mix (I have both), they contradict and fight against each other a lot of the time. Definitely not just like having one or the other. You are doing the best thing possible for your daughter by giving her as much help as she needs at this point, it's a really crucial time for ND girls as they tend to burn out around this age, so support can make all the difference to them. It sounds like you're doing a great job x

stichguru · 05/05/2025 10:07

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 10:03

Whilst she has been out doing her paper rounds, ive drawn a grid over my drawing, for her to be able to use to copy on to a grid she draws, as like i said, the image was on a screen, and this one i have done is atleast the size she needs it to be and she is able to move it around and try different angles etc. im going to suggest this, although my drawing is far from perfect, and if she doesnt like that idea, or it doesnt go to plan, she can pop out and get something to trace, if that doesnt work, ill just have to try and encourage her to draw a line under this project, submit it how it is, have a movie night, and start on her revision as best we can tomorrow.

Thank you to all those who posted helpful advice without judgement, all im trying to do is help her the best i know how to help her.

Edited

That is really sensible OP
Has she got any exam access arrangements? If I was your child's art teacher or form tutor, I would certainly want to know how difficult she is finding this. I can't give any idea of access arrangements for Art because I never did it, and have never supported in it, but there certainly should be some possibilities.

JifNtGif · 05/05/2025 10:06

Maray1967 · 05/05/2025 07:35

I invigilated art GCSE at a local school on Friday pm - the final session of the practical exam, as far as I understand. Nothing could be taken home. The teachers all hammered this out in all three art rooms. We worked strictly to a time deadline. I’m surprised that your DD has the work at home.

Guess there must be different circumstances between you and OP then 🙄

JustMeHello · 05/05/2025 10:06

One of the risks is that if it's found out, it won't just be her Art GCSE that's affected, it's potentially all her GCSE grades. JCQ rules about cheating are very very clear and one of the potential outcomes is that all the GCSEs for that learner are cancelled for that year - more likely to be any of the ones with coursework than any that are just exam, but still a possibility.

WearyAuldWumman · 05/05/2025 10:05

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 07:40

because they are all now screwed up and binned after she got very upset trying to do it yesterday.

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Then remove them from the bin and unscrew them.

RedToothBrush · 05/05/2025 10:05

You are not helping her here

If she fails, she fails.
This is an accurate measure of whether she can cope with the course. It doesn't help her to pretend it does.

If art is essential to what she wants to do, then she needs to ask big questions about whether she's cut out for it.

If it's not essential it's meaningless. She has other GCSEs.

If she doesn't get enough to carry on with her plans then she has bigger problems than this singular GCSE.

Original poster
LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 10:03

Whilst she has been out doing her paper rounds, ive drawn a grid over my drawing, for her to be able to use to copy on to a grid she draws, as like i said, the image was on a screen, and this one i have done is atleast the size she needs it to be and she is able to move it around and try different angles etc. im going to suggest this, although my drawing is far from perfect, and if she doesnt like that idea, or it doesnt go to plan, she can pop out and get something to trace, if that doesnt work, ill just have to try and encourage her to draw a line under this project, submit it how it is, have a movie night, and start on her revision as best we can tomorrow.

Thank you to all those who posted helpful advice without judgement, all im trying to do is help her the best i know how to help her.

OP posts:
stichguru · 05/05/2025 10:03

Please don't teach your daughter this that this is ok - cheating because you have a disability is NOT ok, and the route you are going down is dangerous. You are doing her a huge disservice, which could very easily catch up to her in later life. Not to mention that she will probably have to sign something to say her art work is her own, and if she doesn't her work probably won't be accepted anyway, and if she does and it's then discovered she will be in serious trouble. She can use your drawing as a model or inspiration, but submitting it as hers would be cruel to her.

DonnaSueWeloveyou · 05/05/2025 10:03

I would imagine the teacher will realise it’s not her work, then she’ll get zero.

Just encourage her to submit the best one she’s done so far.

You sound way too involved, standing over her and doing bits for her. Can you not tell her you’re proud of her for doing her best, even if it’s a bit rubbish sometimes?