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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To do my daughters GCSE course work?

387 replies

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 07:28

My daughter is adhd diagnosed, probable autism which she is still on a waiting list for years after the referral was submitted, she gets frustrated and gives up quickly, she tries, she really does, but sometimes gets overwhelmed and cant continue a task.

Her art GCSE course work is due in this week, she was very behind. I have spent all last weekend and this weekend helping her get it done. Up until now its been sitting and encouraging her, ive done some of the research whilst shes been doing the sketches needed, and then shes re-written it out, suggestions of sketches she could do, and cutting it all out so she can place everything into her book, helping her with layouts and ordering, but mostly just keeping her on track and focussed in 2 hour windows. There was one piece of art required for it to be done, she tried, for hours, yesterday to do it, but she got so frustrated and couldnt do it, its a portrait of a person. She ended up getting quite upset with the drawing and the looming deadline. This isnt the first time she has attempted it, shes been trying to draw it for weeks, but i put it to one side as she was hyperfixated on it, and in order to get everything else done, i took it off the table and said we would do that last. The sketch is needed as her final piece was based around this portrait, though her final piece was just shapes no details. The teacher has told her she absolutly must include this portrait in her project. Her final exam has already been sat so she cant just change the direction of the project now.

So ive drawn it, its not great, i can draw a bit but not even close to being skilled, but its better than what she was able to produce. She doesnt know ive drawn it last night. Ive started the shading to block out the main shadows, but it needs finishing, which she can do in the same way she has shaded all her other work, it looks vaguely like the person its supposed to be if you squint a little bit. We are going to try again today, ive even suggested to her tracing the facial structure today if we can figure a way to do it as we have no thin paper left to trace with, just really thick watercolour paper and card left. But it needs finishing today to hand in tomorrow. Then we can focus on her other much needed revision.

Her college plans do not include something even close to art related, its one drawing in amongst probably 100 others over the 2 years of project work, in the grand scheme of things i dont think it will make a difference to her grade, but her teacher has said it has to be included, so she is building it up to be the most important thing ever. I just want to help her, and ease some of her stress. Would you give her the drawing and help her finish it? Or is it too much help? Ive convinced myself if she does the shading then its no different to having traced the initial drawing, which is perfectly acceptable in her work, we just dont have the access to do that easily today. Do we try the tracing first and it that goes wrong then i just give her this one to shade over? theres a chance she has tried tracing in school on the lightboxes and they have been discarded already, as i know she traced other images.

How much help is too much, considering her SEN, but also that this is GCSE work?

OP posts:
LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 08:20

Els1e · 05/05/2025 08:14

Another one coming to say, don't do it. You are doing your daughter no favours by helping by cheating. This could affect her future studies and she could end up being placed at the wrong level for her skills. Help her in other ways by encouraging her to do her best, how to manage emotions when our best doesn't meet a required level, organisation skills, coping strategies when under pressure.

All her college options are science/maths based. Her art result is no way going to effect her future, she only picked it as she didnt want to do the others in the option block, though she has ended up enjoying it until now.

OP posts:
chillibuns · 05/05/2025 08:19

Bellyblueboy · 05/05/2025 08:15

My friend at school’s dad did her coursework. All her coursework.

They never got caught. He got her into university and did all her coursework there. But she failed all her exams.

she hasn’t been able to hold down a job as an adult. Her dad is very, very involved in her life (she is in her forties). He does her application forms, get her the interview and sometimes the job. But she can’t cope with not having him there to take all the decisions for her. She was never able to fully manage independence. It’s a weird relationship.

Crazy. Talk about setting her up to fail.

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 08:17

autumn1610 · 05/05/2025 08:15

Rather than realistic portrait can she not look at something more abstract? Or I would get her to do a series of sketches/drawings focused on features of this persons face.

Edited

She has other abstract images, and pop art style, etc included. Which is why i dont think this realistic drawing is essential, but she wont have it, the teachers word is gospel in this situation.

OP posts:
chillibuns · 05/05/2025 08:17

There are many step by step tutorials online. Would this help? It would break it down for her. Agree with previous posters, it’s best if it’s her own work.

TroysMammy · 05/05/2025 08:16

To keep her focussed on the piece couldn't you both do it individually and she submits her piece? Perhaps both of you doing the same task would be less fraught and somewhat enjoyable as you could encourage each other.

autumn1610 · 05/05/2025 08:15

Rather than realistic portrait can she not look at something more abstract? Or I would get her to do a series of sketches/drawings focused on features of this persons face.

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 08:15

Riaanna · 05/05/2025 08:10

You’re facilitating her to cheat. And teaching staff will likely know and have to address. Which will be a fail across the entire exam.

You’re better off getting the screwed up bits out and repairing and submitting and hope the rest of the cheating goes unnoticed.

What rest of cheating? I wrote out some time lines that literally came up top on a google search on post it notes so she could write them on to the pages needed, whilst she was doing teh sketches neded. If i left her to it alone she wouldnt have finished the work, but i havent done anything for her until last night, which she doesnt even know about. Her work is all her own at the minute. And as i suspeced, giving her this outline for her to finish is toomuch help, ive already said i wont give it and look for an alternative way of helping her finish.

Its really hard to see your child, who tries her absolute best, get so upset and frustrated over something so minor though, all i want to do is help her and take away some of the stress as its not just one subject, she has the other 8 she needs to start focussing on too. And i kow her, she will not focus on anything else with this drawing not completed.

OP posts:
Bellyblueboy · 05/05/2025 08:15

My friend at school’s dad did her coursework. All her coursework.

They never got caught. He got her into university and did all her coursework there. But she failed all her exams.

she hasn’t been able to hold down a job as an adult. Her dad is very, very involved in her life (she is in her forties). He does her application forms, get her the interview and sometimes the job. But she can’t cope with not having him there to take all the decisions for her. She was never able to fully manage independence. It’s a weird relationship.

TizerorFizz · 05/05/2025 08:14

Tracy Emin would be happy with the art from the rubbish bin. It’s art - isn’t it?

Els1e · 05/05/2025 08:14

Another one coming to say, don't do it. You are doing your daughter no favours by helping by cheating. This could affect her future studies and she could end up being placed at the wrong level for her skills. Help her in other ways by encouraging her to do her best, how to manage emotions when our best doesn't meet a required level, organisation skills, coping strategies when under pressure.

Lostworlds · 05/05/2025 08:14

I think it’s more the lesson that you’re teaching her here, it’s great to support and assist her, encouraging her and helping her to focus is a massive help but doing the work for her shows she can give up and let someone else do it.

Personally I wouldn’t do it but would use whatever she produces today to be the final piece.

IthasYes · 05/05/2025 08:13

@Christmasmorale that's interesting so what would help you then

Christmasmorale · 05/05/2025 08:13

IthasYes · 05/05/2025 08:11

Op do it.
My nephew is at college and he said loads and loads of students all do assignment work using chat gpt and the checkers can't even detect it or they use student docs and change the words

It's so rife I think you can morally give her a bit of help

Just because it’s rife doesn’t mean it’s right. Since when has the prevalence of a moral failing been a good reason to teach our children to do it?

IthasYes · 05/05/2025 08:11

Op do it.
My nephew is at college and he said loads and loads of students all do assignment work using chat gpt and the checkers can't even detect it or they use student docs and change the words

It's so rife I think you can morally give her a bit of help

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 08:10

MyDeftDuck · 05/05/2025 08:08

Her work is her interpretation of the subject matter………you’re not doing her any favours by submitting your artwork for her exam. That is no different to one student looking at and copying another students answers on a test paper.
If the examination board find out her whole work for that subject could be disqualified.

Im not doing her exam, she has done that, this is the project leading to her exam, which she sat, alone, in silence, with no help, like every other child sitting the exam.

OP posts:
Riaanna · 05/05/2025 08:10

You’re facilitating her to cheat. And teaching staff will likely know and have to address. Which will be a fail across the entire exam.

You’re better off getting the screwed up bits out and repairing and submitting and hope the rest of the cheating goes unnoticed.

Christmasmorale · 05/05/2025 08:09

JustLookingThanks · 05/05/2025 08:06

Show her your effort, and then sit beside her and have another go at drawing the portrait, both of you drawing your own version, using your effort as inspiration next to the photo of whoever you're drawing. If you're drawing at the same time it's a body doubling situation, less pressure and more encouraging than actually sitting there watching her draw. But you must not do it for her however tempting it is.

I think it’s a good idea but I’m not sure OP should be the body doubler as she’s too invested. Also OP should do something related but not the same (I.e colouring in)

I have ADHD and body doubling only works when I’m doing it with a person who doesn’t have any interest in what I’m doing, otherwise it’s too much pressure and a simple question such as “how are you getting on” can cause me to shut down and give up.

Nomdejeur · 05/05/2025 08:09

People are not understanding how art GCSE works. Yes there is a 10 hour exam where they work on a piece of art, but there’s also a whole portfolio of work to be done which is what the OP has been helping with.

MyDeftDuck · 05/05/2025 08:08

Her work is her interpretation of the subject matter………you’re not doing her any favours by submitting your artwork for her exam. That is no different to one student looking at and copying another students answers on a test paper.
If the examination board find out her whole work for that subject could be disqualified.

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/05/2025 08:08

Maray1967 · 05/05/2025 07:36

The most the teachers could do was give out requested art supplies or equipment. No other talking was allowed - certainly no guidance on how to improve the work. It surely cannot be right that parents are finishing off work at home.

I have also invigilated Art exams. They were carried out in complete silence.

LolaLouise · 05/05/2025 08:08

Eatinghabits86 · 05/05/2025 08:01

Sorry SEN is no excuse for this. If she can't do the work then she fails. She is just a couple of years from the real world, how is she going to cope if this is what you're teaching her?

to be clear, she has done the work, this is one drawing in a project thats over 40 pages of work, but a drawing her teacher has insisted she includes even though its not her strong point, so now she is hyperfixated on this one page, when the rest of her work is already really good. However, this teacher is also the one grading the project, so she wants to do what she has suggested. In my opinion, her final piece with the plans and connections she has made in the project, makes sense without needing a realistic sketch, as none of what she has focused on has been realistic art, but the teacher has told her she absolutely must do it. The rest of what was missing was easy to finish, repeat sketches in different mediums, little pockets of information, and organsing it all in to and order that leads to her final piece, she needed myhelp to focus on that, but i didnt do anything for her. But my opinion on not doing this portrait makes no difference to her. In an ideal world she will agree and just hand it in as is, and hopefully get the same grade regardless.

OP posts:
Uptome · 05/05/2025 08:07

My friend helped one of her dc cheat to pass a maths gcse. I knew about it prior to the exam but did nothing as she just wanted him to be able to get a job and to have the 5 gcses including maths. It didn’t hurt me in any way and I know cheating isn’t ok but I turned a blind eye to it and I’m glad he was able to get into college and then work.

JustLookingThanks · 05/05/2025 08:06

Show her your effort, and then sit beside her and have another go at drawing the portrait, both of you drawing your own version, using your effort as inspiration next to the photo of whoever you're drawing. If you're drawing at the same time it's a body doubling situation, less pressure and more encouraging than actually sitting there watching her draw. But you must not do it for her however tempting it is.

Ryanstartedthefire22 · 05/05/2025 08:05

Yes id just give her your sketch and see if she wants to use it. Sorry accidently pressed you are being unreasonable but I don't think you are.

AgnesX · 05/05/2025 08:04

ocelot3 · 05/05/2025 07:38

As someone with a DC with adhd I have done this. Frankly, working in this field and knowing the variation of help for students between one school and another, variation in the standard of what goes on in schools, and variations in marking nationally, I would say don’t stress and just work with her to get the job done. It’s one tiny part of a bigger picture. When you think of the variation in advantage that goes on between different children in different schools from different households along with access to tutors, the playing field is very far from level! The only issue is if she or you says anything to the school to raise this as an issue. It’s a nightmare for students working against the tide with SEN trying to get things like this done at home. I would say take the stress off this time and support. Maybe suggest ‘let’s try it this way and if you then want to do it yourself afterwards then you can do’ if you then feel more confident’ to ensure it is has been ‘her decision’. Then she at least has some something to hand in.

Work WITH her, not DO it for her.

What's it going to achieve? You can't do it for her further down the line, at school, college or at work.

Edit: sorry missed the last post from OP