Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Manager Vaping in Work

62 replies

Mortimermay · 04/05/2025 22:29

My manager constantly vapes in the office I work in. He vapes all through meetings and quite often if you have to meet with him, it'll be in a small room with limited air flow which is full of vapour. He is aware its against company policy to do this inside as he doesn't do it in our main site where most employees work from.
I have nothing against people who vape, it doesn't bother me what they decide to do however I have asthma which is exacerbated by vapes. I have asked him repeatedly not to vape around me and explained why and he just ignores it or puts me in an awkward position in front of everyone by asking if it's OK. The last week was particularly bad as I had to have two extended meetings with him where the room was full of vapour before we even started and despite me asking him not to, he continued vaping anyway. I know that other colleagues find it irritating as well.
I really don't want to have to go to HR about this as we are a small team and he will know it was me which could make things difficult. On the other hand, I'm sick of asking him and sick of spending my evenings with a sore chest and wheezing due to spending hours confined in a vape filled room.
I can't understand why he thinks it's acceptable, aibu? And if I'm not, do I just start leaving the room every time he vapes after I've asked him not to or do I take the consequences and just report it to HR?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 12:11

27pilates · 05/05/2025 10:41

How is vaping even allowed on site? You say you’re in a union and have an occupational health dept, so it must be a big organisation…..does your manager own the company?

It's not allowed on site. That's why he doesn't do it in our other office but feels as though he can get away with it on our other site because there are less managers around. HR and our admin team are also based at the other office so he's on his best behaviour there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 12:07

Allthegoodhorses · 05/05/2025 10:08

God just reading this is making me cough. I can’t stand smoke or vape smoke. Makes me cough my guts up to the point of gagging. I’m an ex smoker too but I now have asthma following a chest infection. I’m quite wheezy. It’s is absolutely not ok to vape in front of people inside. You are not allowed to do it in most inside venues these days.

To be honest I’m not sure how you’ve tolerated it to date. I would absolutely be going to HR in your case. Does it say anything about smoking or vaping in your contract?

Yes, the policy is that people should go outside to smoke or vape. He just chooses to completely ignore it.

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 05/05/2025 12:07

can you open the windows and leave the door open
obviously what he is doing is completely wrong and selfish.
complain

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 05/05/2025 12:04

Obviously it is completely unacceptable. When he asks you in group meetings if it's ok, and you say no does no-one step in when he carries on regardless?

TY78910 · 05/05/2025 11:06

I’m actually surprised nobody else has ever pulled him up on it. Is it because they do the same and don’t want to ‘lose the privilege’? Why has nobody else complained!

noctilucentcloud · 05/05/2025 10:55

I think maybe say once more please do not vape, it's accerbating my asthma. Then when it's ignored, go to HR. Be very factual and state this has gone on x months, you've asked him multiple times to not do it because of your asthma (including this week) and your requests are being ignored. I'd then say how bad the vaping is (continuous, multiple rooms, during meetings etc) and then the affect on you (increased wheeziness, asthma clinic etc) and that the manager is aware of this.

He's forced you in to going to HR by being a dick (and incredibly unprofessional and unempathatic), its not fair you feel wheezy every night because of his actions. So please don't feel guilty, he's brought it on himself. That said, you could always ask HR what you should do if there's any difficulties or recriminations because of you contacting them (as he's likely to realise the complaint came from you).

27pilates · 05/05/2025 10:41

How is vaping even allowed on site? You say you’re in a union and have an occupational health dept, so it must be a big organisation…..does your manager own the company?

EBearhug · 05/05/2025 10:26

Every office I've been in in recent years hasn't allowed vaping in the office - like smoking, if you want to vape, you have to be outside the building. So I'd be trying to get HR to ban it inside the building. Obviously if he's the business owner as well as your manager, that will be trickier.

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 05/05/2025 10:26

Every time you walk out, and if he asks you if it’s ok in front of other people, you say no. He starts puffing, you loudly say, “I’m very sorry. I can’t breathe. I’ll have to leave”

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 05/05/2025 10:24

Leave. The. Room.

Ham it up with coughing and spluttering if you have to. No point saying “oh this is my boundary” if you aren’t going to enforce it.

Look, he’s in the wrong, but you’re dealing with a stubborn oaf here, so you’re going to have to ramp it up,

Left · 05/05/2025 10:23

Good to hear that you’re a member of a union - I’d contact them for advice on how to proceed.

Think about what you want the outcome to be, and what would be the best resolution for you.

Drearycommuter · 05/05/2025 10:18

I absolutely love vaping but this is completely bananas.

even if you didn’t have asthma it’s completely bananas to vape in a professional setting.

never mind putting you at risk. Unacceptable!

Allthegoodhorses · 05/05/2025 10:08

God just reading this is making me cough. I can’t stand smoke or vape smoke. Makes me cough my guts up to the point of gagging. I’m an ex smoker too but I now have asthma following a chest infection. I’m quite wheezy. It’s is absolutely not ok to vape in front of people inside. You are not allowed to do it in most inside venues these days.

To be honest I’m not sure how you’ve tolerated it to date. I would absolutely be going to HR in your case. Does it say anything about smoking or vaping in your contract?

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 09:57

PenelopeK · 05/05/2025 09:25

Do you absolutely have to be based where he is? If it suits you, I’m just wondering if you could ask HR/other manager to move to the office where you said he doesn’t vape. Then when you’re asked why, you explain the issues around your asthma (and his atrocious behaviour).

Ideally either they move you and you can only interact with him on phone/video/he visits and doesn’t vape, or they realise how much of an impact this is having on your current office and deal with him properly.

Unfortunately I have to be mostly based at the office where he vapes so it means I'm more likely to have contact with him there than in the other buildings.
I really didn't want to have to go down the HR route but I think I'm going to have to because he just isn't listening.

OP posts:
PenelopeK · 05/05/2025 09:25

Do you absolutely have to be based where he is? If it suits you, I’m just wondering if you could ask HR/other manager to move to the office where you said he doesn’t vape. Then when you’re asked why, you explain the issues around your asthma (and his atrocious behaviour).

Ideally either they move you and you can only interact with him on phone/video/he visits and doesn’t vape, or they realise how much of an impact this is having on your current office and deal with him properly.

CatsWhiskerz · 05/05/2025 09:08

People dont know the long term effects of vaping or second hand vape yet, but its policy to not bale so he mustn't do it. Can you start by opening a window and door for air flow, and leave saying it's making your chest tight?

I'd definitely go to HR too - you've told him enough times it's affecting your health

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 09:07

Balloonhearts · 05/05/2025 08:57

YABU for not sticking up for yourself. If he asks is this OK, just say no! 'No, I have asthma, remember. ' I can't see how that is a difficult situation.

Walk out of the room if he is vaping and be open about why. You don't have to be confrontational about it, just say that you can't be around him if he is vaping.

The problem is that I have told him repeatedly and I have also left the room at times but we still end up in the same situation every time we meet. It's as though he doesn't want to hear that this is an ongoing situation. He acts as though it wasn't OK on Tuesday but I might be better on Wednesday. Its also a bit of a power trip because he will ask me pointedly in a group meeting if I have an issue with it. Its just tiring to be honest. The other issue is that sometimes I do actually need to speak with him/meet with him and don't really have the option as he's likely to disappear or be caught up with something else.

OP posts:
ABrandNewFamily · 05/05/2025 09:07

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:07

Defo disrespectful and something you could report. That said, vapour usually dissipates almost immediately like steam so I'm surprised it's building up in the room. I used to vape in the work van seconds before pulling into the office car park to pick up my boss. Nobody ever noticed.

They'll definitely have noticed, unless you used non- flavoured vapes.

littlebilliie · 05/05/2025 09:01

I would document I and raise as a grievance to HR

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 09:01

BlueMum16 · 05/05/2025 08:40

I would email him and put in writing your concerns and document what he is doing is against company policy and making younill.

I would then ask for a referral to occupational health if you have one.

Finally tell him not to vape when you are next meeting in a meeting room and if he continues leave

You need to tackle this head on. He is completely in the wrong.

Do you have a Trade Union to support you?

Occupational health might be a good idea actually. The thing is he knows that my asthma has worsened because I told him I'd been given a stronger inhaler and he knows that I've had to go to the Asthma Clinic twice recently due to this. I think its an element of selfishness and a complete lack of understanding of what asthma is. Once when I asked him not to vape as it was likely to set off my asthma he just said well let me know if you're going to have an asthma attack before it happens! It doesn't work like that! That was me letting you know when I asked you not to do it.
I am a member of the Union. That's a good idea as well.

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 05/05/2025 08:57

YABU for not sticking up for yourself. If he asks is this OK, just say no! 'No, I have asthma, remember. ' I can't see how that is a difficult situation.

Walk out of the room if he is vaping and be open about why. You don't have to be confrontational about it, just say that you can't be around him if he is vaping.

ACynicalDad · 05/05/2025 08:43

Start your video, say on camera you can’t stay in the room with him vaping, walk out. Try next meeting, repeat if needed, send to HR when you have 3 or 4.

BlueMum16 · 05/05/2025 08:40

I would email him and put in writing your concerns and document what he is doing is against company policy and making younill.

I would then ask for a referral to occupational health if you have one.

Finally tell him not to vape when you are next meeting in a meeting room and if he continues leave

You need to tackle this head on. He is completely in the wrong.

Do you have a Trade Union to support you?

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 08:31

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:07

Defo disrespectful and something you could report. That said, vapour usually dissipates almost immediately like steam so I'm surprised it's building up in the room. I used to vape in the work van seconds before pulling into the office car park to pick up my boss. Nobody ever noticed.

You can't see it in the air but it definitely lingers, particularly in a small room with the door and window closed over several hours. The problem is that he vapes almost constantly, it's not just a few puffs here and there and he has one of the ones that let out huge clouds of vapour as well. One of my colleagues had said she can tell which rooms he's been in by the smell of the vape left behind, which is true.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 05/05/2025 03:05

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:16

Are your colleagues allowed to wear perfume or aftershave?

Show quote history

I rarely go into the office. When I do, I have to ask that no one wears any fragrance. I can’t be around it at all.

it counts as a disability in my case

Swipe left for the next trending thread