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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for wanting a little bit of privacy?

57 replies

SingleRoo123 · 04/05/2025 19:44

Hi 👋 My daughter takes my phone without me knowing or she will just grab it from me to check on Instagram or X/Twitter for example. She looks through my photos and looks on my apps. She is almost 13. I’m single and have joined all the usual dating apps. My daughter goes into them or checks my messages and starts asking about them or who a certain guy is. AIBU to want a little bit of privacy? I am constantly guarding my phone and hiding apps. I have set up Face ID for some of the apps so she can’t get into them but it doesn’t really make a difference as she knows my passcode. My life is basically not my own to be honest. I have spoken with DD and asked her to stop taking my phone but it’s like talking to a brick wall. I am even hesitant to post this in case she takes my phone and checks my emails and sees I have posted this. Any advice would be appreciated 😊

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Inactive · 05/05/2025 02:51

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ttcat37 · 05/05/2025 02:06

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“I’ve been online for a long time”

Best get to beddy byes then.

Vaxtable · 05/05/2025 02:04

I said Yabu. And you are for allowing your child to access your phone. Change the passcode and don’t let her use the phone it’s as simple as that

be the adult

Inactive · 05/05/2025 02:00

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ttcat37 · 05/05/2025 02:00

In case she is reading your replies through your email, here’s a message: give the phone back nosey and let your mum have some privacy!

ilovesooty · 05/05/2025 01:35

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Reported.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 05/05/2025 01:18

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I'm listening!

Inactive · 05/05/2025 01:09

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MiloMinderbinder925 · 05/05/2025 01:07

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You're spitting pearls! I'm taking notes.

Inactive · 05/05/2025 00:58

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UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 05/05/2025 00:56

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Hi, lol I’m a teen pretty rare find on here. F 14.

Nah, not that rare.

Although many 'F 14' posters and similar have been banned over the years for trolling, oh and for calling other members 'actual assholes'.

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 05/05/2025 00:51

KhakiOrca · 04/05/2025 22:51

She obviously thinks it is normal behaviour, since that's what she has seen from your ex

She's 13, not 3 🙄

And since her mother keeps telling her to stop, she'll be under no false illusion that it's 'normal behaviour'.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 05/05/2025 00:51

Can you use fingerprint ID?

Inactive · 05/05/2025 00:48

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Inactive · 05/05/2025 00:40

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Branleuse · 04/05/2025 22:54

Tell her " new rule. Dont touch my fucking phone".

Has she got her own phone?

KhakiOrca · 04/05/2025 22:51

She obviously thinks it is normal behaviour, since that's what she has seen from your ex

BoIIocks · 04/05/2025 22:29

Have you tried, maybe… parenting her?

VickyEadieofThigh · 04/05/2025 22:16

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 04/05/2025 22:14

Silly thread.

Isn't it?

PinkyFlamingo · 04/05/2025 22:14

SingleRoo123 · 04/05/2025 19:52

I’ve commented about why changing passcodes is hard for me. Love your username by the way 😂

Dont be so ridiculous! Wake up and parent for the love of god

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 04/05/2025 22:14

Silly thread.

pizzaHeart · 04/05/2025 22:13

Look at it differently. You need to teach your DD that taking and checking someone’s phone without asking is not ok. It’s a sign of control and abuse. So tackle it before she gets herself into trouble with friends.
Also she might need a bit of extra reassurance about how you love her and less info about your dating life. She is probably worried that’s why she is checking.

MereNoelle · 04/05/2025 22:13

SingleRoo123 · 04/05/2025 19:52

I’ve commented about why changing passcodes is hard for me. Love your username by the way 😂

Sometimes you have to do hard things.

JandamiHash · 04/05/2025 22:08

SingleRoo123 · 04/05/2025 19:52

I’ve commented about why changing passcodes is hard for me. Love your username by the way 😂

But it’s not impossible? And it’s the obvious solution

VickyEadieofThigh · 04/05/2025 22:06

I can't be the only one reflecting on what my mother's response would've been to me taking ANYTHING out of her hand or without permission. I never dared - but it would only have happened once...