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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you’re sounding the horn all the time you’re the one with the problem?!

37 replies

cadburyegg · 04/05/2025 19:38

Whilst driving home today there was a queue at a junction. We were all turning right and there was lots of traffic travelling fast in both directions, so it took awhile to pull out. I was about third in line when the driver of the car behind me started sounding their horn. Carried on doing this with each car in front. It got to my turn and sure enough after a minute or so the driver started up again. There really hadn’t been any chance for me to go! I looked in my rearview mirror and they (and their passenger) were gesticulating rudely.

i see so many impatient drivers but AIBU to think if you’re beeping your horn at everyone then maybe you’re the one with the issue and you need to be more patient?! I don’t understand this complete lack of self awareness. I can’t remember the last time I used my horn!

OP posts:
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LlynTegid · 05/05/2025 19:26

OP I think you are being kind. Someone who sounds the horn once or twice to make others aware of possible danger is being sensible. Someone who repeatedly sounds the horn in the manner described is unfit mentally to be driving.

Pinkissmart · 05/05/2025 19:24

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

See, I think it's rude NOT to sing the bell as a warning- otherwise how will people know a cyclist is coming up behind them?

Sunbline · 05/05/2025 15:32

I'm always confused why people do this, it's not like people are sitting waiting for fun, and if someone is apprehensive about pulling out/waiting for a larger than safely needed gap then honking a horn is only going to make it worse as it'll put them on edge even more. I've only honked if it's something that's needed immediate attention from the other driver for safety.

Katemax82 · 05/05/2025 15:30

feelingbleh · 04/05/2025 19:42

Yanbu I could count on one hand the amount of times iv beeped my horn in 15 years of driving. It's there to warn other drivers of dangers not because your inpatient as it doesn't help it just stresses people out and a way of drivers to bully other road users.

The purpose of the horn is to tell other drivers "i am here"

MilesOfMotivation · 05/05/2025 15:27

There are some drivers who deserve a good blast of the horn! It's not about being impatient - increasingly it seems there are people driving that clearly have no business doing so.

But yeah cyclists singing their bell at me, can get in the bin. Just say "excuse me".

Badbadbunny · 05/05/2025 12:51

Brefugee · 05/05/2025 10:18

i live in a country where cycling is the norm, usually there are cycle paths, sometimes shared and sometimes bikes must use the road.

But it is very clear to everyone that when on a shared path you ding your bell to alert people to your presence. On shared paths: sensible pedestrians then make sure they are not spread across the entire width of the path, so the bike can pass. Most cyclists then say "thank you" as they pass. If it's a split path, with no barrier, but clear markings, cyclists will only ding the bell if the pedestrians are on the cycle path (and then to be fair, if they don't move out of the way they are likely to curse at best, plough on regardless at worst. Where there is a barrier, pedestrians on the cycle path for no reason are seen as fair game - but cyclists ring their bells. if you ride a bike anywhere other than private roads, the law says you must have a bell and lights.

In the country next door they just weave around the pedestrians. Who are outnumbered by bikes mostly. There the advice for pedestrians is always continue on your trajectory, the cyclists will take account of your movement and adjust accordingly.

Fully agree with all that. It's how both pedestrians and cyclists should behave around each other. Trouble is, that lots of pedestrians and lots of cyclists don't understand how to "share" a footpath and think they have sole rights and that their needs trump the needs of other users. It applies to BOTH cyclists and walkers.

Badbadbunny · 05/05/2025 12:49

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

I "commute" to/from work every day either walking or cycling. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a little "ding" to tell a pedestrian you're there - it's exactly what the bell is for. I'm constantly ringing my bell when the footpath is busy, not to expect walkers to leap out of my way, but to tell them I'm there and passing so not to jay-walk nor let their dog go into me - I cycle at pretty slow speeds, not a Lycra-lout. When I'm walking, I appreciate a ding from a bike behind so that I know they're there and about to pass - I don't leap out of their way or change my course at all as I already always walk on one side/edge or other of the footpath so I already know there's room for them to pass - I'd just rather know they were there.

What IS a problem is jay-walking walkers, ramblers in "packs" taking up the entire footpath, idiot dog walkers with dogs on long leads blocking the entire path, AND, idiot cyclists thinking they can do 20-25 mph on a shared narrow footpath, ringing aggressively to "tell" people to get out of their way, etc.

There are idiotic/moronic walkers just as there are idiotic/moronic cyclists. A bike bell, like a car horn, should be used, as per Highway Code, as a "I'm here" message/warning, not an aggressive "get out of my way" instruction! Used properly, nothing wrong with using either IN THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES and for the right reasons.

Brefugee · 05/05/2025 10:18

i live in a country where cycling is the norm, usually there are cycle paths, sometimes shared and sometimes bikes must use the road.

But it is very clear to everyone that when on a shared path you ding your bell to alert people to your presence. On shared paths: sensible pedestrians then make sure they are not spread across the entire width of the path, so the bike can pass. Most cyclists then say "thank you" as they pass. If it's a split path, with no barrier, but clear markings, cyclists will only ding the bell if the pedestrians are on the cycle path (and then to be fair, if they don't move out of the way they are likely to curse at best, plough on regardless at worst. Where there is a barrier, pedestrians on the cycle path for no reason are seen as fair game - but cyclists ring their bells. if you ride a bike anywhere other than private roads, the law says you must have a bell and lights.

In the country next door they just weave around the pedestrians. Who are outnumbered by bikes mostly. There the advice for pedestrians is always continue on your trajectory, the cyclists will take account of your movement and adjust accordingly.

JKFan · 05/05/2025 09:35

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

I had a pedestrian complain once that I hadn’t rung to alert her when we were on a shared path. As there was plenty of room to go round her I hadn’t thought to do so, but she wanted to be made aware that I was there.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 05/05/2025 09:18

Namechangeforthis88 · 05/05/2025 09:15

Just call out "bike on your left" or "bike on your right".

Very common on the narrow shared towpath near me. People move aside if they need to. Sometimes cyclists just need to be patient. Most cyclists save their bells for other cyclists, just to let them know they're coming where you can't see ahead.

So what exactly is the point of a bell then? Honestly people get offended at the most ridiculous things.

StrawberrySquash · 05/05/2025 09:15

StrawberrySquash · 05/05/2025 09:14

YABU, OP. If there's a nervous driver in front of you the worst thing to do is make them more so by beeping your horn! I don't mind a quick toot if the lights turn green and I appear not to have noticed as that's my fault. But I don't do it personally as you risk the person panicking and driving off as the lights go red.

Sorry YABNU!!

Namechangeforthis88 · 05/05/2025 09:15

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 04/05/2025 20:25

See this I don’t get. How am I supposed to alert them to my presence then?!

Just call out "bike on your left" or "bike on your right".

Very common on the narrow shared towpath near me. People move aside if they need to. Sometimes cyclists just need to be patient. Most cyclists save their bells for other cyclists, just to let them know they're coming where you can't see ahead.

StrawberrySquash · 05/05/2025 09:14

YABU, OP. If there's a nervous driver in front of you the worst thing to do is make them more so by beeping your horn! I don't mind a quick toot if the lights turn green and I appear not to have noticed as that's my fault. But I don't do it personally as you risk the person panicking and driving off as the lights go red.

StrawberrySquash · 05/05/2025 09:10

SnakesAndArrows · 04/05/2025 20:31

If you’re approaching a pedestrian from behind on a shared path you absolutely should sound your bell. Cyclists who pass without making their presence known well in advance are a menace.

The bell tells me not to suddenly veer left or whatever while they are passing. Long as it's politely done I welcome a bell; it helps us share the space sensibly.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 05/05/2025 09:07

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

Well you should, I'm perplexed as to why you wouldn't warn pedestrians of your approach.

Throwingitallaway24 · 05/05/2025 09:04

I had this last week, fast flowing traffic from the right of me on a busy roundabout and it’s as simple as you just have to wait for a good gap. I only drive a C1 and had my toddler in the back so can’t just pull off quickly all the time and wouldn’t take the risk with her in the car anyway. Two men in high vis in a car behind me beeped me for not going (genuinely wouldn’t have made it across in my car!) called me a stupid cunt out of their window and then when I did proceed they followed close behind and beeped at me all the way around the roundabout. Wish I’d remembered the reg but didn’t. But they’re the ones with the issue I do that roundabout daily and have done for the last 8 months, never had any sort of incident before that.

Seeingadistance · 05/05/2025 09:00

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:26

If there is room to pass you don't need to

I don't always walk in a straight line though - I might move to one side or the other as I walk along, maybe to look at something or to avoid something on the path. Pedestrians are not stationary objects!

SnakesAndArrows · 05/05/2025 08:57

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:25

If It's implausible to pass they should loiter behind. If it's plausible they can just pass

As I said, cyclists who do this are a menace. Have some respect for people who don’t want to be surprised by you suddenly appearing at their shoulder.

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:36

faerietales · 04/05/2025 20:15

That's just good manners, isn't it? Confused

Maybe some like it, I don't

malmi · 05/05/2025 08:34

There are signs on the canal towpath telling cyclists to ding twice and pass nice. It’s just a way of making sure walkers stay on one side or the other of the path. For everyone’s safety.

SunnySideDeepDown · 05/05/2025 08:27

Id have stuck my reverse lights on. Then intentionally have taken longer! better yet, I’d they could see me, I’d laugh.

They have anger problems and are trying to intimidate you. Silly twats (them).

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:26

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 04/05/2025 20:25

See this I don’t get. How am I supposed to alert them to my presence then?!

If there is room to pass you don't need to

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:25

SnakesAndArrows · 04/05/2025 20:31

If you’re approaching a pedestrian from behind on a shared path you absolutely should sound your bell. Cyclists who pass without making their presence known well in advance are a menace.

If It's implausible to pass they should loiter behind. If it's plausible they can just pass

SnakesAndArrows · 04/05/2025 20:31

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

If you’re approaching a pedestrian from behind on a shared path you absolutely should sound your bell. Cyclists who pass without making their presence known well in advance are a menace.

Yatzydog · 04/05/2025 20:30

I got dinged today and it was a definite "get out of my way", otherwise they would have slowed down.