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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to suggest DH should leave the house a bit later so we can travel to work together?

88 replies

BlackNGold · 04/05/2025 18:49

DH and I work for the same company. In two weeks, there’s a couple of days I am going to be working from his office. He likes to leave a little earlier to beat the rush hour traffic - by his own admission he doesn’t have any calls until 9 and spends the start of his day browsing the internet.
I start later than him so would arrive very earlier if I was to go in with him at his usual time. AIBU to ask him to leave a little earlier so he can take me in - we will both start on time but he says the journey will take him about 15 minutes longer due to traffic. This is his gripe, not that he needs to be in the office earlier to do anything. I would get the bus if he can’t take me in.

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 04/05/2025 19:17

I think go early with him and then go get a coffee and have some time to yourself before you start your day. He's the lift so I think in this instance it's his perogative when he leaves.

Mulledjuice · 04/05/2025 19:16

Yabu. How much earlier are we talking?

WallaceinAnderland · 04/05/2025 19:15

You should be the one to go in earlier rather than expecting him to go in later.

Spirallingdownwards · 04/05/2025 19:13

Just go in early and slot into his routine.

babasaclover · 04/05/2025 19:12

Have to say if you won’t drive yourself you need to fit into his routine. Driving in rush hour traffic is a horrible start to the day - I always avoid

Lucia573 · 04/05/2025 19:11

Go early with him. Take a walk, have a coffee, whatever.

MadeleineAllbright · 04/05/2025 19:10

Go in earlier with him and go for a walk when you get there. I’m not sure why you expect him to adjust to your schedule rather than the other way round.

DappledThings · 04/05/2025 19:09

He doesn't need to make himself later than he likes to suit you. You're the one trying to fit into his routine so you should be the one to adjust. You want a lift then be ready when he is.

DaisyChain505 · 04/05/2025 19:07

He has a routine that he is used to and likes. You’re the one coming into his routine and space so you fit around him.

If you don’t like it drive separately.

Overthebow · 04/05/2025 19:05

Why don’t you go in early with him? I can see why he doesn’t want to drive in rush hour traffic if he doesn’t have to.

Ponderingwindow · 04/05/2025 19:03

Why can’t you just go in a bit early and get started on your day the same as him?

DelphiniumBlue · 04/05/2025 19:01

This is your husband, he's being difficult about giving you a lift to the place where you both work??
However you could compromise and get there early, go for a walk or a coffee or something.

Meadowfinch · 04/05/2025 18:54

I'm always in the office early and hate being later. It would mean I start the day in a rush.

I get in early, make a coffee, read my overnight emails, check my schedule for the day, sort out any paperwork I need. That half hour earlier means my day is ordered and calm.

I can see why your DH isn't keen. Would it be a big financial saving?