AIBU to suggest DH should leave the house a bit later so we can travel to work together?

get a jump on your 10k steps! Share the lift, chat in the car and enjoy a new routine for a couple of days

This has got to be a wind up.

You can go in with him and either

• crack on with some admin for work
• get a coffee and faff around on your phone
• go out for breakfast nearby
• take a book
• go for a walk

Just weird to want to make your dh sit in traffic when he prefers not to, and arrive 'just in time' rather than the calm start to his morning he is used to.

Such a weird request.

The level of entitlement people seem to have really winds me up - “Can you do something for me but if you can’t do it at my convenience then YABU and of course I cannot possibly inconvenience myself even slightly”

Sure so why can’t OP be more flexible for her husband for the TWO DAYS

This is his gripe, not that he needs to be in the office earlier to do anything

But your gripe is that you don’t want to go in earlier but still want a lift so expect him to change his routine?
I am not sure why your convenience is more important that his.

I would get the bus if he can’t take me in
He can take you in, your just need to leave earlier than you like to. If you don’t want to leave early then get the bus.

If you go with him, 20 mins earlier, you could bring your makeup and do it in the car, bring a coffee in a travel cup, even some breakfast, a book, and have a lovely relaxing hour in the car before your working day. I’d much rather do that than navigate public transport or sit in traffic feeling stressed

Mine leaves earlier to fit in with me. Means he has to spend some time drinking coffee at work rather than demanding I cut it fine and never have the chance to sit going through my inbox without any interruptions.

Leaving 5 minutes later can make a journey more than 5 minutes longer, if you want to travel together then you need to leave earlier.

Is this a wind up? You’re only going to be working from his office, for a couple of days. Get the lift with DH as per his usual routine!! Then get a coffee and chill out. Stay sat in the car if needs be and look at your phone for a bit etc, before u go in. sounds like you’d be late if you got the bus, and what’s the point for the sake of being 20 min early (which a lot of people are on a normal day)

She seems very rigid and curmudgeonly to demand that her husband get stuck in worse traffic and risk being late for his job so that she doesn't have to put herself out to a very mild degree and sit with a coffee and a book for a short period of time.

Yeah YABU.

Ah. To me leaving later, potentially getting caught in traffic and missing my relaxed easing into the work day time, potentially even ending up late if traffic gets really bad is far bigger a deal than getting there early and having a coffee and reading a book for a bit.

Yes, but her two options seem (to me, at any rate) to be worse than his. Hanging around for an hour or getting the bus. I’d put myself out a bit for a couple of days so DH could swerve that, and if we’re going to be all transactional about it, no doubt a situation would arise where I could repay him. Though a transactional relationship sounds like a non-starter to me.

But it's as much one person putting themselves out as the other. The one who usually leaves early could put themselves out and change their routine for 2 days or the one who doesn't usually go in early could put themselves out and go early for 2 days.

Not sure why the OP in this situation isn't expected to be the one to change the routine and the DH is. Both would he doing each other a favour. The swing is that if the DH goes later he has a potentially shitter journey and ends up late. The OP might just have some time to kill.

I ran this scenario past DH and while he agreed it would be a bit of a pain with the extra traffic and yes, perhaps she should fit in with him, “of course I would do it for 2 days.” So there you go. Happy to be in the minority on this one with a decent marriage where doing each others favours here and there is no biggie and doesn’t mean the world falls off its axis.

I get to work about an hour early and browse on my phone until I start to slowly see what's what for the shift about 30mins before it starts so by the time it starts, I'm ready to go. I was told by someone senior when I was very junior that you'll be less tired and more switched on if you come in earlier. It sounded crazy to me as it meant less sleep but from the very first day I saw it was the best way to go.

My partner would be getting the bus, or coming in at my time.

Not if it means gets stuck in traffic
if I leave 15m later traffic is awful

You should go in early. I would take a nap for that hour or read/surf the internet.

And wouldn’t he have to wait for you after work since his start is earlier?

Why don't you leave earlier and do something productive with that extra time?

It’s unfair to ask him to leave later and change his routine plus spend time sat in traffic he’d usually miss. You have to fit in with him here if you want to travel together so if he doesn’t want to leave later then you either go to work earlier or get the bus

By the same token OP could put up with an idle hour at work in the morning for TWO DAYS to help her spouse out by keeping to his routine.

Personally I’d like to get in earlier to browse mn and drink tea get a head start on my day. I think you should fit round him.

1 day go early.
1 day go at your preferred time?

But tbh - for 2 days just go early if you want a lift.

God forbid OP should be expected to fit in with his routine when it's her who needs a favour.

Well, if I was relying on my partner for a lift, I wouldn't dream of asking them to change their routine for me. That seems pretty entitled, no?