Meeting ow in a group setting

There’s not enough money in the world to make me stay with someone who’d willingly
step out on our marriage & family to get his dick wet.

And from someone who did grow up with parents who probably thought exactly what you do, stay together, don’t give the kids a broken home, what happens is that your kids grow up with a very warped sense of what a healthy relationship looks like. One day one of those kids comes home upset that their boyfriend or girlfriend has cheated on them and neither parent can do the “you deserve better, leave them and walk away” because one of them is a cheat and one of them forgave a cheat, so both would be complete hypocrites to preach otherwise. And that’s before you consider what it does to the person who chose to stay, the anxiety, the worry, the panic every time they’re 15 minutes later home than planned, wondering if they’re really at the gym or somewhere else, whether that “business trip” is really business, whether that beep on the phone is genuinely Dominos sending an offer through or another woman, it completely destroys you as a person and turns you into someone you don’t even recognise. And you do all that, you go through it all, and then a few years later you start to feel better, a bit more normal, you don’t worry so much about the slightly late meetings or the random gym session and just as you feel like you’ve got your feet back on the ground you find out it’s happening again. This time you really do feel the fool because you gave it the green light the first time by staying, so why wouldn’t it happen again?

Nobody is saying it’s easy to leave, but God it is far far harder to stay.

Well OP. I think for me, I agree you say nothing.

you made your choice to stay. We don’t know the full details of that.

for openness, I could not have done that, not a chance. But we are all different.

i agree with you that I don’t understand why women do this, and I get that you are desperately trying to equalise blame to him.

ultimately, you have chosen to continue your marriage. So go for it. Hold your head high, be you, and it never happened.

He's humiliating himself.

I don’t know how you can tell from the thread and the little we know about op and her husband. We’re simply not privy to that information.

And you know what they say about assuming.

I am not shaming anyone, I am just telling what it would look like if I was one of the colleagues, witnessing OP humiliating herself by saying something to the AP. You probably like dipping her head in the toilet, better, that would show class, wouldn't it?

And don’t be overly affectionate with your husband…don’t hang off his arm and throw yourself at him, you’ll look obvious and desperate. Channel your Kate Middleton, occasional happy glances and smiles at him, look independent, happy and confident. Wear something that looks lovely, but doesn’t scream ‘I’m trying too hard’. You don’t want to appear threatened.

He didn’t tell Op, she found out.

I’m all for second chances if someone’s remorseful. Something tells me that’s not the case here…

Anyone who stays using the excuse of a broken home is completely failing to acknowledge that the children’s home is already irrevocably damaged. They will sense the atmosphere, the lack of trust, the suspicions, the tension. Is that a better way to grow up? I’ve got a few friends whose parents “stayed together for the kids” (and often for financial gain). Every single one without exception wishes they hadn’t.

This is true though. He should be taking you out for dinner instead and actually move jobs.

All you have left is your dignity. Keep hold of it.

Ignore! I would NEVER give her the satisfaction. Make sure you look the best you ever have!!

Honestly, I would act as if she was invisible. I wouldn't acknowledge her in any way.

Will anyone else there know about the affair?

How long did it go on for?

I would not go personally - why do? So that everybody in the office would be pointing to me and saying 'this is this person who took him back'? I would not go and tell him not to go or else. Invent a prior engagement.

Anyone who says things like this completely misses what a hard decision is actually is, when their children to grow up in a broken home, the loss in finances, etc. Don't be a simp.

Read above.

He's embarrassing you by taking you to this event. If he was serious about his marriage, he wouldn't go - or expect you to. But you'd rather let rip on her than look at that, I guess.

She’s already been the victim of cheating, that is my point. She’s not a victim for staying, she has made an informed choice, it might not be your choice but it’s hers and seeing her as ‘less than’ for doing that is sad. She’s in pain and all many of you are doing is shaming her, it’s nasty.

Anyone, male or female, who stays in these circumstances, is a volunteer not a victim. Would you want your sister or best friend to stay married to this man?

If no one ever stayed with or went out with a cheater, then the world would be filled with far, far more single men than there are now. And they’d stay single, because second chances wouldn’t exist.

Not every man who cheats, goes on to cheat again. Some can change. People can change. Op has decided to give her husband that second chance. She doesn’t deserve to be harangued because of that. It’s her choice and posters don’t have to like it.

Since the ho-ho likes secret nastiness so much, catch up with her in the ladies' room, where there are no cameras. Then give her a swirly. Oh yeah! 😂

swirly (noun):

a prank that involves immersing someone's head in a toilet bowl as it is flushed.

(Cue simps bleating and whining in the voice of Mr. Hanky, The Christmas Poo).

No obviously ideally not using harsh language but if those were my choices I’d want a friend to call me pathetic and snap me out of it rather than letting me be pathetic and live my life with a cheat.

OP doesn't have to be a victim, it's her own choice to stay with a cheater. He most likely will cheat again.

That is so gross. True, but repugnant.

She probably did consider the fact he was married and had children. She probably would have felt bad. But the urge to shag your husband was greater than the feeling of guilt to a woman she’s never met.

Be a bit awkward if you make a sly dig to find your dh spun her a load of lies and implied you’d broken up or similar 🤷‍♀️
unless of course you’ve seen all the correspondence between them and she was relentless in snaring him although I’m unsure why he doesn’t sound like a catch… just a cheat 🐆