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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbours child constantly over the garden fence

111 replies

AmIRetirementAgeYet · 04/05/2025 18:20

AIBU

My neighbour's child is constantly climbing the fence and perching their head over to talk to myself and my child throughout the day.

They are constantly listening out for the door to open or close and shout hello as soon as one of us comes out into the garden. Then they climb the fence to talk to us.

Now I don’t mind a chat but this child is constantly interrupting our conversations or play. Asking to come over to join us or asking where my child is and if he wants to play.

My child will often go inside because he gets no peace or let up from this child even when he says he does not want to play. The parents leave this child to their own devices a lot of the time but even when they are in the garden they do not ask their child to get down and stop bothering us.

What would you do in this situation? It is making us very uncomfortable but we don’t want to be rude either.

OP posts:
Ethelflaedofmercia · 05/05/2025 23:17

Water pistol to the trap, job done 👍

Original poster
AmIRetirementAgeYet · 05/05/2025 23:03

GeorgianaM · 05/05/2025 18:58

Hosepipe. Child begone .

He would actually really enjoy this

OP posts:
RubyRubyRubyRubyAhAhAhAhAhAaaah · 05/05/2025 21:40

Messaging the parents sounds fine to me. Unless you see them regularly, it's more casual to just text them than to march round and knock on the door. Depends on the neighbourhood though as I know some people casually pop over to the neighbours (I would rather die - JK...kind of)

You've tried gently telling him to go away. I don't actually think you should get really stern or rude with him personally. He's only a little kid. Message his parents who seem to ignore him most of the time, which is just sad

Crazysunsetdramaqueen · 05/05/2025 21:40

My next door neighbour did this as a pathetic attempt to intimidate us into going through with, and fully paying for a higher fence! Honestly it takes all sorts! They're probably looking for free childcare care from you, so that they don't have to entertain their own child. I'd say to the child, "Can you please not look over the fence, you could fall, and we're having some private time in our garden at the moment." If the child keeps doing it say, "Could you please go get your Mummy or Daddy?" Then have a polite word op.

RinkyDinkDrink · 05/05/2025 21:36

‘Don’t climb the fence please sweetheart / name of child you might hurt yourself or break it, you can talk to us when we’re at the front of the house.’

RinkyDinkDrink · 05/05/2025 21:34

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 16:57

But you have been told/advised on what to do - yet here you are procrastinating because you cant handle a neighbours spoilt kid?

As said, spikes and nails on the fence.

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Luckily, there’s no requirement for her to take batshit advice.

RinkyDinkDrink · 05/05/2025 21:32

nomas · 05/05/2025 15:48

You’re just looking for excuses not to say anything. You’ve been given suggestions which you’ve ignored.

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Oh give over, she’s trying to work out what to do. She’s not ignoring suggestions although I’d argue quite a few suggestions and in fact, posts, should be.

WinterMorn · 05/05/2025 20:01

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 19:54

People and animals get hurt all the time.

Big deal.

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You have to be on a wind up now.

SunnySideDeepDown · 05/05/2025 19:56

“Hi child, we’re having private family time now so please climb down and we’ll speak later”.

Say it loudly when parents in earshot.

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 19:54

ilovesooty · 05/05/2025 18:57

Obviously what you call it and what I call it are two different things.

And I am concerned by the fact that people and animals might be hurt. Nothing "pseudo" about it. Your goading isn't going to tempt me into being uncivil to you either.

Show quote history

People and animals get hurt all the time.

Big deal.

GeorgianaM · 05/05/2025 18:58

Hosepipe. Child begone .

ilovesooty · 05/05/2025 18:57

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 18:20

Deliberate and malicious?

😂

I'd call it preventative. But you do you with your pseudo concerns...

Show quote history

Obviously what you call it and what I call it are two different things.

And I am concerned by the fact that people and animals might be hurt. Nothing "pseudo" about it. Your goading isn't going to tempt me into being uncivil to you either.

WinterMorn · 05/05/2025 18:45

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 18:39

Overuse?

I used the word twice.

Sorry that you cannot seem to be able to handle that.

Edited
Show quote history

And back to the first part of my question?

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 18:39

WinterMorn · 05/05/2025 18:21

What’s wrong with you, apart from your overuse of ‘pseudo’?

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Overuse?

I used the word twice.

Sorry that you cannot seem to be able to handle that.

WinterMorn · 05/05/2025 18:21

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 18:20

Deliberate and malicious?

😂

I'd call it preventative. But you do you with your pseudo concerns...

Show quote history

What’s wrong with you, apart from your overuse of ‘pseudo’?

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 18:20

ilovesooty · 05/05/2025 17:54

Potholes are not created deliberately or maliciously.

Your suggestion is both deliberate and malicious.

And please go away with the sneering "pseudo outrage" comments.

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Deliberate and malicious?

😂

I'd call it preventative. But you do you with your pseudo concerns...

blueleavesgreensky · 05/05/2025 18:20

HelplessSoul · 04/05/2025 18:37

And that would be my defence - spikes/nails there as a deterrant.

If a kid gets injured - tough really. Parents should be doing a better job of parenting their feral brats.

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The more I see your comments the more I like you 🙂‍↕️

IdaGlossop · 05/05/2025 18:13

HelplessSoul · 04/05/2025 18:23

Put spikes / nails on the fence.

Problem solved.

Why not an electric fence?

RandomMess · 05/05/2025 18:11

As it’s your fence it puts you in a better position to speak to the parents and explain he is damaging your fence as well as interrupting your family time.

2catsandhappy · 05/05/2025 18:03

Angle a parasol? Fake bamboo in a pot? Gazebo?

You'll have to say something. No way I would let a child climb up my fence. Little boys get bigger. Tell his parents that if he damages the fence they will be paying for a new panel and instalation.

Carpetty · 05/05/2025 18:03

I think you need to text the neighbour and say two things.
He is a nice little fellow BUT

  1. He is risking his safety and damage to the fence by constantly being on it. Please adk him to stop climbing on OUR fence.
  2. You would like to be able to enjoy time in your garden without your time with your son being constantly interrupted by him.
  3. We would like some privacy.
We appreciate your understanding.

If they want to fall out that is on him.
They are shit parents that clearly just leave him on his own.
That is not your issue or responsibility.
You want some peace in your own garden.
You are entitled to it.

If you can afford it look at blocking his view somehow. Perhaps putting some posts up and some sails to block his view.

I know he's just a child and I feel for him, but this must be so annoying.

ilovesooty · 05/05/2025 17:54

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 17:48

Do you share this same pseudo outrage at potholes - equally harmful to people/animals etc?

🤦‍♂️

Show quote history

Potholes are not created deliberately or maliciously.

Your suggestion is both deliberate and malicious.

And please go away with the sneering "pseudo outrage" comments.

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 17:48

ilovesooty · 05/05/2025 17:34

I'm disgusted by the suggestion of putting spikes and nails on the fence. Why risk injury to people or animals when you could just have a conversation?

Show quote history

Do you share this same pseudo outrage at potholes - equally harmful to people/animals etc?

🤦‍♂️

ilovesooty · 05/05/2025 17:34

HelplessSoul · 05/05/2025 16:57

But you have been told/advised on what to do - yet here you are procrastinating because you cant handle a neighbours spoilt kid?

As said, spikes and nails on the fence.

Show quote history

I'm disgusted by the suggestion of putting spikes and nails on the fence. Why risk injury to people or animals when you could just have a conversation?

MrsCarson · 05/05/2025 17:14

I'd open and close the door frequently when no one is going outside just to annoy the kid.
Then do a lot of watering when they pop up, especially the side where they live.
Any questions I'd ignore completely.