DH said he's leaving because I'm having another drink

So rude!?!

Sounds like you have worked your ars€ off to prepare the day, but also sounds like you might not be sharing the full story.
If you have another drink he goes? How many you’ve had previously and what’s your relationship with alcohol?

I had a very similar story to you. I also had great trouble expressing myself healthily. I was (and still am to some degree, although improving) a people pleaser by nature and had low self esteem (still low,but much better) so I'd keep smiling, say nothing and put up with things I shouldn't, take on too much, not say no when I should. Then I'd drink (too much) to escape how I felt - turn into a cow. Then back to square one.

Its horribly uncomfortable for me to say what I really think, to say no, to put in boundaries , but I can do it at the times I really need to. The more you do it, the easier it gets. I'm a work in progress for sure. But being tee total means I don't have to have my self esteem pummeled into the floor further and actually have an ounce of self respect.

I sympathise, @Swimswimmswimswimswim
My husband had a huge family and due to his job we moved several times.
His family would visit - all summer long, in shifts. One group would come for a week and then I’d have a week off to clean house and stock up on groceries and liquor for the next group. I loved them dearly but it was exhausting. And we flew through the money.
Drinking (which I certainly did) was the least of the issues.
It’s difficult to have guests all summer long at every home you live in your entire married life.
My ex-husband never helped.

SquashedMallow
nicely said.
I drank too much and did too much too, felt like I should because he had a full time job and I felt guilty. Then I’d get stressed and bored and anxious and to try and recreate a happier pre child time, I’d open the wine while cooking.
I actually didn’t realize the effect it was having on my anxiety, energy and irrationally. After a few glasses I’d vent my frustration, not the best idea.
i had counseling to help me learn to be more assertive, it might help you?
good luck with it all.

There's a back story (yours sincerely an ex problem drinker) takes one to know one I'm afraid 😉

Your partner doesn't threaten to leave if you'l crack open a bottle of wine after an exhausting day.

He may do if he's been put through a lot courtesy of a history with drinking too much and all that goes with it.

People traumatised by someone else's drinking can flinch and be on edge at the mere sound of a glass bottle clinking.

Drinking addictively usually has a cause (mental health problems, trauma ) and that's not the drinkers fault . But it IS their responsibility to address.

Ps I use to do all the orchestrated martyrdom. Burn myself out, host extravagant dinners, decline help and then throw a tantrum when i felt hard done by because of it. (Great excuse to drink isn't it ) I grew boundaries when I stopped and didn't martyr myself with people that didn't give in return.

When I threw in the towel and packed it in ,my life and my mental health improved phenomenally (as did everyone's around me) best thing I ever done.

You've got to want to do it though- that's the crux. (No 12 step meetings here) It's very much possible.

Good luck. Stop living this half life. You'll destroy yourself and the people you love.

Honestly drinking a whole bottle of wine in anger whilst breast feeding is a drink problem whether you want to admit it or not.

So what reason does your husband have to be so frustrated by you having a glass of wine?

OP, the two posts are virtually identical. Stop being so put upon by your DH and in-laws.

The drinking is a separate issue.

Here you go. 💕
No time like the present...

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

This is word for word like another post from a few months ago, OP

Judging by the amount of spelling mistakes, you may have already had one drink too much and may have a drinking problem. So I think there’s more to this story.

You don't actually have to cook for people and wait on them. Why do you? I've never done it and it's not something I'd even think about doing.

Yes - thought I’d had a Deja Vu

Clearly the backstory is missing. PP's have said OP has divulged alcohol probs in pp's.

Please don't drink a bottle of wine and bf.

Maybe don't host such a big event if you feel stressed/knackered. I've never hosted that many people, not my thing tbh!

That is such an extreme reaction that there must be something more. Do you have issues with alcohol?

I was just thinking the same thing

Wow! No, the OPs husband should have helped! He’s acting like an entitled twat!

She probably forgot she posted about it

I don't know about your drinking habits but your husband sounds useless. Leaving you running round after them all...while he carried out the monumental manly task of meat carving...let me guess, he expected you and all the other guests to marvel at his talent. How would you have managed without him?!

I thought I was going mad when I read the op dated today, was sure I’d read exactly the same thread a few months ago.
Anyway op hasn’t come back with any updates - all in all it seems they probably drink too much and the husband has had enough. Not sure him leaving the house with small children and a drunk/tipsy wife is the solution here.

I feel like we're missing some information here @Swimswimmswimswimswim, like do you have a problem with alcohol? Has he commented on your drinking before? Have you been drinking while doing the prep/having guests over and are intending to drink more now, or have you not touched a drop while they were there?

If you're breastfeeding then a whole bottle of wine isn't a great idea #understatement

There is nothing " judgy " about stating that drinking a bottle of wine when breastfeeding isn't healthy .