To be annoyed at staff asking my kid what she wants?

I kind of agree with some posters about kids being asked directly to build confidence etc. but there have been times when we've been asked do we want a dessert menu and we've said no thanks but they have then asked my daughter if she wants a dessert, surely the parents saying no just means no.

Recently in Lush, I'd told my daughter she can have 3 bath bombs, she chose them, we took them to the till and the person serving asked her directly did she want any more, thats totally not up to her, and I'm pretty sure she could hear me saying about choosing 3 only. I know its first world problems etc. but it made me feel like shit then having to tell my daughter no she can't have more when I shouldn't have had to as we were all sorted before the employee decided to imply that my daughter can have more bath bombs!

They were 6 pence in old money when I was a child. 2.5 pence in decimal. They werent called 99’s because of the price, that was just a co-incidence.

Well my child was over the moon when we visited a popular family attraction and arrived with her wearing a sunflower lanyard. The member of staff greeting arrivals came straight up to my daughter and started chatting to her, asking if she was excited and then started to let her know about the sensory room, plenty exits, toilets etc. I’m so used to people addressing me instead of my children I found this a breath of fresh air. She was 11 at the time. No obvious disability (she’s autistic) so just the lanyard that gave away her having a hidden disability. I sent them some lovely feedback.

On general shopping I think it’s fine to ask what your child was asked. My kids would usually answer with a yes please if they knew I would already usually buy the flake, or if not they would likely turn to ask me and I’d help them make their choice (either a yes, or in some cases a ‘you only brought £4 so you’ll have to leave the extra flake today’ and they’d usually be fine with it. I think it’s lovely to address the children. Same on flights - would your child like a drink? What would your child like? Well if you ask my child they will tell you. I’ve trained them up to ask themselves on cafes/restaurants etc since they could speak!!

No, they weren't! You could buy them in the 1960s before we even had a 99p. It's to do with the Italian King's elite guard. Google it.

Well it's quite easy Just give the child the correct money for a regular ice cream and tell them they can't have extras. Not sure why a 9 year old can't understand that and they are certainly old enough to speak to ice cream seller. Many many kids go to local shops by themselves at that age

A flake is a normal addition to ice-cream.

I agree with you OP. My kids both wear glasses and at appointments are both asked if they want to try contact lenses - they cost money every month! My son would like them but we are not paying. I said at my daughters appointment recently that when she is paying for them, then she can decide if she wants them.

At no point should a child be asked their preference unless the parent gives consent. It sounds controlling but that is why children don't run the world.

If you ask a kid if they want chocolate on their ice cream....uh, duh, they are kids, of course they want chocolate! Don't ask the child. They aren't responsible for their diet or health.

I think if £4 is being paid for a cornet, a £1 for the flake is neither here nor there. £4 may be justifiable for the highest quality, organic ice-cream made with the freshest natural ingredients. From the average ice-cream van, no. I'd have told mine to be patient and we'd stop at a shop.

20 shillings to a pound.
12 pence to a shilling
I recall ha'pennies pennies, threepence, sixpence, shillings, two Bob bits (two shillings), half crowns (2 shillings and sixpence), ten shillings notes (ten bob), pound notes and a denomination called a guinea which was equivalent to one pound and one shilling.

I recall all that because upthread somebody referred to 1s6d (one shilling and sixpence) in new money that was 7.5p. A great uncle used to give me a half crown after church on Sundays when I was about 4. It was very, very generous and special to have such a big, heavy, silver coin. Equivalent to 12.5 new pence!

We spent hours rubbing pennies as children due to the different Kings and Queens. Queen Victoria (occasionally), Edward VIi (occasionally), George V, George VI and E II. Our children never had that little insight into history seeing only E II on coins.

Irrelevant I know but the references to old and new money made me think of it.

What age do you think is old enough?
If it's the escalating costs that bothers you why not give your daughter a fixed amount to spend so she can't go over it.

Beat me to it....

Surely as a kid it's perfectly normal for a parent to say you can have one scoop and no you can't have a flake etc? An ice cream is a treat and the extras are an extra treat. Sometimes I might be allowed to have them but I didn't take them for granted.

ODFOD

There's really no need for rudeness and misogyny!

Your kid is 9 not 2! Why are you babying her? Like fair enough to have said to her beforehand if you didn't want her to order a flake because of cost, but very strange to not want your 9 year old to order her own food. At 9, if my kid had wanted an ice cream and I didn't, I would have stood in sight of the queue and let him queue up himself!

Calm down Karen, the world’s not going to end if you have to insert yourself into the conversation and tell your kid “no” they can’t have the flake.

That’s of course assuming that you’ve previously told your kid “no” at some point previously in their lives.

Most sensible thing is to address the parents and say "what can they have?". No dithering from kids so it speeds things up, and no awkwardness when kids order things that they are not allowed

Oh my God - yes there is an ice cream van there in the middle of nowhere charging prices like daylight robbery!!!

And those flakes these days are only a blip of the size they used to be.

I agree with you but ice cream parlor attendant doesn't sound like a job that comes with a lot of training so you may not always get a high degree of correctness.

I'd just answer for the child, if your answer is "no." Or ask the child yourself, if you don't care either way.

I don't think they were called 99s because of the price. I mean, there has never been a mandated price for ice cream sellers to sell at! Must be another reason

I’m 66 and they’ve always been 99’s even in the dark ages

I thought I was going to get a strip to en
off me lol. 😊. It’s odd that I find ‘my kid’ (singular) offhand and uncaring; but ‘my kids’ plural I find acceptable 🤷‍♀️ Perhaps I’m the weird one! Either that or it’s a semantic mystery 🤣

There is no right or wrong here. Just the way you prefer it to be done and the way the server did it.

From the Cadbury website: An Ice Cream served in a cone with a Flake 99 is the UK's favourite ice cream. In the days of the monarchy in Italy the King had an elite guard consisting of 99 soldiers. Subsequently anything really special or first class was known as "99". When Cadbury launched its small Flake for ice creams in 1930, the UK ice cream industry was dominated by ex-pat Italians. So, to appeal to Italians we called our superb Flake a "99".