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Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
catlover123456789 · 05/05/2025 18:02

No one cares about her professional photo social media reveal, least of all the people she didn't invite to her wedding (presumably the people invited saw her in her dress so they dont need a reveal!) She needs to get over herself.

CornishIrish · 05/05/2025 18:01

Oh and it isn’t about the reveal to other people it’s about her seeing herself on the big day. She wants to see herself and the dress looking amazing as the first image, a snapshot on a phone isn’t going to look as good, she is probably upset for that reason.

Trishthedish · 05/05/2025 18:00

Createausername1970 · 04/05/2025 16:58

Sorry OP, but in my opinion you are both as bad.

Firstly, what is all the crap about a "reveal" of the dress? Lord help us. Most people won't give a flying monkey about it.

Secondly, don't post photos of other people on social media without their permission.

the op didn’t. It was a picture of the op with her partner and her friend. Not the bride.

Motheroffive999 · 05/05/2025 17:59

It is similar to someone revealing the birth of a child before the parents do , which happened to me .

Nothing7 · 05/05/2025 17:59

WhereIsMyLight · 04/05/2025 17:01

The dress reveal is when she walked down the aisle.

For anyone not invited to the wedding, they won’t give a shit about her dress reveal because why should they?

Unfortunately you can’t argue with batshittery. She’ll either get over it or she won’t, there’s not much you can do. You’ve apologised.

Edited

I was coming to say this! Anyone she wanted to see her in her dress / get married would have been invited.
countless people posted pics of my wedding and I couldn’t have cared less

CornishIrish · 05/05/2025 17:59

I’m surprised at these answers. I would have thought it was common knowledge that you let the couple share the official photos. That’s why you pay for a photographer.

It’s not worthy of this drama but it’s still a rude thing to do. However if you were right at the back you are hardly a close friend. I wouldn’t stress about it. If she is willing to cut you off over this then it’s not really a friendship worth holding on to.

Turtletimes · 05/05/2025 17:57

You are not being unreasonable - yes she may have felt annoyed for a few minutes but it really doesn’t matter. NO ONE cares about the reveal, especially those not even invited to the wedding. Try not to feel bad - a minor mistake was made and you apologised. If there is further comments about you “ruining” anything I would consider wishing them well and then moving on.

Laura95167 · 05/05/2025 17:57

I think everyone's a bit unreasonable here.

You ignored her wishes and upset her and as she'd asked everyone in advance you were wrong to share it. But you've apologised and that's all you can do.

Bride has full main character syndrome, noone other than her cares about her "reveal", and if anyone would care surely they'd be the people she invited to the wedding who saw the dress then.

I don't think i know anyone who'd care about a dress reveal for a friend/relative/acquaintance they weren't close enough to have recieved a wedding invite for. Not ever forgiving you seems wild.

ScattyGinger · 05/05/2025 17:54

Is she being ridiculous? Probably. But she specifically made a request and you went against it. She's being over the top but it has obviously upset her. I always message the bride these days to check it's OK to upload any photos after becuase I can never keep up with different rules for different people so like to be on the safe side. I wouldn't have given a shit at all on my wedding day, but if it means a lot to someone then I'll respect that. x

BitOutOfPractice · 05/05/2025 17:53

Violettaaa · 04/05/2025 21:04

Reveal?! As if guests cared about the dress. It may be important for the bride but it’s a complete non event for guests. YANBU.

I don’t think that’s true. As a wedding guest I love to see the dress. That’s a big part of the day for me - the first glimpse of the bride. But the whole point of the reveal afterwards would be wasted on me because I’ve already seen it. On the day. As have all of the bride’s nearest and dearest who presumably were there too. So it’s only ransoms on instagram she’s worried about.

Raindropsandroses123 · 05/05/2025 17:53

SwanOfThoseThings · 04/05/2025 16:57

it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos

What the fuck has the world come to?

Agree.
Sounds likes she’s obsessed with social media. Her issue, not yours!
the world doesn’t revolve around her.

SamDeanCas · 05/05/2025 17:52

I think she is being a bit precious, and I think you were a bit thoughtless.

You’ve apologised so I’d leave the ball in her court to contact you

Pinkdhalia · 05/05/2025 17:52

She knows you posted a photo, she's presuming everyone she knows is on your Facebook. However everyone she knows was probably at the wedding . The big reveal! Who does she think she is that anyone actually cares about her dress! In a week it's likely no one having actually been there will recall the colour !

Joysoflife1 · 05/05/2025 17:52

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has been identified in real life, so we've agreed to take this down.

oldmoaner · 05/05/2025 17:50

Maybe the photos will all be "photoshopped" so she looks fantastic, so didn't want anyone to see the "real" photos. Loads of people do it, why I've no idea.

burnoutbabe · 05/05/2025 17:50

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 04/05/2025 16:58

The usual rule is don't upload a photo of the bride until she has uploaded herself.

Saying that she is being a bit OTT to still be annoyed

Yes this! It’s common sense!

a picture of you and partner dressed up -usually fine -but not the bride /groom until they ha e posted their pictures (and even then I’d check with them for any candid pics)

mindutopia · 05/05/2025 17:48

I still want to know who she was revealing to.

A wedding is not like, for example, having a baby.

Like when you have a baby, no one else is there but your partner, no one has seen the baby before or knows they’ve been born or knows what you named them.

But surely, you invite all your friends and family to your wedding. They were there. They’ve seen the dress. They know you did the thing. Surely, no one else gives a shit.

SparklesGlitter · 05/05/2025 17:46

No way. Why are people so self important and self absorbed? I get the reveal thing but only on the day, and to the people actually invited. ‘Revealing’ to the ones who weren’t is very main character.
After our wedding loads of candid photos were shared. What did I do with them? Put them all in an album and reshared ones (of us) with private tags. It was great because there were pictures of parts of the day that we weren’t in because if getting around everyone.

DeedsNotDiddums · 05/05/2025 17:45

YABU only if she is a celebrity and had sold her image rights for the wedding for £££!!!!

BrightLeader · 05/05/2025 17:45

She really needs to get over herself. She should also accept your apology. She definitely needs to mature. Tbh she is no friend drop her.

CommonAsMucklowe · 05/05/2025 17:45

Is your friend Taylor Swift or were Hello magazine in attendance? If not then she can do one, nobody cares and saw the dress at the wedding anyway. FFS some people are nuts. Block and move on.

Soberinthecity · 05/05/2025 17:43

The reveal!! 💀💀💀😂 who gives AF? Move on….

Original poster
ByTidyHare · 05/05/2025 17:30

Thanks for the replies everyone, to just pick up on a couple of things:

-I couldn’t edit my first post but it meant to say she is ‘one of’ my best friends. Bridesmaids were her sisters and two of her oldest school friends so no issue with not being involved here.

-I didn’t really rush to post anything, I’ve just checked and that was my first upload since last summer and was because it was a rare occasions I’ve actually got a decent photo with my partner! You had to scroll past three photos to see the one with my friend and I.

OP posts:
luckylavender · 05/05/2025 17:24

ThinWomansBrain · 05/05/2025 16:45

Must be a great honeymoon if all she is doing is combing social media and throwing a strop.

But of course, the photos of it will be insta-perfect😂😂😂

And I bet she paid handsomely for that. So I don't blame her.

KateDelRick · 05/05/2025 16:46

ThinWomansBrain · 05/05/2025 16:45

Must be a great honeymoon if all she is doing is combing social media and throwing a strop.

But of course, the photos of it will be insta-perfect😂😂😂

I know! Who even thinks about this sort of thing in honeymoon? I would suggest that's problematic.