Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

Astonishing drama!

Glad I got married before social media had really taken off.

If the bride is so wound up that she doesn’t think she can ever forgive you, then there’s nothing more you can do than apologise, which you have already done.

What does she want? Financial compensation? For you to pay for a “perfect” re-run of the big day?

Does she honestly think that people are waiting with bated breath to see her dress. Ridiculous

The vast majority of replies are being nasty taking pot shots at the reason and having fun skewering her “reveal”. So what if she wants a reveal, or whatever.

its her wedding and she asked her friend not to

And honestly coming on here to get strangers to be nasty about your mate and her wedding means she’s probably right not to talk to you again.

Symptoms of bridezilladom! Her extreme egocentrism is hopefully temporary. You’ve apologised and explained. The ball’s in her court - let her play it when she feels more like a normal human being. I would keep a low profile around her until she calms down.

I agree with the Bride, it's down to her and the groom to post first pics, same as new baby ones. I always think it's a bit rude posting wedding pics on social media before the couple even if they haven't said not to. Etiquette.

Here is the crux of the matter - everyone was asked not to post photos.

You did it anyway.

You could have and should have asked why that announcement was made.

you didn’t

you did not know why that announcement was made and disregarded it. For this alone, yes you’re in the wrong

everyone also knows the modern etiquette that you don’t post wedding photos until the bride/groom does. Add to this, all were asked not to post photos. You were already out on alert they did not want photos posted.

yet you did it anyway

it turns out it was about a reveal. You’re deciding that reason is precious, bridezilla, over reaction. Whatever. You were asked not to post photos and you completely disregarded.

if she really was your best friend - why didn’t you know this? And if you really cared and not feeling self righteous, why are you posting to mumsnet when everyone knows stories get picked up by the media? If she were truly your best friend, and you went against a pretty easy to abide by request, why are you now trying to shame her when you say you were horrified at your initial disregard to her request?

you don’t seem like a best friend.

would anyone think differently if there were an adopted or abused child there and no one wanted photos of them published? An abused woman amongst the guests and photos should not be posted? Or any one of a multiple reason why photos of someone should not be published?

What about people who simply do not want their photos of themselves published or their kids published in social media? I know many people get really pissed off if photos of their kids get put on social media just because it is their own decision.

so it dors not really matter the bride’s reasoning, an announcement was made.

Everyone was asked not to post photos

you did it anyway because you decided it was ok and you’re not happy you got called out for it, now you want to shame the bride on social media (and maybe hoping for the press to pick up?) because you’re not happy with the result of your actions - your own knowing better and doing as you please regardless of what you were asked.

"Please don't post pictures to social media" is not really "tightly controlling". Guests shouldn't need to be uploading to Instagram throughout the day in order to enjoy themselves.

The bride is being mocked for taking social media too seriously but it's the OP who seems to think her own Instagram is the priority.

Sounds like she already revealed the dress by wearing it in public at the ceremony?

I think allowing the bride and groom to post their pictures first is generally the etiquette these days, and you also should always consider privacy first before posting about anyone else's event or photos where other people can be identified. If in doubt, ask first.

I remember 15+ years ago a good friend requesting that we don't post anything to Facebook about the wedding, as they were not going to be posting about it themselves either which we obviously respected.

You sound a bit rude and thoughtless @ByTidyHare . Why did you feel the need to post the photos on Instagram anyway? Are you a celebrity with fans who can't wait to see what you've been up to?

Whatever the reason, you were asked not to post online and you did. You might think the reason is silly but it was apparently important to her. It’s not a great look to belittle your supposedly best friends’ request and subsequent anger. It’s like grandparents announcing pregnancies and adults posting other children’s faces. Don’t post other people without permission!

She sounds very precious.

What a massive overreaction - as if anyone could care less about their wedding in all reality. And if anyone really was that bothered they surely would have been in attendance anyway! It’s like baby name or baby gender reveals - no-one cares, people need to get over themselves.

You shouldn't be sharing pics of people without permission (nevermind after being specifically asked not to - which I get was a misunderstanding on your part but you could have tried to clarify that first). Lesson learnt hopefully. BUT I do think she's overreacting now and should have accepted your apology and moved on, especially as you took it down straight away.

Ditch.
You don't need the special and wet.

If she’s your BF why did she have you at the back for the ceremony?
she’s clearly being precious because she was using the wedding to sell more of her shit MLM perfume on social media when she gets back and she feeds off drama.
You were wrong, but she does not sound like a best friend either.
You probably need to let her figure out that she is not that special.

Cutting off a friend for accidentally doing so, is insanely self obsessed and callous. I think I’d rather have made the OP’s mistake than be the ‘friend’ in the scenario.

If you’re wanting to salvage this, OP, I’d have a think to see if she’s been a supportive friend in other ways, in hard times, illness, family issues? Is she a perfect friend in every way that’s just gone off on this one thing? I’m assuming she must think she’s absolutely perfect to justify behaving this way for this one thing. Did she thank you for your wedding gift and attending?

Personally, I prefer my friends not to be perfect, given I’m not.

Why the fuck does everything have to posted on SM anyway ? You both need to grow the fuck up

this.. It was her news not yours.

You've apologised, but it's coming across as though you are not that sorry you did it, more sorry because she's really mad about it, it feels like you don't really think you did anything wrong and that she's overreacting. Maybe she is, but she asked people to let her publish her own photos first and you ignored that.

The excuse of thinking she only meant the ceremony, doesn't ring true.

You're her best friend... so you must know her well, it was something that was important to her, however silly other people might think it is.

She's probably more upset that she can't trust her best friend to respect her wishes, than about the "reveal"

Thinking about it.... who would the big reveal be for? Everyone she cared about would have been at her wedding surely? So the only people she is revealing for are for the facebook/ Instagram whatever followers who won't give a shit anyway

Because she is overreacting and the vast majority of replies agree with that.

It might be "mannerless" to ignore a request but it's just as mannerless, more so, to make your wedding something you control so tightly your guests can't just enjoy themselves.

It was a minor transgression by OP. If the bride insists on continuing to take herself and her wedding so seriously she really doesn't sound like anyone who'd be a good friend generally.

But she was the main character. It was her wedding

i don’t think there’s a friendship left because although the poster has said she apologised profusely, here she is on sm asking people’s opinions about the situation.

that’s a big problem because it’s clear she is minimising her actions. She’s behaved in a mannerless way for some reason but wants people to say her best friend is overreacting

Would you really say this to a friend? Or to anyone for that matter? Can the bride not be allowed to feel special and important?

We went to a wedding and were asked not to post photos until the formal ones were released. Never ever saw them, the bride shared them on her social media platforms but the groom (who we know) did not.

you have apologised. There’s nothing more you can do.

by chance did anyone miss the wedding ? If everyone was there, surely the big reveal was on the day itself….

She is overreacting especially as you apologised profusely and explained the misunderstanding but weddings can do strange things to brides. I remember my flower lady went on holiday and my bouquet was done by her assistant instead and looked nothing like the picture I had provided. Im pretty chilled out normally but I hated this bouquet. It was so far removed from what I had requested and i wanted to throw it in the bin. I was upset about it for ages. I think when you plan a wedding you have a final vision in your head and meticulously plan everything to meet that vision thinking you have everything covered. You carry that vision around in your head for months and then if something goes unexpectedly wrong and its beyond your control to make it right, the disappointment is amplified tenfold. It's not that she's bridezilla or anything, she's just terribly disappointed. She will get over it and I don't think she will throw away a friendship over it. I got over my bouquet eventually.

I think your friend is bonkers. You’ve apologised so there’s nothing more you can do and the whole idea of revealing the dress is ridiculous anyway. It’s almost as if she’s looking for an excuse to be annoyed with you.