Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

She asked you not to post anything from the wedding. Your friend in her dress was from the wedding. However ridiculous you think her plans were, you agreed to the rules then broke them. I’d be pissed off too.

She is allowed to be as annoyed as she wants. You are allowed to re-evaluate your friendship if you want. But you don’t get to decide if how she feels is reasonable.

The whole aiming there are rules about this is nonsense too. You invite people to your wedding then you're inviting them to enjoy it and if that includes posting their own photos to their own social media then that's part of it.

I have no idea who posted photos of my wedding and when. I didn't expect to have to give permission. Such preciousness is ridiculous and it shouldn't be encouraged by people claiming there's a code and that that code is reasonable.

I work in the wedding industry and have seen this request quite often - the couple (read bride) wants the best pro shots going out before anything else.

Whilst I agree with PPs that it’s pretentious as hell, there was a pretty clear announcement by all accounts not to post, although her having a full on meltdown with you about it even after taking it down and apologising is a taking it too far.

Going against the grain here but YABU. Why did you do that to your friend when she specifically asked that you not upload any pictures of her wedding? Was it that hard not to do that?

Don't worry OP, she'll fall out with someone else when they forget her one year wedding anniversary (I have witnessed this, a complete meltdown as friends didn't send happy wedding anniversary cards, I didn't know it was a thing)

Forget that it’s a wedding and that the bride explicitly asked people not to, but you NEVER post pictures of other people without getting their OK. It’s online 101. So rude.

Agree with this.

Really? You didn’t know it was polite to not put something on social media that you have been asked not to. That’s bonkers to me, to use your words

Same for any major life event. Seen several baby announcements over the years not from the parents because people desperately have to be the first to update Facebook or Instagram. Which is pretty pathetic

Everyone knows not to post any pictures of the bride and groom until the bride and groom have shared photos themselves.its common courtesy.

ypu were in the wrong.

This isn’t a rule! The first photo uploaded of me at my wedding - admittedly over a decade ago now - had me looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Honestly, I looked like I was about to chin the person who took the photo! (I’m not an aggressive person in the slightest) I just thought it was funny! Yes, there were far nicer photos but this is the ‘social’ bit of social media. Lean in or opt out.

Tedious crap. They have had “their moment” at the bloody wedding? Are people soooooo utterly focused on social media that this actually matters? And so self absorbed that they think anyone else actually cares? I hate to tell you, but most people just don’t. Any anyone who actually would was in fact, at the wedding?

Surely anyone who would care what the dress looked like were at the wedding?

Yeah she was being over the top but separately were you born in a bush? You NEVER post pictures of other people without asking their permission. That is online 101 and I would find someone doing this really super rude and annoying.

do not post pictures of other people unless it’s random people in the background in a public space.

It’s a ‘thing’ now isn’t it? Whilst I think it’s a bunch of old arse, she did ask you not to do it so it was obviously important to her and you did it anyway. It’s unsurprising that she’s pissed off about it. All you can do is apologise and wait for her to come round and for christs sake do NOT share a photo of her baby or pregnancy news before she does.

This is why I think the baby thing is entirely different. Because I can totally see why you wouldn’t want that announced on Facebook by someone else before you’d had a chance to tell the people that mattered.

A wedding is entirely different because the majority of the people who matter will be there. It’s pure vanity.

I am only now learning that looking at a picture is 'a reveal'.
This is incredibly far-fetched and no-one will care as much as she does -
Unless it was a really wacky dress designed to shock?

However, she asked not to post photos so I would have not posted photos - the reception is part of the wedding just as much as the ceremony is, so you'd have to be quite wilfully misunderstanding the instructions to decide your need to put photos of yourself online for everyone to see were definitely not crossing the line.

In short - You ABU to have posted despite instructions
She is BU to care after you've apologised and to imagine people are on tenterhooks for her 'reveal' as though she is Davina announcing who is being kicked out of Big Brother.

She’s being ridiculous.

And presumably it will be months before she gets the professional pictures and by that time literally nobody will give a shit.

I had some sympathy for her initially but her response to your apology made me roll my eyes.

She asked you to not but you did anyway. What a shame she's still upset, you have apologised for the fuck-up.

Surely anyone who matters was there anyway? So how can there be a ‘reveal’?

Shes being very precious.

Yes it is. It's the same type of 'big event's as birth of babies, you don't put photos or announcements up when someone else has a baby, same you don't put a photo of the bride/groom until they have and announced their wedding. They even had a sign to say no photos on social media.

Lots of people don't care, but some people, like OPs friend obviously do care and it is their life event.

This!

I'm scratching my head trying to figure out what the definition of "a reveal". @ByTidyHare and everyone else at the ceremony was told not to take photos during it. I would have interpret that as not taking photos in the church / reception (the bit where they're getting married). The disco, which takes place in the evening, is another kettle of fish and it's common knowledge that you can take photos in the function room.

TL;DR

The ceremony (the getting married bit) - don't take photos

The disco / evening part - you can take photos

As long as these 2 parts are respected, then you can't really police what gets posted online afterwards as long as it's not offensive. Seems like offended bridezilla's gonna offended. YANBU OP.

I love weddings, but had no idea if this 'basic wedding etiquette' you speak of - utterly bonkers