Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
Charmofgoldfinch · 04/05/2025 22:42

I assumed she had asked people not to share photos of her due to privacy reasons, which is reasonable. But she’s angry because you ruined her reveal?! Surely the people who she cares the most about were at the wedding and will have seen her dress? So she’s upset that she lost out on the reveal to acquaintances/ strangers/ people she didn’t invite to the wedding?!

uncomfortablydumb60 · 04/05/2025 22:42

YANBU

olympicsrock · 04/05/2025 22:39

You shouldn’t have shared the photos because she asked guests not to.
Yes she was being precious….
The problem is that it is difficult to believe that you really thought it was ok , so she thinks you were ignoring her expressed wishes.

I don’t think you’ll continue to be friends because it was very important to her.

Eenameenadeeka · 04/05/2025 22:39

The whole "reveal" thing is a bit over the top but you were still unreasonable to post a photo of her when she specifically asked that people dont share them. If it was just you and your partner fine but you shouldn't have posted the bride.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 04/05/2025 22:35

Derbee · 04/05/2025 21:05

I think it’s appalling that people need to be asked not to share photos. Everyone should know that the bride posts first. It’s like posting a picture of someone’s baby, or announcing the birth before the parents etc. It’s common courtesy.

Appalling? How do you people get up in the morning? With all the terrible things that go on in the world that’s what you find appalling?! 🤦‍♀️ No one even remembers what the bride’s dress looked like the next day and quite frankly no one cares.

BellissimoGecko · 04/05/2025 22:34

She’s fucking rude. No thank you for your gift, yet she’s happy to whine at you for spoiling her reveal?!

She sounds selfish.

Rosemary61 · 04/05/2025 22:33

I think she needs to get over herself tbh

WilfredsPies · 04/05/2025 22:32

I think she’s seriously over estimating people’s interest in her wedding. One white dress looks very much like another and very few people are going to be chomping at the bit for a grand ‘reveal’.

Having said that, if you’d put a photo of me on social media without checking with me first whether it was ok and whether I minded, I’d be seriously pissed off with you. Especially if I’d already asked you not to post any photos of the wedding.

Longma · 04/05/2025 22:31

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 04/05/2025 16:58

The usual rule is don't upload a photo of the bride until she has uploaded herself.

Saying that she is being a bit OTT to still be annoyed

Never been told this or known this to be a ‘rule’ ever! Is this yet another thing guests to weddings these days have to put up with?!

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 04/05/2025 22:31

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

‘Reveal’ it to whom exactly?! She sounds like a right PITA.

Frazzled83 · 04/05/2025 22:30

Bloody hell, it’s her Instagram not sodding Hello magazine. So, her followers, none of whom were close enough to actually GO to her wedding (or it wouldn’t be a reveal would it?), are assumed to be waiting with bated breath to see her frock? Bloody hell, sometimes people really do need to give their head a wobble.

Longma · 04/05/2025 22:30

it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos

surely anyone who might vaguely care were there at the wedding and saw it in real life anyway!
if someone wasn’t close enough to be invited I can’t imagine they will care at all.

The bride clearly has a high opinion of herself and her wedding!

FinklestonTheWonderCat · 04/05/2025 22:24

I'd take this as a win. I'd genuinely be embarrassed to associate with someone who behaved and thought like this; I'd rather not be forgiven...

It's easier when you know who to avoid.

HGP · 04/05/2025 22:23

I can understand her being a bit miffed but she needs to realise the only person who cares about this ‘reveal’ is her.

Anyone who would care would be at the wedding and the rest of her social media ‘friends’ will just like to have a nosey. It’s not the big event in the calendar that she’d like to think it is.

JHound · 04/05/2025 22:22

Your friend sounds like she is not old enough be married.

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 04/05/2025 22:20

Even though I've just done a massive eye roll at "reveal" and think she's being a bit Bridezilla, she doesn't want photos of the wedding uploaded to social media, and she made that clear.
Which you went ahead and ignored.
YABU

Veryxonfused · 04/05/2025 22:18

This is pretty common behaviour these days and it’s embarrassing and ridiculous

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 04/05/2025 22:12

Getting worked up over her Dress reveal to the internet?! Why? Is she royalty? Vera Wang herself? Anna Wintour's daughter? Is the dress made of meat and/or lead piping?

Normal people behaving as if they are celebrities. World has gone potty and I blame social meeeeja 🙄

Main character syndrome. It's embarrassing.

Missanimosity · 04/05/2025 22:03

DappledThings · 04/05/2025 21:59

No, I'd roll my eyes and not post something (good chance I wouldn't anyway because I don't often). But if I did end up posting one photo like OP did because I'd forgotten/thought it wasn't that big a deal then I wouldn't be beating myself up or suddenly agreeing with the bride that it mattered.

Show quote history

I think is still hot, in no time at all she will forget about it or see that is not worth falling out for and come to her senses.

CalmDownCats · 04/05/2025 22:03

She needs to grow up.

Londonrach1 · 04/05/2025 22:02

Your poor friend..she so not realized it yet...it doesn't matter..yanbu.

BlondiePortz · 04/05/2025 22:02

I think she is being ridiculous but I wouldn't have posted photos of someone's wedding on SM either it is up to them if thry chose too and especially when aksed not too

Yes people can say technically the op did nothing wrong but the implication was there

I still thr bride is a drama queen but that is separate

Missanimosity · 04/05/2025 22:01

And again, I am not talking about the OP who made a mistake and apologised, but about others who minimise the feelings of others, becsuse they are not the same as their feelings. I remember telling my parents as a child, don't do this, it hurts me when you do this or say this and I would be told the same: You're bonkers, you're too sensitive, no one else would care, get on with it. But I cared. Why was this not enough to make you stop or not do it at all? I guess I am a bit triggered that's why I answered like that and got a bit snappy.

echt · 04/05/2025 22:00

While I think the notion of a dress reveal is fucking stupid, the OP was asked not put up photos of the wedding. Then she did. Exactly what she was asked not to do.

On the other hand the bridezilla is rude not to thank the OP for her wedding gift.

The cost of the also silly hen do is beside the point.

Leave the bridezilla alone. You've apologised, which is all you can do, though stand by for high dudgeon from the friend for not continuing to crawl up her ares apologise.

DappledThings · 04/05/2025 21:59

Missanimosity · 04/05/2025 21:56

Ok, you didn't come across a bride that cared. But hand on heart, if you would go to your friend life event and she would ask you not to post something, you would go ahead and post it anyway because her reasoning don't deserve your respect? No, you wouldn't, you would tell her "you're bonkers" and roll your eyes but you wouldn't post. Because SHE IS YOUR FRIEND and BECAUSE SHE ASKED YOU. She is bonkers but she is still your friend.

Show quote history

No, I'd roll my eyes and not post something (good chance I wouldn't anyway because I don't often). But if I did end up posting one photo like OP did because I'd forgotten/thought it wasn't that big a deal then I wouldn't be beating myself up or suddenly agreeing with the bride that it mattered.