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Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 05/05/2025 16:45

Must be a great honeymoon if all she is doing is combing social media and throwing a strop.

But of course, the photos of it will be insta-perfect😂😂😂

KateDelRick · 05/05/2025 16:45

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 16:42

@KateDelRick - but presumably the bride can choose which photographs from an expensive photographer she posts. She doesn't want every shot. And who can blame her?

Well, she can either ban phones or just relax and think it's not the most important thing.

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 16:42

@KateDelRick - but presumably the bride can choose which photographs from an expensive photographer she posts. She doesn't want every shot. And who can blame her?

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 16:40

Panterusblackish · 05/05/2025 13:54

She sounds like a self absorbed wanker who cares not a jot about the actual marriage but only about how things look.

Trying to control every detail of how guests behave is appallingly selfish. Your day your way has gone much too far. You aren't just getting married, you are also hosting.

Absolutely cringewortby.

It's really not unusual

AngieBlack · 05/05/2025 14:06

She is being a bit precious with the whole “reveal nonsense”, but YABVU to a) post photos of people on social media without asking them and b)posting on social media after be clearly told not to

KateDelRick · 05/05/2025 14:00

It's completely different to a new baby picture. Loads of people were at the wedding, they all saw her. What's the deal? An arrangement from Hello?

saraclara · 05/05/2025 13:57

Itisjustmyopinion · 04/05/2025 17:16

Really? You didn’t know it was polite to not put something on social media that you have been asked not to. That’s bonkers to me, to use your words

Same for any major life event. Seen several baby announcements over the years not from the parents because people desperately have to be the first to update Facebook or Instagram. Which is pretty pathetic

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That. I'm old, and would normally not be considered to be fully 'up' with social media, And even I know this.

Anyone who posts a wedding photo or new baby pic etc etc before the person whose special event it is, it's trying to show off. "Look how close I am to this person!"

The bride in this case has gone a bit OTT, but I'm struggling to believe that OP posted that photo in innocence.

wizzywig · 05/05/2025 13:57

If she is that way inclined, she'll only forgive you if she gets divorced. She is a princess though

Panterusblackish · 05/05/2025 13:54

She sounds like a self absorbed wanker who cares not a jot about the actual marriage but only about how things look.

Trying to control every detail of how guests behave is appallingly selfish. Your day your way has gone much too far. You aren't just getting married, you are also hosting.

Absolutely cringewortby.

KateDelRick · 05/05/2025 13:53

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 13:47

Exactly this. Just like don't post pictures of my children on sm.

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That's different. The bride was going to have loads of pictures on there. It's a total over reaction.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 05/05/2025 13:49

My first reading is that you were out of order. I don't like photos of myself in general and have no social media presence so it particularly upsets me when people put my photo online, it's extremely disrespectful. I also am more guarded around people who are into SM, thankfully none of my friends are. By guarded i mean I wouldn't go dancing or let my hair down properly.

All that said your friend is obviously really into that world so my criticism doesn't really apply. You messed up and were wrong and she might take a while to forgive you despite your apology. But her reaction is way over the top and disproportionate. She needs to get some real life problems to stop stressing over such childish rubbish.

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 13:47

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 05/05/2025 13:39

Although if someone said to me " don't post any photos of the wedding until i say" I wouldn't

So perhaps the OP has crossed a big important boundary?

Exactly this. Just like don't post pictures of my children on sm.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 05/05/2025 13:39

Although if someone said to me " don't post any photos of the wedding until i say" I wouldn't

So perhaps the OP has crossed a big important boundary?

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 05/05/2025 13:37

KateDelRick · 05/05/2025 13:36

I don't know, it's all very odd and suggests that priorities have been seriously skewed.

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I agree from my limited understanding. I'm maybe too old to understand these things! 🤣

KateDelRick · 05/05/2025 13:36

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 05/05/2025 13:30

Sorry to be dim, but the REVEAL to whom? Surely everyone who'd be interested would have been at the wedding? Or am I misunderstanding?

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I don't know, it's all very odd and suggests that priorities have been seriously skewed.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 05/05/2025 13:30

SwanOfThoseThings · 04/05/2025 16:57

it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos

What the fuck has the world come to?

Sorry to be dim, but the REVEAL to whom? Surely everyone who'd be interested would have been at the wedding? Or am I misunderstanding?

KateDelRick · 05/05/2025 13:24

DappledThings · 05/05/2025 12:44

Yes, imposing rules on your guests to control unnecessary things rather than just enjoying it yourself and letting them enjoy it is indeed a different priority. And a fucked up one.

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This ⬆️

Tandora · 05/05/2025 13:24

DappledThings · 05/05/2025 12:44

Yes, imposing rules on your guests to control unnecessary things rather than just enjoying it yourself and letting them enjoy it is indeed a different priority. And a fucked up one.

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Yup. And continuing to punish an innocent mistake of very little actual consequence even after your friend has apologised profusely is another!

WhereIsMyLight · 05/05/2025 13:15

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 12:23

There are people who can't attend a wedding even if they want to.

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Then for those people, you can video call on the day. If they are special enough to have been invited but they can’t make it, you find a way to incorporate them. You don’t lump into generic reveal with everyone you went to school with 20 years ago.

DappledThings · 05/05/2025 13:06

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 12:51

@DappledThings - in your opinion

Yep. And it is also my opinion that anyone who can say with a straight face that their social media image is more important to them than their guests having an enjoyable time is an absolute idiot.

Sunbline · 05/05/2025 12:57

Imagine spending your time on your honeymoon seething about a social media post though, sad af.

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 12:51

@DappledThings - in your opinion

DappledThings · 05/05/2025 12:44

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 12:38

@KateDelRick @DappledThings - it's the modern world. We all have different priorities. Doesn't just apply to weddings, could be births, graduations etc

Yes, imposing rules on your guests to control unnecessary things rather than just enjoying it yourself and letting them enjoy it is indeed a different priority. And a fucked up one.

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 12:38

@KateDelRick @DappledThings - it's the modern world. We all have different priorities. Doesn't just apply to weddings, could be births, graduations etc

DappledThings · 05/05/2025 12:25

luckylavender · 05/05/2025 12:23

There are people who can't attend a wedding even if they want to.

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And these people are just sitting around waiting desperately to see what the dress looked like and bride has to curate photos of it to release once the suspense has built up sufficiently? And that actually matters in any way?