Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

ByTidyHare · 2025-05-04T15:53:12+00:00

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend. This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening. My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded. I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony. She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me. AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

godmum56 · 13/10/2025 20:33

Tis coming up for Halloween and the zombies are rising......

Createausername1970 · 13/10/2025 19:07

What is it with all the zombie threads recently? I don't even know - other than scrolling past the first 100 pages - how to find them easily!

LizzieW1969 · 13/10/2025 09:16

Fkubitchh · 13/10/2025 01:06

So your first post in a year was the one post your friend explicitly asked not to be posted.

Her special day, tainted by you.

Deny and make excuses all you want, this was deliberate. You’re an absolute bastard for this and when your special days come I hope someone is there to take the limelight.

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Why did you resurrect this thread to stick the boot into the OP? You’re responding to a post that’s 5 months old!!

Boomer55 · 13/10/2025 08:53

Your friend is too much of a drama Queen. 🙄

kkloo · 13/10/2025 02:45

BoredZelda · 04/05/2025 17:19

She asked you not to post anything from the wedding. Your friend in her dress was from the wedding. However ridiculous you think her plans were, you agreed to the rules then broke them. I’d be pissed off too.

She is allowed to be as annoyed as she wants. You are allowed to re-evaluate your friendship if you want. But you don’t get to decide if how she feels is reasonable.

She actually does get to decide that.
In any situation like this you can weigh up how bad the thing you did was, and if you deserve to never be 'forgiven', if you didn't do anything too bad then you can decide that that person was unreasonable and over the top and stop feeling bad about if you want to and even feel annoyed at the other party if you want!

Fkubitchh · 13/10/2025 01:06

ByTidyHare · 05/05/2025 17:30

Thanks for the replies everyone, to just pick up on a couple of things:

-I couldn’t edit my first post but it meant to say she is ‘one of’ my best friends. Bridesmaids were her sisters and two of her oldest school friends so no issue with not being involved here.

-I didn’t really rush to post anything, I’ve just checked and that was my first upload since last summer and was because it was a rare occasions I’ve actually got a decent photo with my partner! You had to scroll past three photos to see the one with my friend and I.

So your first post in a year was the one post your friend explicitly asked not to be posted.

Her special day, tainted by you.

Deny and make excuses all you want, this was deliberate. You’re an absolute bastard for this and when your special days come I hope someone is there to take the limelight.

KimberleyClark · 20/06/2025 09:11

Bridezilla.

Goldengirl123 · 20/06/2025 09:08

Why does she think people would be interested in the big reveal??? Surely those closest to her were at the wedding?

DarthElvis · 19/06/2025 16:28

That's a private moment. A moment shared with friends. It's a million miles away from being viewed by anyone with an internet connection. If you don't understand please read guidelines and references on the ico website. Privacy is a forgotten thing for far too many.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/05/2025 19:22

StupidBoy · 08/05/2025 08:40

Of course, but honestly it can feel quite invasive and violating having photos of you taken and shared without permission or the chance to vet them first. Especially if you struggle with seeing photos of yourself at all and are excessively critical of your own looks. I realise that may sound irrational and princessy to some people, but it's very real to others. It's something I've tried to lighten up on and come to terms with as I've got older, but it can be very hard to deal with. Social media makes it far far worse than the days of old photos that stayed relatively private. At least you didn't know who was showing them to whom. On your wedding day of all days, you want to feel happy and confident when looking at yourself in photos, and you deserve to.

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It's something I've tried to lighten up on and come to terms with as I've got older

Me, too. 🩷

latetothefisting · 11/05/2025 12:28

Goditsmemargaret · 08/05/2025 08:29

I really think the posters here are answering the wrong question.

The issue isn't whether or not it's ok to request no photos till the big reveal.

The issue is that OP apologised wholeheartedly and rectified it after a misunderstanding and her so-called best friend is refusing - still - to forgive her.

Some mistakes are unforgivable. If my friend reversed her car over a member of my family and left them in critical condition even though I knew it was a mistake and they regretted it, I'd likely not be able to forgive them. But a simple misunderstanding, that probably nobody noticed, certainly nobody cared and also, OP will not have been the only one... Feck that.

I would honestly be binning the friendship off unless she returns with a "omg I'm so embarrassed, honestly the stress of the wedding sent me a little insane".

but surely forgiveness is subjective on behalf of the forgiver, not the offender? Nobody automatically deserves forgiveness.

there will be some petty people who will never forget the most minor slight, and other saints who would absolutely forgive the family-member-running-over and worse!
you could make a slightly bitchy comment to two people - one might laugh it off, for the other it could be the 1000th such comment over the friendship and the one that breaks the camel's back and leads to a massive fall out

There isn't a definitive yes/no forgiveness category that every action neatly falls inside of. What's easily forgiveable for one person is a step too far for someone else.

I personally agree from what we've been told that this is the sort of thing the friend should forgive OP but we don't know the full story, only OPs version which is obviously going to paint her in the best light. There could be a long backstory of OP sharing private information, or revelling in being 'the better looking friend,' or being very stressed about the wedding, or knowing the friend was very self conscious and wanted a nice photo of her, like some of the examples here.

LittleMonks11 · 11/05/2025 10:30

Chrissie1301 · 11/05/2025 10:29

probably in the minority here by saying I totally understand as something similar happened to me and although I have tried to forgive the person, I find my relation ship with her now is a cold one. i think we have so many wedding expectations and if som e action spoils those pre-conceived ideas , it matters more than it should. In my case, m y , memory now of my daughter's wedding is one of being angry and upset rather than joyful and happy and i resent that and the person who caused it. But I have never told my daughter what happened as i do not want her to think the day was anything but wonderful

what happened?

Chrissie1301 · 11/05/2025 10:29

probably in the minority here by saying I totally understand as something similar happened to me and although I have tried to forgive the person, I find my relation ship with her now is a cold one. i think we have so many wedding expectations and if som e action spoils those pre-conceived ideas , it matters more than it should. In my case, m y , memory now of my daughter's wedding is one of being angry and upset rather than joyful and happy and i resent that and the person who caused it. But I have never told my daughter what happened as i do not want her to think the day was anything but wonderful

Braygirlnow · 11/05/2025 07:43

SwanOfThoseThings · 04/05/2025 16:57

it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos

What the fuck has the world come to?

Is this friend a celebrity? Did she have an exclusive with Hello magazine? Oh dear , yes you ruined that, other wise wtf is she on about, reveal? 🙄

Daisyhon · 11/05/2025 01:32

Unless your friends name is MADONNA then yes she is being unreasonable . I seriously doubt that anyone who was not already at the ceremony is going to give a monkeys about her dress .

Cally222 · 10/05/2025 21:43

To be fair it's just common sense to check if the bride or groom have posted about their wedding with photos before you do. Said your an avid social media user so I don't see why you wouldn't know this. Just common sense. I can see why your friend is very upset if your so social media savvy. Should she never speak to you again... no that's ott. But I can understand why she's upset and you did do wrong in this situation to post before her and not even checking is a rookie error.

FunMustard · 10/05/2025 20:13

She's being ridiculous but honestly, "please don't share photos" means "please don't share photos".

I could understand her being annoyed but her response is OTT.

RachelBerry03 · 10/05/2025 19:43

Your friend’s reaction is ludicrous and she needs to get over herself.

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 10/05/2025 19:31

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 17:42

I think it’s particularly frustrating because her hen was abroad and turned out a lot more expensive than it was initially costed at (which some people actually dropped out over, I didn’t despite it being a stretching time for me financially). I get being pissed off the day after, but we are weeks down the line now. I also got them a really thoughtful wedding present which she hasn’t commented on.

These things are irrelevant to them asking people to not post pictures of the wedding.

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 10/05/2025 19:29

You were told not to share pictures. How could you think it only related to the ceremony?

Measinglemum · 10/05/2025 19:21

I have to agree with challenger .
This is new to me as internet was not a thing when I married.
I think many of the home photos were better than the official ones which I send back to be re developed.

My brothers recent wedding I shared photos of the ceremony on the wedding info WhatsApp rapidly, the official photos came later . The bride was delighted to see my photos.

This bride asked you not to post so you should have obeyed . You took it down rapidly. Which was all you ould do to correct your mistake.

For her to ruin her honeymoon with negative emotions and tantrum of her ' reveal' being spoiled is totally immature. As others say , those that went to the wedding saw the dress . Those who did not go are not that bothered.

She has a very inflated self importance and ruining her own honeymoon in a sulk she has not got things in perspective.

You can only sketch out a wedding. Things will go wrong. Nothing is perfect. The right man / wife the promise and the rings are the priority.

Now divorced as my husband was to self important and 27 years was enough trying to please him

Challenger2A7 · 10/05/2025 18:37

Stupid, inane woman, with no idea of what really matters. I'll give her marriage two years at the most.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 08/05/2025 21:31

Goditsmemargaret · 08/05/2025 18:01

@StupidBoy Ann the photo sharing friend sounds like she's doing it on purpose. Let me guess; Sue is physically very attractive and usually looks great in photos? If that's the case then Sue probably just cringes for Ann as it's pretty transparent what's really going on.

I have a friend Dana who is extremely goodlooking but massively insecure. She is a PITA in many low level way. I am definitely far less goodlooking (if we are being shallow) but fairly photogenic. My photos always gets lots of compliments, usually with a surprised tone. I don't filter them, it's always been this way. I really don't care by the way, my fairly average looks haven't impacted my life, relationships or career so far.

Anyway Dana has a terrible photo of me taken at about 3am, cross-eyed with booze, red-faced, sweaty the whole lot. It's really bad. She's in it too looking lovely. Of course she reshares it constantly with a post that it's 'a gorgeous photo' of me. I simply give it a thumbs up every time. What's weird is many people have noticed and either forwarded it to me in a post or commented in person basically calling her a dickhead. She's just embarrassing herself.

It's probably the best pic of you at your worst. ☺️

Goditsmemargaret · 08/05/2025 18:01

@StupidBoy Ann the photo sharing friend sounds like she's doing it on purpose. Let me guess; Sue is physically very attractive and usually looks great in photos? If that's the case then Sue probably just cringes for Ann as it's pretty transparent what's really going on.

I have a friend Dana who is extremely goodlooking but massively insecure. She is a PITA in many low level way. I am definitely far less goodlooking (if we are being shallow) but fairly photogenic. My photos always gets lots of compliments, usually with a surprised tone. I don't filter them, it's always been this way. I really don't care by the way, my fairly average looks haven't impacted my life, relationships or career so far.

Anyway Dana has a terrible photo of me taken at about 3am, cross-eyed with booze, red-faced, sweaty the whole lot. It's really bad. She's in it too looking lovely. Of course she reshares it constantly with a post that it's 'a gorgeous photo' of me. I simply give it a thumbs up every time. What's weird is many people have noticed and either forwarded it to me in a post or commented in person basically calling her a dickhead. She's just embarrassing herself.

Goditsmemargaret · 08/05/2025 17:50

Omg @MrsSunshine2b this has made me howl. What an absolute muppet. What's she like otherwise?