Should I have left so early?

I think if you are only able to meet someone for a short period of time, you have to let them know at which time you'll be leaving. I don't want to drive for 35 minutes only to meet with someone for an hour.

On the other hand, it's rude to keep someone waiting for a long time.

I think you both should have done better.

I think you're being a bit unreasonable here op tbh. How old are all your kids?

I think you suggested meeting at 10. She told you that didn't suit her and she'd be there for between 10.30/11. She then messaged you that morning saying it would be 11.15. You chose to go for 10 anyway because that's what suited you. To me that's as bad as being late if you're going to hold it against someone.

I think when you've kids sometimes shit is unpredictable- I've can remember going to meet a friend and ds took an up the back poo as soon as I put him in his car seat and I had to take him in and stick him in the bath it was so bad. I can remember other days where I wanted nothing more than to get out and be around other people but with ppa and a baby some days it just felt impossible but I made it and even though I'm sure it was frustrating I was late I felt like I'd just done a marathon. You have no idea what is going on with her, she may be struggling more than you think. From what you've written, it sounds like you made quite a flexible arrangement (which can be better sometimes when you have kids), you went when it suited you and your child and she arrived when she could. You had an hour to catch up. I really don't see why anyone would be annoyed by this.

I do think you're really unrealistic to think she's mad at you because she hasn't replied to a text for two days. Sometimes when I'm busy with ds I will also forget to text people back for a bit and every mum friend I have is the exact same. She hasn't given you any clear indication that she's annoyed or huffing - she's probably just busy. From what you've said about her working pt and having a husband it seems like you think you have it harder and therefore she has less excuse. I'm also a completely single parent and work full time and honestly I'd be quite appreciative of other parents who can be flexible with me - it works both ways. She might work less or have more help but she also has two kids to juggle and some babies are easier than others.

3hrs isn't a day out, that's half a day. A day out at that sort of place is 10-3 minimum.

I think you just need to be clearer about imes in future then there won't be any misunderstanding

Argh. Those messages are irrationally irritating me and they're not even for me!
Cannot abide people who try to pass off their flakiness as some sort of endearing ditzy trait with "oh what am I like" as the answer is usually a PITA.

People like that have no respect for other peoples time, you did the right thing
Maybe she won’t be so late the next time

Yes you should have made it clear you needed to leave at 12.30

Did she know it was only going to be a couple of hours, I would have assumed it was a day out type meet up so wouldn't have expected you to leave at 12:30.

Doesn't really sound like a proper meet up since you arrived earlier than she could make it?

Do you know if he was home?

Also he can't go to the toilet for one of her kids, he can't take one to the toilet once she's already left, he can't help her with the discussion about putting on a hat/coat/jumper/suncream whilst getting out of the car. It's a nightmare taking little kids out.

and she did nothing wrong turning up when it suited her.

Of course she was wrong to be 80 minutes later than she said she would be

Especially in this weather. It is 9 degrees where I am today.

You seem very conflicted. Alternating between being really defensive and angry with her and beating yourself up for not having communicated with her and assuming she's cross with you. Neither attitude is helpful really. She sounds annoying, you acted reasonably, she might be a bit put out. None of it is a big deal.

Of course as a mother of 2 kids and remembering what it was like getting them out of the house when they were younger(honestly with 1 child at 18months you've no clue how bad it be) I see this a bit differently.

I think if she's driven 35 minutes to spend a day with you and you leave after an hour (she was only 35 minutes after her eta and you said possibly bank holiday traffic) then yes she probably is a bit miffed with you. If you'd had told her on the morning you were leaving by that time then she had the chance to hurry up or cancel or whatever.

I just hope it's no issue for her to be alone there with her kids and that it was somewhere of interest to them so at least her drive was worthwhile.

I'm a bit afraid to ask why your baby couldn't have just napped in the pushchair? I know you probably say he can't/won't but believe you me if you ever have a second stuff like that won't be an option.

I think only having one child at 18months who doesn't answer back, use the toilet, discuss every single simple matter on getting into the car, run off in opposite direction to its sibling, refuse to come along and the fact you are able to scoop your child up without too much resistance does make a huge difference here.

I'm not saying your friend is right but I can easily see how it got to this and perhaps you both should have communicated better.

There’s clearly a lot more to this than meets the eye. Sound like you’re actually harbouring a lot of bitterness and resentment towards your friend. Just because she’s got support around her doesn’t mean that she’s not allowed to feel like she’s struggling, or have other worries. You actually don’t seem very friendly in your responses to PPs and if this came across to your friend today then yes id imagine she’s a bit pissed off.

If someone had told me they would be there for 10.30/11am, I would have left by 11.30am if they hadn’t turned up.

YANBU to have left at that time. She was really late.

i had a friend like that, I’m not hanging about waiting on someone who is so unorganised and can’t be arsed appearing on time. It’s just a lack of respect. We are no longer friends.