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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I have left so early?

168 replies

OneDenimQuoter · 04/05/2025 13:36

I meet a friend today who's got two kids and I've got one.

We live 35 mins from each other so I suggested to meet at a country type park. It opens at 10. She said she would get there for 10.30-11. She messaged on the day and said she would get there at 11.15. eventually see her at 11.50

Was I rude to leave at 12.50? We only spent an hour with each other but by that time I had been there for 3 hours and my 18 month old needed a nap and I wanted to get home.

Should I have made it clear I was needing to leave by 12.30 on a normal day to keep in line his nap day?

I thought being outside would be good.

Aibu for leaving

OP posts:
Blueskies25 · 04/05/2025 16:10

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That’s not really up to us to decide

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 16:08

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Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 16:07

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RightOnTheEdge · 04/05/2025 16:06

Duckiess · 04/05/2025 15:56

Basically you’re annoyed she doesn’t fit with your timings, for texting and meeting at a time which suits you. And you think she should because she has a DH.
I never understand these posters who are so personally offended by lateness, particularly when you’re not on time either (she said 11:15, so you arrived at 10!)

But she first said she would be there at 10.30-10.45, and the OP said she would be there at 10.

The friend text at 10.45 saying she would be there at 11.15.
The OP was already there and the friend hadn't even set off at the time she was supposed to meet there, so how was the OP not on time?

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 16:06

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Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 16:05

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Blueskies25 · 04/05/2025 16:05

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That’s her choice, her friend leaving her waiting wasn’t

AffableApple · 04/05/2025 16:03

Your friend gave you no useful notice of being late. You have an 18-month-old to keep occupied, so that's twattish behaviour.

I have twins. Of course it's much harder to leave the house with two than one. But if it wasn't working out I'd've given you better notice or cancelled. She had the longer journey and therefore had the advantage that she could have informed you in plenty of time.

YANBU. I wouldn't bother again.

Blueskies25 · 04/05/2025 16:03

timetotwist · 04/05/2025 15:58

she didn't even apologize

I think this is what's really rankling you and fair enough.

That would be annoying…. If you turn up as late as she did, you apologise

MoistVonL · 04/05/2025 16:03

I honestly think I'd have bailed by 11:30 or 11:45. She said she'd be there 10:30 to 11. She clearly meant "11 or later" and texted at 10:45 to push the time back. By 11:50 she was really taking the piss.

She should have been upfront with you from the start - "I don't like early starts on a Sunday, so I will meet you around lunchtime." You could have said yes or no as suited you. Instead she wasn't clear about her plan, was extremely late and neither of you had a good experience. Worst of both worlds.

35 minute drive isn't all that much for most people.

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 16:02

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Blueskies25 · 04/05/2025 16:02

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I have friends who are flakey and a bit annoying at times but they are still friends, maybe she is just temporarily annoyed because of the lack of respect her friend has shown her recently

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 16:01

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Livpool · 04/05/2025 15:59

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Exactly! I don’t know why people like this bother asking

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 15:59

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timetotwist · 04/05/2025 15:58

she didn't even apologize

I think this is what's really rankling you and fair enough.

WorryBear · 04/05/2025 15:57

I would have left at 11.30 or 11.45 missing her completely. So you were more than nice waiting for her 2 hours. Value your time more and care less about people who are disrespectful to your time and friendship. ;)

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 15:56

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Duckiess · 04/05/2025 15:56

Basically you’re annoyed she doesn’t fit with your timings, for texting and meeting at a time which suits you. And you think she should because she has a DH.
I never understand these posters who are so personally offended by lateness, particularly when you’re not on time either (she said 11:15, so you arrived at 10!)

Eldermillennialmum · 04/05/2025 15:56

OP you said you'd get there for 10 right? It should have occurred to your friend that you might not want to wait around all day and that you'd already been there for 2 hours once she got there.

it is a bit odd you didn't arrange to arrive at the same time to start with ie did you always plan to get there by 10 and her for 11

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 15:55

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Blueskies25 · 04/05/2025 15:55

Ponoka7 · 04/05/2025 15:25

That should make you come to the realisation that neither of you are true friends.

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Not necessarily but possibly

Sunnyevenings · 04/05/2025 15:51

Pineapplewaves · 04/05/2025 15:32

If I’ve got to travel 35 minutes to get somewhere I’m staying there for the day. Could you not have taken a picnic and a pushchair for your child to nap in. You could have had a lovely day walking around the country park, nice picnic, time at the play park, ice cream afterwards etc.

It seems a waste of time to have travelled all that way for an hour. I would have cracked on with my day and left my friend to come and find me once she eventually arrived.

35 mins and 'all that way' don't belong in the same sentence.

Thats a school run/short commute for many people!

Sunnyevenings · 04/05/2025 15:49

OneDenimQuoter · 04/05/2025 15:34

If I went to her it's 35 minutes.... She didn't mention about meeting half way. And it takes me 15 mins to get to the place. Also it's just a park type place you go to. With nice buggy friendly paths and a park. She goes there lots.

Also I wouldn't be arriving at midday when someone arrives at 10?

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Its 15 mins drive away? Or even 35 mins drive isn't far is it?

I live in the suburbs of a city and due to traffic, spending half an hour in the car isn't much time at all.

When making arrangements, I usually say to people that I need to leave at x time so they are aware in advance.

If its only a short distance from both your houses, it sounds like a very casual and loose arrangement. I'm sure you'll catch up again another time. Don't worry about it.

Chewygummy · 04/05/2025 15:42

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