To be annoyed at DH unrealistic exprctations

Your poor child. They can't be returned, unlike the helpless puppy your neanderthal of a husband wanted.

Give the puppy back to the breeder before it is traumatised and then look at divorcing the immature loser.

You need to stand up for yourself and your son, right now.

You're "not allowed"?

That's all I needed to read really.

You're not a child.

He sounds like a bully to all three of you and a vile, unpleasant man.

Take your child and the puppy and leave. You all deserve to thrive in a free and happy home

Well replace crate with shed and shove dh in that.

Only keep the dog if you wanted a dog, the breeder will be able to find another home for the dog so don't feel obliged to keep hold, this is not your responsibility it's his and he isn't able to deal with his responsibilities.

This is a really good point. If you able to realise at the root of all your problems is this horrible angry man, and can press the divorce button asap, then you can keep the dog.

I would ditch the husband and keep the puppy.

Keep the dog, get rid of the husband!

Get rid of husband, keep dog and kid

perfect life ensues

YABU for getting a puppy when your H is such a shit dad and shit to you as well. Would seek to rehome the dog and plan to LTB.

And re-home yourself and your child while you're at it

I would be testing out that theory.

Protect your child.
Re-home the puppy.

See a solicitor.

Your question is the wrong one.

It should be ‘how do I go about divorcing a man who I’ve realised is nasty, controlling and horrible to live with. I don’t want my child to grow up walking on egg shells. What do I do? ‘

I would make the tough decision to rehome the dog now, the breeder might take it back at this point because it’s young enough to find a new home for quite easily.
You also need to have a serious think about this relationship and whether you and DS would be happier without DH around

Rehome the dog, then rehome yourself and your son. This man shouldn't live with anyone or any animal.

Seriously: you MUST return the puppy now, whilst it is young enough to be rehomed without too many issues.

but also consider whether staying with your husband is wise. Because he will NOT change. This is who he is and he will damage your child if you allow this borderline abusive behaviour to continue.

You picked the wrong man. Sometimes it isn’t obvious until after you’ve had a kid and they finally show what they’re really like, but now you know what he is like so you know you’ve picked the wrong man. Imagine what he will be like when you have a teenager doing all the normal teenage defiance.

You can live with your mistake or you can leave, but you will not be able to change him so those are choices. Live with it or leave.

Wow, I'm more concerned about the fact you've stayed with a man who won't even let his own child enjoy his own home and play.

He showed you who he was before you got the puppy, so I'm not sure why you expected any different this time round.

Why are you staying with this awful person and letting your child be treated like this?

If you can return the puppy to the breeder, frankly, I think if would be for the best. It’s unfair to expect a child or pup to thrive in such a toxic controlled environment. Furthermore, is there any possibility he could be violent towards the puppy if for example it soils in the house or does something to displease him, as it matures. A dog can live for 13+ years so brace yourself.

As for his attitude towards your child, roll forward to the teen years, testosterone rising in your son! Brace yourself for that as dad and son clash.

Good luck OP. In your shoes I think I’d start a running away fund.

This

This.

We have a Labrador and we all absolutely adore him, love him, would never be without him. But for the first year of his life he was HARD work, biting, eating things he shouldn’t, destroying furniture or toys if not watched 24/7, pulling on the lead, not sleeping all night, recall training which is an endless job, barking/whining at absolutely nothing, unable to be left alone etc. The training that goes into raising a well rounded dog is massive, it takes more time, patience and effort than you ever imagine and more patience and effort, if he already can’t be arsed after 1 week then send the dog back so it can be placed in a home where it will get exactly what it needs.

Definitely take the dog back to the breeder now while it's young enough to be rehomed to someone who isn't a twat. Poor puppy deserves better.
Think very hard about whether your 4 year old deserves better too!

Id tell him you feel his pain, you got a husband & is fucking grumpy when things don't go his way - no putting the effort and time in to mske stuff happen, jyst expects it to happen,

repeat as needed

Return the dog to the breeder and decide if this angry, low intellect man is really what you want in life.

Do not have another child with this man child, let alone a pet 🙄