To be annoyed at DH unrealistic exprctations

Rehome the husband first of all.

Husband needs to go

ITA! Keep the dog, rehome the asshole. The dog will give you much more love back.

This "man" is a person you are letting around your son? Why, oh why, do women put up with this crap? Your DS, the day he was born, became number one. Your AHWNAADH (asshole, worthless, not at all dear husband) treats your child like crap, and you are allowing it. Now he is treating the dog like crap, and you're allowing it.

Let him live all by his lonesome. He deserves nothing more.

Sounds like the husband needs rehoming…

@NotSorry are you not worried about Littermate Syndrome?

I would ask what redeeming qualities he has that makes you stay with him.

But if those qualities only appear when he’s completely happy and everyone else is doing whatever he wants, then they don’t actually count.

I’m guessing he’s great if you’re walking around on egg shells, pandering to him and keeping the dog and child out of his way.
Those times do not count.

Raise your bar OP.
He’s not even giving you the bare minimum of what it means to be an equal partner.

I agree that this is just how he is. He has a very low threshold for annoyance and inconvenience. Some people are just more irritable than others, and if the way he handles his frustration is by making your life miserable, I wouldn't expect that to change.

The choice is yours. Try to change him for the better (probably impossible and certainly an on-going lifelong 'job'). Ignore him when he's in his moods and live life as usual (not easily done). Accept that this is how he is and spend you life avoiding situations that will trigger him (difficult when he lacks self-awareness to help himself by not insisting on things like getting a puppy) Leave him (but with a shared child, he'll always be in your life).

What a thicko.

Re home the husband. Nobody needs an angry selfish wanker in their home.

I am sorry op but I think the only sensible option is for you to re-home him. It's not always easy though to re-home grumpy old gobshites so good luck with that.

My OH has 3 dds, when we got ddog, it almost broke me. HE almost broke me.

I said to him that if I was his former wife I would NEVER have had more than one kid with him after seeing what he must have been like with a baby.

told him to chill out and grow up.

@Outandabout43 suggest you do the same.

Your future;

Pup will grow up nervous and anxious feeling unloved and will be much harder to train, resulting in behavioural issues. And your husband will take his temper out on it in worse ways as it gets older.

Son will reach 14/15 years old, realise he's now stronger than dad and they'll have a scrap. He'll then move out, taking a bunch of mental health issues with him and quite likely copy his dad's behaviour and in a couple of decades' time some woman will be posting on whatever is the 2045 version of mumsnst asking whether she should leave him.

Or you could realise your worth, protect your child, and leave. Take pup with you if you can cope with both a pup and child or send it back to the breeder and quickly.

HTH.

How do I get it through to him it just needs patience (which appears to be something he lacks

I think you should focus on getting through to yourself, you need a seriously strong word with yourself, Is this how you want your little boys childhood to be?

Send the dog back to the breeder, yabvu to have gotten the dog knowing how he treated your baby

Another vote for taking the puppy back - you can be honest with the breeder and say your DH has unrealistic expectations and you don't think the puppy would have a good upbringing. As much as my heart says keep the dog and lose the man, divorce takes time and the puppy will find another home easily at this stage which will be better than trying to raise a puppy while separating.

Whatever you decide to do, please don't let this man control you and your DS, like banning you from rooms and banning DS from playing. You both deserve better than this.

Return the dog to the breeder if you can , and write off your financial losses.

Seriously reconsider whether you want to spend the rest of your life being ordered around by a stupid, stroppy man with the attention span of a gnat.

Mm, rehome the dog, ideally, return to breeder.

My main job is advising people on puppy training and development. It is going to be a year to 18 months before your dog can reliably do all your 'D'H expects.

And it won't happen unless both the adults in the house are putting in the time and effort in training, habituating, socialising etc.

Since I am not at work, I'd also strongly recommend you rehome the husband far far away (not allowed to say that at work but frequently want to!).

It sounds like the best thing for everyone probably is to re-home the puppy. If you purchased from a reputable breeder, they should take them back.

Yes, there are bigger issues, but it sounds like you don’t need to overly complicate your life right now.

He was unreasonable to think a baby dog would be much different from a baby human.

You were unreasonable to think he would be different with a baby dog than with a baby human!

Don’t get rid of the dog, get rid of the man.

Stick with it @Outandabout43

its not forever and DS needs to be able to play so that ddog can get used to it.

you can do this . The young kid years are hard, the puppy months are even harder I think 😆

Getting a puppy was a bad idea. I'd rehome the husband.

And a life time of therapy for the poor lad.

Your dh is emotionally abusive. I wouldn’t let my children grow up with a man like that.o

I’d be a lot more than ‘annoyed’. I’d be divorcing.

I will take the dog if you decide to keep the husband.

Re-home the husband and keep the dog.