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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have complained about the disabled worker in Tesco?

136 replies

twigtree · 04/05/2025 10:24

There's a long-standing staff member at my local Tesco Express who has difficulty walking and is usually on the till. While I appreciate he has mobility issues, his customer service has been consistently bad for years. He regularly sighs and seems annoyed by basic requests like a receipt or pointing out a wrong price. He also shouts if I don't hear him the first time.

I generally use the self-service to avoid him, but the other day I had an issue where the till kept erroring (someone else's bag was briefly on the scales). He was the one assisting, and despite my explaining the situation, he just stood there and shouted at me to remove the item, even after I had. I had to tell him firmly not to speak to me like that.

I've now complained to head office about this pattern of rude behaviour. AIBU?

OP posts:
TheignT · 04/05/2025 13:57

MelliC · 04/05/2025 13:31

I think the disability has everything to do with it : you would be much more likely to give a disabled person leeway in this situation given. Along the lines of he probably needs the job more than you need excellent customer service. Right now he is obviously struggling but reporting him is not going to help.

Well it might help him. Maybe he isn't comfortable with certain roles, maybe he needs more training, maybe he's being pushed to do more hours than he is comfortable with. If the management are any good they can assess what is going on and address it which might help him and his customers.

User450877 · 04/05/2025 13:55

It’s a tough one - I’d have said I wouldn’t have complained but you’ve said you’ve let many things go over the years so, I can see why you’ve complained now. It does sound like this man has a hard life - easy to think he shouldn’t be in a customer facing role…

it’s one of the things I really like about my local Tesco, that they are a supportive employer but we don’t have anyone who behaves so poorly.

menopausalfart · 04/05/2025 13:53

@deboh. There are lots of jobs where you don't have to serve customers.

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 04/05/2025 13:52

Soontobe60 · 04/05/2025 13:49

The OP said he shouted at her when she didn’t hear him the first time - maybe he thinks shes deaf!

The OP also says that she has seen him shouting at other women … Maybe he thinks they are all deaf?

Soontobe60 · 04/05/2025 13:49

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 04/05/2025 13:47

This guy is shouting at customers. Not the same.

The OP said he shouted at her when she didn’t hear him the first time - maybe he thinks shes deaf!

Soontobe60 · 04/05/2025 13:47

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:32

So let him keep shouting at customers? I have seen him shout at mostly women to who end up just going silent and not speaking up.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe this now. If he’s constantly shouting at customers then his employers are not doing their job properly.

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 04/05/2025 13:47

Soontobe60 · 04/05/2025 13:45

YABU because you are focusing on his disability rather than his customer service skills. In my local Tesco, there is a man who seems to have some sort of intellectual disability who does a range of jobs. Currently he’s learning how to assist on the self service tills. It takes him a little longer, sometimes has to ask another assistant for help and can get flummoxed. So what? Should he not be given the opportunity because he takes a minute or two longer? Because he can sometimes appear irate with the till or himself? That he gets a bit tongue tied?
Just because he doesn’t fit into societal norms of what a shop assistant should be like doesn’t mean he should be scapegoated.

This guy is shouting at customers. Not the same.

Soontobe60 · 04/05/2025 13:45

YABU because you are focusing on his disability rather than his customer service skills. In my local Tesco, there is a man who seems to have some sort of intellectual disability who does a range of jobs. Currently he’s learning how to assist on the self service tills. It takes him a little longer, sometimes has to ask another assistant for help and can get flummoxed. So what? Should he not be given the opportunity because he takes a minute or two longer? Because he can sometimes appear irate with the till or himself? That he gets a bit tongue tied?
Just because he doesn’t fit into societal norms of what a shop assistant should be like doesn’t mean he should be scapegoated.

lifeonmars100 · 04/05/2025 13:43

he is rude and not doing his job properly, of course you should have complained.

Deboh · 04/05/2025 13:39

ImogenBluebell · 04/05/2025 13:35

The NHS, in my experience.

Yes fair enough mine too. Particularly women that like to scratch their claws on other women almost like a hobby.

Americano75 · 04/05/2025 13:39

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:32

So let him keep shouting at customers? I have seen him shout at mostly women to who end up just going silent and not speaking up.

Plus the shop will lose customers. I very rarely use the Asda that's practically on my doorstep because some of their staff are awful.

SapphireSeptember · 04/05/2025 13:39

ImogenBluebell · 04/05/2025 13:18

If you report him he’s going to struggle more.

Not necessarily. You don't get the sack because one person complained these days (thank goodness.) He might get a disciplinary or a 'record of conversation'. Big deal. I've had several of each!

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:36

ImogenBluebell · 04/05/2025 13:34

It isn’t exactly the same, but having worked with hundreds of autistic people over 30 years, there have been comments from teachers and members of the public about their ‘rudeness’ and slowness in responding to requests.

Rudeness is one thing. Shouting at customers is another.

OP posts:
Offonagadwaddick · 04/05/2025 13:35

You can still be a rude arsehole and disabled.

Last time I was told I was brave and inspirational for leaving my house (I use a wheelchair I haven't achieved world peace ffs) I told them I could still be a git.

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:35

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 04/05/2025 13:34

Maybe they just rushed home and contacted head office like you did?

If they did, it made no difference. He is still shouting 😂

OP posts:
ImogenBluebell · 04/05/2025 13:35

Deboh · 04/05/2025 13:28

Which job are you allowed to do that in?

The NHS, in my experience.

SapphireSeptember · 04/05/2025 13:34

twigtree · 04/05/2025 11:41

OK, how?

I echo this, although @Hwi is often argumentative for the sheer hell of it. Hmm

I feel like being one of those people. I'm autistic, I've also worked in retail for years (Sainsbury's for 11 years and Screwfix for three.) Managed to not be rude to people unless they've really pushed me (told one bloke to fuck off once, because he was being so patronising to me I lost my temper, and walked away.) My store manager at Screwfix was much more supportive and if customers were being obnoxious we got him or one of the other managers to deal with them. Otherwise I'd do my best to help people. OP is in the right. If she was disabled as well would all you people be so happy to jump all over her? I hate being shouted at.

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 04/05/2025 13:34

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:32

So let him keep shouting at customers? I have seen him shout at mostly women to who end up just going silent and not speaking up.

Maybe they just rushed home and contacted head office like you did?

ImogenBluebell · 04/05/2025 13:34

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:29

That is hardly the same.

It isn’t exactly the same, but having worked with hundreds of autistic people over 30 years, there have been comments from teachers and members of the public about their ‘rudeness’ and slowness in responding to requests.

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:32

ImogenBluebell · 04/05/2025 13:18

If you report him he’s going to struggle more.

So let him keep shouting at customers? I have seen him shout at mostly women to who end up just going silent and not speaking up.

OP posts:
Worriedsickmostofthetime · 04/05/2025 13:32

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 04/05/2025 13:29

It's a power trip I think.

So many won't say a word face-to-face, but they'll run home and contact head office by email or phone immediately.

Because sometimes when confronted people can be a bit unhinged! I would happily go and tell a store manager if I was being treated poorly but I doubt I would take it up with the person themselves.

My best comeback to rude treatment is simply to ask them… ‘Are you ok?…’

MelliC · 04/05/2025 13:31

I think the disability has everything to do with it : you would be much more likely to give a disabled person leeway in this situation given. Along the lines of he probably needs the job more than you need excellent customer service. Right now he is obviously struggling but reporting him is not going to help.

godmum56 · 04/05/2025 13:30

Bridestone · 04/05/2025 10:28

But I don’t see why you’re highlighting his disability, which doesn’t in any way seem relevant to his rudeness? Or are you suggesting he has an intellectual disability too, which may affect his communication?

no , I get it. Sometimes people are reluctant to complain about someone's rudeness if they have a disability, like its understandable for a disabled person to be rude to someone who isn't disabled.....like in dramas, disabled people could never be the villain.

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 04/05/2025 13:29

BallerinaRadio · 04/05/2025 12:15

What is with Mumsnet and people having personal vendettas with shop workers? It's nuts

It's a power trip I think.

So many won't say a word face-to-face, but they'll run home and contact head office by email or phone immediately.

twigtree · 04/05/2025 13:29

ImogenBluebell · 04/05/2025 13:20

So do I. When autistic people are forced off PIP and into jobs, is the OP going to complain that they don’t make eye contact?

That is hardly the same.

OP posts:
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