To think son’s school should be making special allowances for his ADHD

That’s true, and OP says her child is not disruptive. But if he is continually moving/fidgeting or the teacher keeps having to remind him to focus, I don’t see how it can fail to have an impact on other children.

My prescriber explained to me that ADHD meds are short acting i.e. you take them, they work, then leave your system. They don't build up like antidepressants. She said plenty of people just take them for work.

You should seek a second opinion I reckon.

Then it sounds like not giving him a pen makes a lot of sense if he’s struggling to pay attention and fidgeting. Of course you can’t force him - don’t know how you’d actually physically force a 9 year old to swallow a pill without it being pretty traumatic for everyone - but he can’t expect life to just carry on as ever if he needs to have extra accommodations on the days he refuses. Hopefully this will help show him cause and effect really concretely as I know that was a challenge for my brother

There may or may not be an impact on the other children. Not all children with adhd will be disruptive.

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The school should be making adjustments regardless of whether he has taken his medication. Does he have an action plan? Maybe arrange a meeting with the SENCO / teacher to discuss this. You can’t force him to take the medication. What reason does he give for not taking? If it’s side effects his dr may be able to review this. Consequences are very difficult for the ADHD brain to grasp

Agree with this - my two both take medication and the advice was to take it every day, even if they had a slightly reduced dose at weekends, because the body struggles with the stop/start nature of it.

You and your son need to work with him to understand that his medication is not like a paracetamol that he takes to deal with symptoms that are inconvenient; they are a regulating medication like statins or diabetic meds. There need to be consequences at home for refusal to take them - Ie, if he doesn’t take his meds, then he loses gaming/playstation privileges (or whatever it is that values most highly).

Losing pen privilege seems petty, but it does sound as though you also need to pursue obtaining an ECHP so that all parties - school, you and your son understand that their obligations and duties are… and they will likely also require your DS to take his medication daily.

My son, also in Year 4, takes medication 3 times a day (though, not for ADHD) and it is non negotiable despite the fact that he doesn't always like it because it reminds him of why he now needs to take medication but it has to be done and that's that.

I think Year 4 is old enough to know that if I don't take my meds then I might have my pen license taken away for the day or I can take my meds and that is far more likely not to happen. Actions have consequences.

Sorry, but when a child ‘refuses’ to do something, I always feel the parents have not done their job properly, and I get that impression here.
YOU are the parent and should be in charge. Your child should never have been allowed to refuse anything you want him or her to do.
Before you all come down on me like a ton of bricks, I accept that the ADHD is a big issue, but I still think even a child with that can be guided to do as they are told.
I think a lot of the problems these days are caused by weak parents.
I know I am going to have a deluge of abuse after saying this, but I defend my right to have an opinion. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. I respect that but I feel I should be able to say what I want to say without abuse. It is not meant as a personal attack. You have your reasons for how you bring up your child and I am just pointing out how it comes across to me.

There’s various strengths of medication. My DS is on a low dose for inattentive ADHD. That was not picked up until he was 14. No behaviour issues.

We don’t know about the OP’s son so can’t make assumptions on his behaviour and whether it’s disruptive.

There’s always an assumption that boys with ADHD are bouncing off the walls. This is untrue. It presents differently in everyone. Girls are also very different with ADHD.

Most people do not understand about ADHD and there’s a lot of misinformation out there.

Regardless of this, forcing him to take the meds is not the way forward and not good advice.

This did not work for my son. He’s a bit older but really did need to figure it out for himself.

I’m glad I don’t teach your children too.
I’m not "shaming" the parents in any way, simply giving my experiences of what it’s like in a classroom with a child who has been prescribed ADHD medication to help them cope with life but not taken it, plus 29 other children who want to learn in peace and also deserve their share of the teacher's attention and time. If you prefer not to hear about that because you find it uncomfortable, that’s your problem, not mine.

If he's a 9 year old boy on medication then there is likely to be a behaviour issue unfortunately. It might be very minor by the way - moving around a lot rather than biting people! - but these are powerful drugs and aren't given lightly.

It works two ways, yes it seems a bit petty to take away his pen but on the other hand he needs to learn there are consequences for not taking his medication. Perhaps the teacher is using this as the stick approach to get him to take them. Remember I suspect the issues in class run far deeper than handwriting when he’s not taken them affecting other students.

sit down with the teacher and come to a joint approach including getting him to take his meds, and what will happen if he doesn’t

We don’t know if his behaviour is impacting anyone else. Not all children with ADHD are disruptive.

Or just explain that he is just writing in pencil for the days he doesn't take his medicine and you know it's just a pencil.

This is going to depend on the school and how receptive they are. But if they say no then you need tackle what you can influence and that is that some days he writes in pen some in pencil.

100%

Yes.

While the impact of not taking meds is on others as well, children totally need body autonomy.

Mine suppresses my appetite. Maybe he's not coping with some side effects. Might be worth a chat.

Has the OP said her child is disruptive when he doesn’t take his meds? Or that he’s just losing the pen license?

We seem to have made a big jump here that he’s bouncing off the walls and causing issues. We don’t know that. My DS never did.

And you were very restrained not mentioning the undoubted effects on the other children in the class (even if only by reducing the amount of attention available for them) on the days the child hadn’t taken the medication.

@TheFastTraybake I'm a bit surprised at your post. Actions / choices DO have consequences. I'm not sure why it's shaming for a child. He needs to learn his decisions affect other people as well as himself. I have worked with young people with ADHD and can immediately tell whether they have taken their medication or not. It really won't just be this little boy's writing that deteriorates but probably also his general ability to manage being in the classroom. This impacts him but will also impact others.

Trust me, if he's severe enough that he's got medication - the children know.

I am a teacher with ADHD, I take my meds everyday. My performance at work has improved significantly in the 6 months I've had them.

When pupils don't take their medication, it makes for very difficult days that involve lots of paperwork and situation management, that have an impact on every child in the room. If the only consequences so far is having to write in pencil, then his school are being amazing.

Do you warn the school on days he hasn't had his meds? That can be a really helpful thing - helps to set the tone of the day for the adults so that they can manage behaviour gently but effectively.

My brother has adhd and has to take his medication every single day - not just work days and never skipping a day or it all goes a bit difficult for him. Did the doctor say he should only take it on weekdays?

I think he’s old enough to work within a reasonable expectation. If he’s not going to do it, then there’s nothing the school can do. Definitely not the school’s responsibility to police his choices as they just have to deal with the consequences. I’d focus more on working with your son - maybe find some examples of people he admires who also have to take daily medication or ask around for a support group of some sort so he can see it’s not just him. I understand it can be quite isolating (my daughter and I are autistic and she has eczema so we have had lots of medication battles here too) but there are communities out there for both you and him and that might help.

Is the pen license being taken away as a punishment or is he just being required to use pencil on the days where he is struggling to write legibly in pen? I think it would be reasonable for the teacher to ask him to write in pencil if he’s struggling on that particular day but I don’t think it’s reasonable if the removal of the pen license is being used to shame him or make him feel he’s done something wrong. I also don’t think it’s reasonable if he’s prevented from trying again the next day when presumably he might be able to write more legibly. The whole idea of a pen license is ridiculous IMO as it places unnecessary shame on the kids who ( for reasons completely out of their control) cannot write as well 🙄🙄.

I’d also recommend trying to work on his acceptance of his ADHD by discussing how ADHD brains work. Not just talking about how medication makes things easier but what specific skills might be harder and also what kinds of things people with ADHD might be particularly good at. It can also help to research well known people with ADHD and what they’ve said about living with ADHD especially if you can find someone familiar to him or whom he thinks of as a role model (eg a sports star, musician, actor that he already knows).

@MadKittenWoman "He needs to learn to accept that actions have consequences. A year 4 child should not be making their own medical decisions". Isn't that a complete contradiction?

I think it's a safeguarding issue to force a child to take very strong meds against their will so a teacher won't take away their pen licence.