Executor asking for money back

I agree about wanting to see some paperwork, but if the tax amount is true I would be paying it.

I agree with this ^

It appears that BIL was a bit of an idiot and rushed the release of the inheritance money WITHOUT paying tax because a couple of the beneficiaries needed the money quickly

BIL should have made it clear that tax had not yet been paid

He definitely messed up. But I wouldn't drop him in it by not paying up

However before I paid anything back to him, I'd want to see an official financial statement

It’s up to your husband but if I were him I’d ask for the accounts so he can u see stand what happened and be sure that all is now settled.
Being executor is a tiresome job and it sounds like his brother should’ve waited to distribute funds - he shouldn’t lose out himself for making this mistake.

You and your son need to stop looking at the money as yours when it was your husband's inheritance. Comments like complaining about being given money "with no notice" show that you are an utterly ridiculous person for anyone to try to work with. While it's very obvious that you've never liked his brothers, it's their mum who chose which one was to be executor, so you need to respect that choice.

As it is your DH's brother, let him decide for himself if he wants to see figures to validate the tax amount or just give it to his brother. It's really not worth a fall-out to him, he's already said that, so stop interfering.

This.
When I was co-executor for my late Fathers will the solicitor released the funds, NOT the executors. Other countries will potentially have different laws but do get sight of the tax statement.

You used the $ sign. Which country are you in?

(A large proportion of mumsnet users are UK based)

First of all as the one inheriting I’d want proof, proof, proof. Then I’d decide. Has your H asked for this?

DH was executor for his father last year. The estate was divided 50/50 between him and his brother, not close but always honest.
FiL passed in April 2023. Inheritance tax was first then probate then releasing the final funds as agreed by the lawyer. Week before last DH had a letter from HMRC asking for more tax. Tax had already been paid via the solicitor before funds were finally released. DH spoke with solicitor and she said HMRC can come back anytime but usually within 10 years!
DH spoke to HMRC for confirmation and they said oh hang on, yes we got the money from the solicitor but didn’t allocate it. And then from somewhere found DH did actually need to pay another approx £80. Sigh. He paid it and didn’t bother to tell BiL who would have blamed DH.
DH kept meticulous records as did the solicitor. Final
accounts were sent to both executors (DH and DB) to sign before final funds were released.
I would ask for the accounts and say you will consider if everything is in order.
£40k is a lot of tax with all the exemptions available. But property is expensive so maybe that’s true.

Obviously you give the money back. Why should the brother who's done all the work and taken all the responsibility be left on the hook and personally liable?

An Executors role is to collect all monies owing to the deceased and pay all debts prior to any distribution of remaining balances. By his own admission your husbands brother released funds early and is now personally liable for settling taxes that he didn’t deal with prior to distribution. He should have been keeping detailed accounts so as a first step I would ask for these to see exactly what the true picture is. If the taxes are owing then the right thing to do is for your husband to settle his share and for you to be supportive in him doing this. If the brother hasn’t kept proper accounts then he needs to go back and look at everything that he has done and produce some. The whole thing sounds a mess quite frankly. A lot of assumptions being made on this thread but note you’re talking about $ so rules on inheritance tax etc could be very different where you live.

I was going to say this!! Surely a random large tax owing wouldn't be a nice round number like 40% split nearly between 4 beneficiaries.

It's possible that the executer was mismanaging the inheritance for their/their brothers' benefit like buying a house and I think this is forgivable IF TRUE. This isn't the UK I'm guessing as you generally can't release funds until all the estates debts are paid. It's possibly it's different elsewhere but seems very foolish.

It's also been years, surely any tax outstanding would have come up before now.

I would be very suspicious and do what very sensible pp advised. Speak to the solicitor involved, ask for proof, only pay the relevent authority not the brother.

Sounds like inexperience on the executor's part. Monies should not be released until all claims on the estate have been paid, especially tax.

This is totally your dh's call. It is his inheritance, his family, but losing a brother over $10k would be madness. If tax is really due from the estate, it needs paying, and should be shared in the same proportion as the estate, in this case equally.

I would ask for a copy of the tax demand, and then pay without hesitating. I would never dream of ripping my own brother off over an honest mistake.

Funds from probate are not released until all liabilities have been paid! Regardless of the brother’s home circumstances a lawyer will not release any money! Sounds like the brother is a chancer and without any hard evidence no money should be handed over!

You should post this in the legal section for better advice. However if someone with personal accountability had made a mistake in distributing an estate I’d certainly return anything overpaid to me if I had sight of the accounts to prove it.

With proof being shown, yes you should give him the money. Without it no way.

Without full documentation outlining all the details of the probate and subsequent distribution of funds, fees and expenses incurred, then no.

Agree on asking for proof, but if true, then yes i’d be paying it. Being an executor is not easy and I don’t think it’s fair that the executor has to pay the tax in the entirety. Relationship or not, it’s not what his mother would want. But he would be a fool to pay without paperwork.

What country are you in?

In England, the house can’t be sold without the grant of probate. The grant isn’t issued until you’ve got a reference number from HMRC confirming that you have paid whatever IHT is due (property solicitor and I did my mum’s probate application in 2021).

Ask for the proof it is owed and pay up. No proof don’t pay.

My DC would not be calling his DF a fool for trying to do the right thing. You’ve raised your DS with your morals. Your DH is not a fool for trying to clarify the situation and pay the money if it is due.

Or just contact the tax office and pay them directly

I'm going against the grain.

Executer made a mistake that ended up in your husband and the other beneficiaries favour. Being an executer is a very difficult job, he was under pressure from his other brother and grieving. That doesn't make it OK but it also puts it into context of the difficult position he was having.

I'm assuming the tax bill is for the tax return that was lodged on behalf of the deceased for the year that they died in.

I would ask for the documentation, read it to verify the error and give the money back.

If your employer accidentally over pays you, you are obligated to return the money. If the bank accidentally puts money in your account you are obliged to pay. I think that you just are trying to be a cow to the brother because you don't like him. Plus it is your husband's decision and you are disagreeing with him which isn't fair.

Get the paperwork. If he doesn’t come forward with it, no money. He didn’t tell you the money was landing into your accounts, so I doubt he’s going to share the paperwork.

DH's brother came to our door demanding his share of their mum's funeral costs.

She died broke and the council or the DWP (can't remember which as it was many years ago) paid the bill. A very basic service. The chancer. Probably was after cash to prop up his after work weed habit.

I put the brakes on that or my DH would have given it to him.

Be careful. Warn your DH that you can't always trust family when thousands of pounds are involved. It's unfortunate and cynical but all too often true.

Imagine he just hands it over and the money disappears. You have no proof now and you'll have no proof the brother has had it, so he could come back for another chunk later on.

You can't force your DH's hand but you can point out he needs to be sensible in order to protect your little family.

Ugh.probate, not private, sorry.

How did they get private before paying tax? Surely you pay tax first, then private is granted, then funds are distributed.