Executor asking for money back

Oops! Didn’t notice that. Apologies!

I edited my original post within a minute to acknowledge the OP isn't in the UK!

in England the executor may be personally liable if they distributed the estate before all debts have been settled.
https://www.gov.uk/probate-estate/distribute-the-estate
It seems that some people who take on the executor role don’t really understand what they are doing or the personal liability that goes with the role.

I'd want a spreadsheet of the entire estate and any valuables and furniture etc they may well leave it. Although if he shows this then you need to be prepared to hand it over.

the op is not in the uk, but why would the bank be offering advice on whether or not there it tax to pay?

Why wouldn’t you pay this back. I get verifying it but expecting a windfall because your brother made a mistake is morally reprehensible.

Isn’t that the point though that the OP is reliant on the bank telling her something as why there isn’t tax to pay?

If it's a genuine error (and it's totally reasonable to ask for proof) I can't believe the number of people who'd leave it to the executor sibling to pay.

My DB and DSis were executors of my DF's will. My other DB and I were equal beneficiaries with none of the work or responsibility. I am so grateful to them for having done it and would not dream of financially shafting them if an error had been made or a late tax bill materialised.

If you read my post, I did say once the tax had been confirmed. I still stand by what I said.

Exactly!
it’s for the dh as beneficiary to liaise with the executor, but there is also a we discussion between spouses as the situation affects their joint financial situation.

Executer of a will is a shit job, after seeing the hassle my sister went through recently I swore I will never do it. I actually had to give some money back after there was a miscommunication over the proceeds of my mum's will, it was a small amount as she didnt leave a lot, and i did it without complaint. Personally if it can be shown that your dh was over paid in error I would be willing to pay it back, but ultimately it's up to him. I also think your oldest son should keep his beak out.

Any IHT should have been paid before the monies released to beneficiaries. Has your DH deen the accounts from the probate paperwork BIL submitted? If it's an honest mistake then think your DH has to decide whether he wants the money or the relationship with his brother. And tbh asking for it back may have already soured the future relationship.

@Tiswa Since when is the bank a tax adviser?

Regarding “we”. Most married couples would talk about this difficulty! It’s not assuming the money belongs to the op. It’s assuming it’s a discussion between a married couple.

What if the OP has already contributed several million pounds into their joint finances and this is the first money ever to come in from her partner? Is it still his to do whatever he wants with? If he did take that that attitude might she be reasonable to reconsider hers?

Please ask to see ALL the paperwork.
I know someone who was asked for 10k and it turned out the real figures had not included any belongings of the deceased and they were owed 59k.

The problem is that the law doesn't work like that in England and may not work like that wherever OP is, so it's a bit silly to be telling her she owns half the money when you don't know the legal position. At divorce, when the money is unspent it can be treated as individual inheritance.

There is a moral element here, where DH doesn't fancy ripping off his brother due to an honest mistake but OP is happy to. OP may yet find out how assets are treated in divorce with this sort of behaviour, so it's unwise to give her false hope of what she will be entitled to.

Surely the bank just told you YOU don’t need to pay tax not that the estate didn’t need to pay?

yiur husband needs proper proof - paperwork and paper trail and take it from there

The op needs to look at the rules where she is. Uk law isn’t helpful if it’s not Uk. However if she said where she was some people might have accurate advice. Feeling sorry for the executor is misplaced though.

Why isn’t it ‘we’ ? OP indicated that the money was paid into their joint account (‘our bank’). That renders it a joint marital asset and as one half of the relationship OP is entitled to an equal say in what happens to it.

TizerorFizz · Today 10:02

"In the uk it would actually be the executor paying this. They have sole responsibility!"

Precisely why I asked.

In the uk it would actually be the executor paying this. They have sole responsibility!

@tripleginandtonic Most of us in marriages do discuss what WE do! We might have had plans for the money! This is now an expense. A big one if the Op and Dh have spent the money! Of course it’s WE at this stage.

It's not we, it's your dhs decision. Whatever he wants to do .

Be fair to the brother who was executor. But - make sure you have clear evidence that what he is saying is true before sending him any money. He could be have made this up.

This exactly. No paperwork no money. He's entitled to see everything, at the end of the day he's trusted that the amount received was a quarter of the home sold but without seeing paperwork how does he know he wasn't short changed