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AIBU?

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Original poster

21 times a month????

42 replies

TiramisuQueenoftheFairies · 03/05/2025 16:09

To just ignore the link that my husband has sent me to this article?
https://www.healthline.com/health/prostate-cancer/ejaculation-prostate-cancer#research
For context we are over 50 and have grownup children. I'd say we manage about a third of that.... so 7 times a month..... Is there really a world in which couples with jobs, hobbies and unavoidable chores manage 21 times a month, 12 months a year, apart from in the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship?

Ejaculation and Prostate Cancer: Is There a Connection?

If you ejaculate frequently, your risk of getting prostate cancer may be reduced. But how often is frequent? And is this true for men of all ages?

https://www.healthline.com/health/prostate-cancer/ejaculation-prostate-cancer#research

OP posts:
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Waitingfordoggo · 04/05/2025 15:25

YANBU to ignore the link OP. Frequency of sex varies massively as you can see from the answers you’ve got! DH and I are on the less frequent side but we are both happy with how things are.

PP says it only has to take ten minutes but again, that’s going to vary from person to person. Some of us need more foreplay- I wouldn’t enjoy a ten minute quickie!

AnotherDelphinium · 04/05/2025 14:48

WTF987 · 03/05/2025 18:47

"Looks like your hand is going to be getting a good workout then! Make sure you clean up after yourself" is about the only response I'd be sending.

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This!

And if he mentions it again you laugh and tell him surely he’s not suggesting to increase your risk of downstairs cancer by flushing his toxins out into you?

Or if he’s like the majority of men and hates condoms, suggest that yes, you should definitely be using condoms to prevent the toxins/mutations going into you.

blackballfinal · 04/05/2025 14:40

It’s talking about ejaculation, not sex, send him for a cognitive test

LoafofSellotape · 04/05/2025 14:35

It says ejaculation not sex.

AquaPeer · 04/05/2025 14:34

Lots of men find it easy to wank 21 times a month

GildedRage · 04/05/2025 14:32

Discuss masterbation, there are sex toys to help men masterbate, offer to look up shops? Surely he can go on his own, lube can be purchased elsewhere, consider adding this to the grocery list.
Don’t get emotional, be very medical and factual. As above tell him the toxins flushed are unhealthy for your vaginal canal and increases your chances of cervical cancer.

doodahdayy · 04/05/2025 14:23

Simplelife1 · 04/05/2025 09:46

Pretty gross that ejaculations can rid his prostate of cancer causing materials, infections and matter that causes inflammation, and pump them straight in our bodies, cheers

When you put it like that its even more off putting

blueleavesgreensky · 04/05/2025 14:17

tripleginandtonic · 04/05/2025 09:46

Do the maths, your husband is doing it at least 28 times with no wanking.

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Is that some kind of ‘special’ maths you are using?

HereInMyHeart · 04/05/2025 13:55

tripleginandtonic · 04/05/2025 09:46

Do the maths, your husband is doing it at least 28 times with no wanking.

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I think it’s you who needs you need to ‘do the maths’.

Runningoutofpatiencefucksandmoney · 04/05/2025 13:50

Also impressed at 7 times a month misses point of the thread entirely

PsychoHotSauce · 04/05/2025 13:46

TiramisuQueenoftheFairies · 03/05/2025 18:42

I am thinking the latter..... and trying to work out how to tactfully suggest he doesn't need me 21 times a month.

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"Oh darling, you've already had your ejaculation quota this month. Yes, I decided to keep track because of the article you sent me, out of concern for your health!"

I'd be saying this even with no idea of how many times he'd had a wank, just insisting he'd already had 21 this month, and that he should be careful. Everything in moderation eh? If fruit and veg is good for you, but excessive fruit and veg gives you the runs, the same logic could apply here.

It's really manipulative of him. As if whether or not you put out will determine his likelihood of getting cancer.

61here · 04/05/2025 10:02

Well I'd say it's perfectly possible. We are in our 60s and easily manage that! Hopefully this means my husbands chances are lowered bug I'd take the findings with a pinch of salt!

tripleginandtonic · 04/05/2025 09:46

blueleavesgreensky · 03/05/2025 20:49

OP in answer to your question of course there are people who do. And people who don’t. 32 years in and 3 dc. We are intimate on average 4x a week. So not quite the 21 x a month but he entertains himself during the month so I’m sure he hits that number

Do the maths, your husband is doing it at least 28 times with no wanking.

Simplelife1 · 04/05/2025 09:46

Pretty gross that ejaculations can rid his prostate of cancer causing materials, infections and matter that causes inflammation, and pump them straight in our bodies, cheers

HelpMeGetThrough · 04/05/2025 09:44

ReplacementBusService · 03/05/2025 16:18

Buy him an 80s jazz mag and a box of Kleenex as a helpful gift 💫

Jazz. Music to knock one out to.

doodahdayy · 04/05/2025 09:35

StupidBoy · 03/05/2025 18:08

For context we are over 50 and have grownup children. I'd say we manage about a third of that.... so 7 times a month.

If the grown up children both of yours and you didn't just meet five years ago then I'd say you deserve a medal. I mean even once a month impresses me.

Yes I think 7 times a month is pretty impressive.

doodahdayy · 04/05/2025 09:33

He can have a wank to make up for it.

TranceNation · 04/05/2025 09:32

I thought it was common knowledge that men have increased testicular cancer risk if you don't ejaculate to some sort of frequency. He of course could just top up his frequency with some self care of course though.

myplace · 04/05/2025 09:28

if I remember correctly you’re already extending his life by staying married to him. He can go the extra mile on his own, I’m sure.

AdoraBell · 04/05/2025 09:22

Well, it’s his health and so he could look after his health in his own hands.

Original poster
TiramisuQueenoftheFairies · 04/05/2025 09:18

arethereanyleftatall · 03/05/2025 18:45

Why tactfully? He hasn’t extended you that courtesy has he?

as a slight aside, do you see sex with your husband as a chore?

Tactfully because I always come out worse off if I'm confrontational about anything...... No, not a chore, but something that takes at least half an hour if not longer...... we go for quality not frequency.... which is apparenty unfortunate for his prostate health!

OP posts:
Weekmindedfool · 03/05/2025 21:49

Sounds about right to me.

blueleavesgreensky · 03/05/2025 20:49

OP in answer to your question of course there are people who do. And people who don’t. 32 years in and 3 dc. We are intimate on average 4x a week. So not quite the 21 x a month but he entertains himself during the month so I’m sure he hits that number

AltitudeCheck · 03/05/2025 20:27

Suggests he builds up to 21 gradually and switches to the other hand occasionally to avoid RSI 😂

WTF987 · 03/05/2025 18:47

TiramisuQueenoftheFairies · 03/05/2025 18:42

I am thinking the latter..... and trying to work out how to tactfully suggest he doesn't need me 21 times a month.

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"Looks like your hand is going to be getting a good workout then! Make sure you clean up after yourself" is about the only response I'd be sending.

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