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Original poster

Is this weird parenting?

493 replies

JillAndJenTheFlowerpotMen · 03/05/2025 15:36

I have one dd who is a young teenager and who hasn’t yet hit puberty. I have been thinking that when she starts her period, I might buy her a small piece of jewellery to give her, to mark her transition to womanhood. And take her mind off the fact that she’ll have hormonal shit going on for the next forty years or so.

something like this: https://www.johnlewis.com/auree-hampton-gold-vermeil-pendant-necklace/gold-ruby/p111668104

Am I being weird? Or is this a nice thing to do?

OP posts:
Kjpt140v · 04/05/2025 20:46

It looks like a clot on a chain.

JayJayj · 04/05/2025 20:45

getting your period does make her a woman. It’s just something that happens.

Buffs · 04/05/2025 20:38

BeADinosaur · 03/05/2025 15:55

Weird.

Also, periods are not a sign of 'womanhood'.

11 year olds who have their period are children. Not anywhere close to being a woman.

This! Save a present to mark her ‘womanhood’ for her 18th birthday. Let children be children.

MumoftwoGranofone · 04/05/2025 20:09

Why not? Other cultures celebrate this transition!

Willyoujust · 04/05/2025 20:01

I would buy her the necklace now. Tell her you saw it and thought she would like it so treated her. I wouldn’t give it her to celebrate her starting her period. That’s weird.

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:59

Shessweetbutapsycho · 03/05/2025 15:43

I think it’s nice 🙂

I agree. Lovely idea 😀

MonsteraDelicious · 04/05/2025 19:59

Well I think it's nice!

Ladymeade · 04/05/2025 19:58

Sorry - yes weird

ThoseWhoDance · 04/05/2025 19:57

How odd people are.

I think it’s a lovely idea and you shouldn’t be discouraged by all the negative comments. It is after all a rite of passage, even though we no longer celebrate it as such - and why should it not be marked with something special, between mother and daughter? I’m sure it will be something she will treasure.

jobling · 04/05/2025 19:47

I didn’t, because I didn’t think of it and no one else I knew did, I think it’s a nice idea. It’s a pretty monumental moment in a daughter’s life. Females go through so many hormonal ups and downs I feel it’s nice to recognise that.

note to self: buy something nice for me when I finish my 40 year stint!

WhatMyNameis · 04/05/2025 19:38

SilviaSnuffleBum · 03/05/2025 15:45

https://www.toppleandburn.com/product-page/fuck-youterus

Only if it's this one.
Otherwise, it's fucking weird.

Brilliant and perfect, forever a private joke between the two of you!

PeriodDramas · 04/05/2025 19:30

My mother bought me a moon necklace which I then felt obliged to wear. She also wrote a ritual and litergy which was published in a book about women's cultural and spiritual practices. I refused to do the ritual. She celebrated being published instead. I've been in therapy for years.

gingerninja · 04/05/2025 19:27

But she isn’t a woman though, she’s an adolescent and surely a period is a fairly big marker of that in itself? My teens would not have appreciated this at all. It is weird.

VK456 · 04/05/2025 19:22

neilyoungismyhero · 03/05/2025 16:13

Dear God > remember the hammock thingies?

Show quote history

😂
The pads were so long on me that they used to wag at the back like a tail as I walked!

anotherdayinparadiseagain · 04/05/2025 19:21

Is it not a bit handmaids tale??

envbeckyc · 04/05/2025 19:19

I did this with my eldest daughter and will do it when my youngest daughter hits puberty!

There is too much shame associated with womanhood and personally it needs to stop!

I bought her a necklace to mark the occasion that I knew she would love, and I congratulated her on her body doing what nature intended it to do!

The engraving on the back of the pendent says ‘May all your transitions bring you joy’’

She will probably have many in her life, going to university and living independently, getting married, becoming a mother, etc…

I am perimenopausal and on the happy day my periods finally end and I officially have the menopause I will buy myself a bangle with the same inscription on the inside!

Many of the comments on this thread reinforce a negative perception of menstruation, but it’s completely normal! As a mother I have always tried to remove a stigma associated with a natural life transition!

OP I think your idea is kind!

Mellowbear · 04/05/2025 19:18

Very strange indeed

heffalumpwoozle · 04/05/2025 19:15

I think a treat like a day out when it's over to make her feel better, or some new pyjamas/ chocolates etc, something comforting, is much more appropriate .

TheDramaLlama123 · 04/05/2025 19:12

I done a similar thing, I made a little gift basket, included a nice necklace, a book on puberty, a diary to record her periods and moods, some chocolate and a few more pamper bits and pieces. She loved it and I hope it turned something that I found scary and overwhelming into something less so and more positive

Tryonemoretime · 04/05/2025 19:08

I think it's a lovely idea. I'd hide it inside a little basket of practical things - hot water bottle, pads etc.

Scrimblescromble · 04/05/2025 18:59

I think it’s a lovely idea. It depends on your relationship with your daughter and whether you think she’d like it. None of us here can answer that. I know someone whose daughter recently started and she made her a self care box and they got a take away to celebrate. It’s a milestone for you as well as her.

TattyBluebell · 04/05/2025 18:52

I actually think it's a very nice idea! I know my own daughter wouldn't have appreciated it at all.. she did like her TLC pamper kit though!
You know your girly better than us though. If you think it's something she would like and appreciate then go for it!

Pliudev · 04/05/2025 18:50

I don't think it's weird at all and I'm surprised so many do. It's to mark a transition and many cultures and religions do that. It doesn't require explanations, such as 'I got it when I had my first period'. It's just a loving mother daughter gesture recognising another step along the road to maturity.

nyancatdays · 04/05/2025 18:47

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 04/05/2025 18:39

why do you insist on having to "mark the occasion" at all?

Why not? My DD loved the idea. It’s a positive way of celebrating a girl’s changing identity. DD is 12 and her friends all talk about whether they have started their periods or not. When I was a teenager we were all desperate to start our periods and were jealous of those who had!

Perhaps someone should have taken us aside and explained that we shouldn’t be eagerly anticipating it, because it’s such a horrible, negative and mortifying experience, and we should just pretend it doesn’t happen because female bodily experience is so disgusting and shameful?

ThePoliteLion · 04/05/2025 18:46

Lovely necklace, by all means give it to her, but don’t link it to her period. X