DP moved jobs around a year ago when DD was 1. It meant he worked away Monday to Friday. We weren’t in a great place relationship wise at the time and had discussed ending things.
However, things became really good. We’ve gone from strength to strength and really happy.
In March I found out that he has never told anyone at his new work about me or DD. I was mostly shocked that DD was a secret but also very hurt that I was too. There’s also people he knows from a long time ago who get in touch at new year or infrequently who he hasn’t told either.
We talked about it and he said he just felt worried we were going to break up and it was hard to talk about at work due to the nature of the work…yet he knows all about his colleagues’ lives.
I basically said either he is transparent and lives authentically or I don’t want to be part of this. He said he would tell people and be open. Last night he said he still hadn’t told anyone as he was finding it hard to find the right words, so I resorted to saying change his photo on WhatsApp to one with our daughter because at least that would show me he actually wanted to fix this. He refused and said he would do it next week after he had told people in person. The nature of his work means all his contacts are on his WhatsApp and so this has made me particularly pissed off.
I am not the sort of person to be controlling or care about social media etc and I hate that I feel I’ve been driven to this state of upset. Part of me does actually want to just end things. I wonder if I’m being dramatic and don’t want to disrupt things for DD. it’s all making me feel shit. Aibu?