Why are so many English people so cold and reserved?

You and your workplace sound bonkers. I’m not British, but lived and worked in the UK for over 25 years, in a number of different workplaces, and not only did I have unproblematically collegial relationships with male colleagues, I travelled with them, had lunch with them etc. .

We do but you have to get to know us quite well. It can take a long time to become part of a group of people.
I'm friends with a number of people that I've worked with, over a long career but it's not a given. Give it a little time, OP. Find a hobby that you enjoy, a book group, a walking club or whatever. In my experience women are easier to get to know.

Men can lose their careers for just saying good morning to a female colleague

I am sorry you are working in such a toxic workplace. Surely if this keeps happening to these poor men who get sacked for saying good morning to women, they should seek advice from their union rep. I have worked for 40 years in different places and have never seen this happening. I would encourage you all to challenge it if you keep being sacked for saying good morning to a female colleague.

I was about to say that @SapporoBaby - didn’t the Italians invent empires? 😆

I think perhaps you should look at Italian history OP. It wasn’t England on the side of the Nazis and the Romans did quite as much colonising as anyone else.

And sorry OP but from your description of your colleague it sounds like perhaps people at your company have lost enthusiasm for their jobs and are bogged down by it.

That or they’ve taken an instant dislike to you. Otherwise I don’t know anyone who won’t engage in a touch of small talk. It sounds bizarre.

@chiseltipstop talking bollocks. Anyone who lost their job for saying good morning is lying or else they could easily have sued the employer.

Women do not hate men. They just want to be treated with professionalism. My male boss and I discussed our non work lives eventually when we knew each other better. It’s very normal. You clearly spend too much time online and reading sensationalist headlines and believing any man who speaks to you.

You boss here the UK is working to standard operating procedure. Which is (unless you want to be accused of sexual harassment) no interaction with the opposite sex unless strictly necessary.

As you said, you haven't worked here for a number of years. You won't be familiar with the culture of near abject hate that exists between men and women, well, mostly women towards men. I wish I was being overly dramatic or provocative, but unfortunately I'm not.

Men can lose their careers for just saying good morning to a female colleague. I've never understood it myself. But there's no chance a male boss in the UK will ever ask a female colleague (let alone his own staff) anything that isn't work related. Even holding a door open can be considered harassment. Work Place culture in the UK is utterly toxic now.

Even travelling to work events with colleagues of the opposite sex is discouraged.

My SMY say that they are legally obliged to do everything within reason to prevent sexual harassment and that they are liable if an allegation is made.

Not sure about the EU. But that appears to be the case here in the UK.

Exactly. The OP is essentially a tourist coming up with a stereotype based on interactions with hotel reception staff and a tour leader.

Ah well. Now that you’ve given us irrefutable proof that all English people are cold and unfriendly, I believe you. 🙄

I encountered some racist Italians. I doubt they're typical of their nation, though.

2 weeks?
1 person?
That's called stereotyping.

Yes I think there are cultural norms varying between countries through culture, workplaces and even departments within workplaces.

these are beliefs, values and a shared standard of acceptable behaviour.

what the OP is experiencing in her workplace isn’t based in country IMO and I suspect is more workplace culture instead. If she had come on and said she hated the culture of her office she would be right but she didn’t she extended it out to a whole country

Are people really saying there are no cultural differences between countries in terms of social norms and practices?!

I mean, I wouldn’t want to live anywhere other than London and the UK, and love our humour etc, but I can see that different countries have different cultural norms. I am finding it strange that people are denying this in their defensiveness!

She sounds rude.

Though there are many on MN who cannot manage small-talk so perhaps she just does not know how to chat.

That woman sounds quite extreme. Most people I meet are not like that and would be able to engage in basic conversation. Perhaps your workplace culture is just rubbish, and people are unhappy? I would maybe consider moving job if possible.

Of course there are cultural differences between countries.

OP, by posting this on a predominantly English forum, you are were always going to get these defensive responses, proving you right ;-)

I had a real culture shock when I went to Australia. People seemed so open and friendly. Same in Ireland.

However, I think whilst people here can be a little less friendly and open immediately, I think given some time, people do show their individual kindness and helpfulness.

I do think that we are perhaps more self-conscious here. I also think there may be a link with drinking, as we drink quite a lot here. Or used to. I think many need it to loosen up inhibitions.

The biggest thing I notice is hospitality. Whilst I was born and brought up here, I am from a different culture. My husband is English. Even he now notices the difference in hosting and hospitality between different cultures.

Obviously this is a stereotype and not about individuals. but our friends who are of Australian, Israeli, Indian, Spanish, Greek, US nationality (to name a few), greet guests with piles of food and drink. As a whole, the English hosting is quite different and more limited. I have seen threads on here saying it’s fine not to offer a cup of tea to an unexpected guest, or it’s ok not to offer food to parents at a kid’s party. That would be unheard of in many cultures. And it is not related to money. Some of the most generous hosting I have experienced has been in some of the poorest countries in the world. Again, a stereotype but there is some basis in reality. Others have noticed it in my social group. And of course generous English hosts do exist too!

OP I am sorry you are feeling isolated. I hope things improve. Is there a group from your community here that you can join as a start? Hobbies can also work if you have time. There are friendly English people around; it may just take a while. And as you get older, people in general are busier and may have less time for new friendships. So it may well not be personal, but logistical.

Everyone got through two world wars, stiff upper lip or no.

And frankly, the stiff upper lip was firmly in place well before the world wars.

If your male boss acted like your Italian boss (inviting you into a room to read poetry to you) he'd probably be accused of being creepy.

People can only really work at a pace they feel comfortable with when it comes to friendships. I hope you start to settle into UK life soon OP :)

I worked with the USA version of that woman you just described, in my company NYC office.

She didn’t want to “waste time and energy” saying hello or doing small talk. She was young, attractive and a complete bitch. She had some work friends, but otherwise did her job and had minimal social interaction. So much that when she was pregnant, no one (who wasn’t in her inner circle) asked her anything about due date & she never even announced pregnancy. She did make big complaints though about having to use a small step to occasionally reach documents on a shelf whilst pregnant. Hilarious really - the big risk of using a step … all she needed to do is ask a colleague or ask documents to be moved. Tho hard to ask for help when you aren’t friendly to anyone and specifically say you don’t want anyone to talk to you.

Personally, would never go out of my way to help her with anything. I gave her the minimum. Once she had big toilet paper strip trailing from her shoe, I didn’t tell her.

Your update about the monosyllabic colleague prompted memories of the only workplace where I felt deliberately shunned. Sure, different places have different cultures but this was bad. I should've left asap, but I kept believing it must be a simple matter of toning things right down and waiting. It got worse.

It eventually turned out that the company had an institutional bullying problem and, within my department, the person in my role was always a target. There wasn't a reason for it, it was just the lore. Nice people were keeping away from me because they didn't want to see the car crash, and not-so-nice colleagues were enjoying the fresh chapter.

It would be fair to say I wasn't a good fit for that culture. Had I known about it, I wouldn't even have tried! I stuck it out far, far too long; it did me real and lasting harm. Now, I'd say if you feel like your face doesn't fit for some reason, don't bother wondering why or trying to fix it. Leave.

English and I talk to anyone, and certainly not socially inept here, maybe age is a factor? However I increasingly found workplaces can be cesspits, often due to poor management, so I definitely wouldn't base an opinion on work colleagues, as corporate culture can be awful in some places!

She just wants to get on with work

Giving mono syllabic answers is just being deliberately rude

She sounds like a bitch, give her back the same energy

Is she above you in rank in the workplace and she thought that it was beneath her to converse with someone like you

I would suggest not asking people personal questions until you suss them out more and try and figure out which are the nice ones and which ones are not

Let others instigate the conversation

Come and live in the West Country, we are a very friendly bunch.