Why are so many English people so cold and reserved?

No it doesn’t it means that in the face of adversity the English are stoic in the face of adversity remain optimistic

it did have connotations of emotions restraint in the Victorian ages when a 40 year mourning period meant no one was allowed to show emotions

there are other differences between your bosses one is male the other is female which I think possibly is a factor as well - how about age as well.

You have different bosses and that can change how you feel about a job - both DH and I have had boss changes in the same role and it does change things.

sometimes these things are just personal to you and the fact you miss your old job and it hasn’t been what you have wanted it to be

so find the things that you liked yourself look at classes, what is available in your company etc and be proactive rather than waiting for your boss to do it

No never found this. I am Irish lived in England for many years married to an English man found people friendly, funny and kind. Only thing I found weird when I first moved over was some people's need to place me as in where did you go to school, what university did you go to, figured that was to do with some people holding on to class system

But that's one British person. My English boss is hugely interested in me, my life and my interests. All my British bosses have been the same - friendly, warm, supportive.

I worked in Spain for a few years. Many of my Spanish colleagues appeared hostile and aggressive. That's the overall feeling I've been left with about the Spanish despite having some lovely Spanish friends.

TBH, while in Spain I would have welcomed English reserve!

I broadly agree with you OP, fwiw. I’m foreign, have lived in the UK for about a decade. I find that the average English person is more reserved than their equivalent in Europe, Ireland, Australia, Canada, the States, South America. There’s a particular social dance you have to do, sometimes over long periods of time, to become friends with people here in my experience.

I would hate to live in a culture that was hugely in your face and personal - I have Israeli family and people there have no issue asking about your love life, salary and how much your car cost almost in passing, AND there are many good things about the English too, but yes - agreed.

Some people like to set clear boundaries in the workplace regardless of their nationality or culture. It's also possible that there's something about you that many people don't initially warm to.

@Seventell

"Youve never heard people say that english people are cold and reserved?"

Reserved, yes. Cold? no.

I suspect you may be an Italian person 😉

I think you're overreacting to an office-shock (one workplace to another) and to people with probably more boundaries than you like. You only have to read some of the CF (Cheeky Fucker) threads on MN to see how boundaries can serve one very well!

There's a definite difference in general. I've lived in two Latin countries, including Spain. The people do come across as warmer and less reserved than British people, in the way they communicate and interact. When I first moved there I thought "Wow, Spanish people are the friendliest people on earth! So much nicer than British people."
However, what I will say about the Spanish people I met is that sometimes I found their warmth to be superficial. For example, they might act like my best friend and invite me round for dinner after meeting me once and then it never happened. Or it did happen and I thought we were friends but then after a while it seemed like they werent actually bothered. What I like about English/British people is that they may appear slightly reserved/cold at first but if they get to the stage of inviting you to their house they probably really like you and you've made a lifelong friend! British people are slow to warm up and developing friendships can take a long time, but once you are friends the connection is deep and lasting.
Obviously this is all generalisations. I actually work with two Italians who are both rather cold and unfriendly!

Sigh. You said it in response to another poster countering your ‘point’ about English people being ‘cold and cruel’ because they’re an island nation, by pointing out that Ireland, generally thought of as being very friendly, is also an island nation. Or are you confused by how conversations work? What point is it you thought you were trying to make about Irish anti-immigration protests?

I’m Irish, but lived in three different parts of England for 20 years. I’ve also lived longterm in the US, France and the ME. I certainly don’t recognise your ‘cold and cruel’ stereotype, and by your reckoning someone from a ‘friendly’ country should have been miserable. I certainly encountered semi-regular anti-Irish prejudice, but from a small minority of English people. Even though it contributed to my decision to leave, it didn’t make me churn out insane generalisations about an entire population on the internet.

I find English people to be overly extroverted. My bf reminds me when I go get a haircut that I have to talk to them 😅

Gross generalisation.. why judge English people based just on your boss and colleagues!

Its not strange, it’s cultural.

like every country

I doubt you've met all 58 million English people but generalise away.

If you need your boss to bring in cakes and look up art classes for you to feel part of a team then I think it is you need to grow up and stop confusing your manager with your mum. Work requires professional behaviour and boundaries.

Yes, you have probably just been unlucky/ your own personal experience.

I am originally Kurdish but have lived here in England for over 27 years. I have studied here and worked in various jobs - everyone has been lovely and friendly; always eager to help and accommodate me in the new working environment.

I actually think the English and us British people are one of the most polite people in the world, perhaps some can be a little reserved, however they have never been cold.

I definitely don't think this is the reason. I'm an Australian living in England and whenever I return to Australia I have reverse culture shock by how open and friendly most people are. It only really hits me how reserved many English people are whenever I return home, and Australia is much, much more isolated!!

English people have had this reputation for decades - if not centuries! It goes with emotional reserve and the English stiff upper lip, it can come across as coldness.

You've touched a nerve with a lot of posters OP!

Oh but she has been living in another European country dontcha know. Been living with the lovely friendly Italians and is now having mix with cold emotionally stunted English people.....oh the horrors. Quick OP hot foot it back to Italy fast.

Have lived and worked in England all of my life. Work in a wonderful team of caring, kind and compassionate Nurses, I do not recognise what you are describing.

Again no I have not heard that the English are cold and reserved and have spent a lot of time in Europe.

Of course I Have heard of the stiff upper lip saying but it was used in my Grandparents era not heard recently. I don’t know why you feel the need to explain it again that it means people don’t show emotion it’s clear what it means but you are wrong to say all English are like it and the rest of Europe agree because they don’t.